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should i believe him?please read
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
me and my boyfriend brokeup about 3 months ago and after we broke up whenever he saw me he would just stare at me and one time he almost wreaked his bike lookin at me when i drive by in the car. and all mine and his friends say he still loves me.the other day his best friend imed me and asked me all these questions and then he told me that my ex still love me alot. and then on monday he called me 3 times but i was sleepin so i didint answer my cell.and then on tuesday me and my friend were watchen tv and he called 6 times but i didnt hear it ring and on the 7th time i answered it and we talked from12-3am and his friend told me that my ex loved me and wanted to bang me. but i dont kno if i should believe him........wat do u think it sounds like he still loves me or do u think he is just playen?? but i really like him still so it is really important to me so please respond asap
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Comments
I think that's your answer there mate. He sounds like a creep, your worth more than that, steer clear
very true,and there obv is a reason why u broke up in the 1st place...maybe its not meant to be.when people are on the rebound,they often want ex's back.
Move on.
Like someone else has said: exs are exs for a reason.
Point being if they are guys his mates will 'paraphrase' what he says. I severely doubt any guy would say "I wish I could bang her". However I could quite easily imagine a guy saying it about his mate.
You have to remember here that you are not getting the information first hand before making any snap judgements about him being immature or whatever people above have assumed.
Also do not expect him to say anything to you himself. He might but if he doesn't then it doesn't mean he doesn't think it as was also wrote above. If you are still friends with the guy then saying things like that to you can put his friendship with you in an aqward positiion he might not want it to be in. Does he know his friend is telling you all this?
As a completely different viewpoint purely because this is all from his best friend are you friends with his best friend or not?
In summary people above are not thinking through what they are writing and making snap judgements which happens all to often on these boards.
Just because people don't have the same thoughts and opinions as you on a subject doesn't mean they have not thought them through properly.
Cutie08 has asked everyone for their take on her post and that is what she is getting. Wouldn't be much help if everyone had the same view on it would it? It helps when you get different peoples perspectives on things as they will always vary to each others and help you make any decisions you need to make.
Don't be too quick to judge.
PILE OF MINCE.
If that guy stares at her, calls her - especially her ex - he does want to be with her, but he should get new friends. He's just going about it all wrong. He needs to get his arse in gear and realise what he's really missed. And if WHAT he missed was just habit, dependency or something that did compliment his personality.
But I still stand firm with what Scarlet says - Exes ARE exes, for a reason.
I went through all the motions with my ex. Him phoning me loooooooooads, talking on the phone to him for hours at a time, and all the electricity, seeing him stare at me, etc. That's great if it'll work. More than likely it won't, because old habits resurface, and you remember why you break up AS SOON as the honeymoon period ends.
Personally, I think that if it's meant to be and what you truly want, it's something you never deliberate over something as big as this if it's what you want. If you deliberate on it, rather than acting on it because you know it's so right..it's definitely not worth it.
Yawn yawn yawn. Learn to read! On phone to FRIEND not the EX. Also this is all according to what the FRIEND says not the EX.
Schanpp it is a snap judgement as you are taking her recieving secondary information as the same as recieving primary information which it clearly isn't.
Oh for fuck's sake. It's an internet message board you bawheid. As if we know all the right information. YOU don't even know the proper stuff so don't try and carry off this whole "BUH! I know the full story, you all think far too much into this, you cretins!!" attitude son, cause it DOESN'T suit you.
ANYHOO. I am not disputing what her friend told her etc, I am disputing that you are telling everyone that we are making snap decisions. What else have we to go on? What else do we have to go on in ANY discussion thread on this board? Don't fling your stupid analytical crap at me.
And shouldn't you be a little more open minded? Rather than completely disagreeing with everyone and thinking that YOU have the answers?
He does seem immature to get his mates to do his dirty work for her. If he truely loved her, he wouldn't give two fucks to what they say and call her himself and tell her what he's sorry about. But he hasn't and that's why she should stay clear.
He's not got any guts. If you love someone, you disregard EVERYTHING and EVERYONE to get back together. He's just fannying around.
BTW - Learn to WRITE. "He might but if he doesn't then it doesn't mean he doesn't think it as was also wrote above."
Who writes, or thinks like that? THAT was a snap decision. Too much of a stream of conciousness. No one actually talks/thinks like that unless they are much too inarticulate. Have you met yourself?
People write like that when they are working overnighters and frankly don't have patience to write properly for people who seem to be only skim reading posts.
I also didn't realise you had been in every persons head and know exactly how they think to suggest that your way of thinking is in fact the correct one.
Moving on from your own arrogance my point is people are making snap decisions on what they THINK the post said and not what it said. If you take what it said with no assumptions then what has been posted is not true.
Who says he IS getting his mates to do his dirty work is my own point. Nobody is except the assumption people like yourself are making. Just because his mate said something to her doesn't mean he asked his mate to or even that he said anything to his mate in the first place DOES IT?
Now READ my post a second time through before replying and actualy TAKE IN what it says because I get very bored very quickly with people like yourself that try to be insulting and in the end miss whole point of what I wrote.
Now READ my post very carefully....
Get a life mate
We all have the right to post what we like and what we feel on this board and I will not change what I put for someone like you.
Get over it, not everyone will agree with you all the time, thats life. Get out more
End of discussion
Cutie 08, good luck with what you decide to do
From what you've said it sounds very muddled up, maybe your ex does like you. But if he hasn't said anything to you then he might be a) scared to lose your friendship, or scared of rejection b) doesnt want to go down that route again, just getting out of the relationship for reasons that maybe he doesnt want it back, but does miss you. However, two important factors you need to take into account is his mates accuracy, and honesty. His mate might have said to him in idle conversation "I miss being with so and so" because he genuinely does miss being with you. But that can get translated easily...
Best thing to do is just do nothing, so to speak. If he has feelings then it's up to him to approach you. Of course, if he perseveres with the staring it could lead to an obsesssion, merely speculating here (one with experience). So sometimes the harsh but true 'we're over with' thing helps snap him out.
If you are considering a relationship with him, only take what you see with your own eyes and dont let the attention flatter you. The amount of people I know who have jumped into a bad relationship because receiving the attention made them feel good etc.
Exes are exes for a reason, like it has been said here. Sometimes the reason you broke up can go away or change, or it can become non-important. There are people who have gone out with exes and remained with them etc. etc. But at the present moment in time it seems nothing is clear so tread carefully, and good luck.
Well why bother replying to the thread then if you don't have the patience? Regardless whether you had the patience or not, you still directed the majority of the post to cutie08.
When did I say what I thought was the correct thing to act on? I only said what I THOUGHT. I didn't say she'd need to do it or not. Now you stop skim reading, sunshine.
Regardless of whether they read it or not, they are doing a good thing in telling her to steer clear. Plus, there's not an awful lot of information posted to tell us eeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeeverything that's happened. Why they broke up, what happens when she sees her ex. We don't know this. YOU don't know this. We have every right to discuss what we like. Last time I checked, this was a DISCUSSION BOARD.
Nobody, but regardless - KNOW THE DEFINITION OF THIS WORD?! - if his mate is interfering under instruction or not, he needs new mates. He needs to mature a bit. Like I've said for the THIRD TIME...if this chap wanted to be with her, he'd do the decent thing and act upon it rather than staring contests and all this shite.
I've read it. If you're REALLY so bored, why dedicate 5 minutes of your time to point out something that doesn't justify you at all. I'm not trying to be anything, I'm saying what a lot of people are thinking. It seems YOU missed the point of what I wrote initially. She should steer clear of her ex. He has no balls to come clean and admit it. He has his mates who do it for him under instruction or not. No real mate would do that for them. Especially with that kind of attitude - "My ex wants to bang me". No harm in saying that, now is there?
1983: you go girl. Shame I didn't get to say hi yesterday, would have been a pleasure.
As for the poor girl who started the thread: steer clear. He's still getting his mates to ask you out? How old is he, eleven?
"He loves you and wants to bang you". Err. I don't know how you can withstand the romanticism of it all.
I know, I could have met you for an hour, I had an hour for lunch! I thought I only had half and hour. Didn't find out until I went into work.
There has to be another meet muchos soon. Where I can tell work I want a half day on a weekend
Sigh again
You said "Who thinks like that?" so unless of course you know how everybody thinks in the world that is a pointless statement.
Having a go at someone because of what their mates do behind their back is just unfair.
Now as its a discussion board I am discussing you and schnap however seem to feel the need to INSULT and last time I checked it isn't an INSULTING board now is it?
How does the actions of a mate affect the maturity of someone? Can you always know what your friends do? Is it immature to have a immature mate? I think not.
How can you say he has no balls? If thats the case why doesn't Cutie ask him herself or is she also gutless? I didn't realise there was some sort of time limit on how quickly you have to make your feelings known. The fact remains quite clearly that it is his friend doing all this and not him. If he doesn't know this is being said then please explain what he has done wrong except have a poor mate which you seem to think justifies making him such a bad person.
Or maybe every friend you have ever had was perfect?
Telling someone to steer clear because it's an ex is fine and I have no problem with that I have a problem with having a go at the guy for the actions of someone else as Girl Interupted and Shy Boy have both agreed or is that too hard to understand for you and Schnap?
I'd suggest you go and get yourself a nice cup of tea and a chocolate hob nob, and put your feet up for a bit. You'll have a heart attack- stress is a killer.
And how does the girl who started this thread not know whether his mates are twisting whatever he tells them?
Which is what 1983, Kermit and Schnapp can't seem to understand is possible.
Sorry I don't want it to appear that I am desputing what anyone else has posted or impling that my views are right and others arent. I was just pointing out that just because someone hasn't posted the same answer/opinion as yourself does not mean that they have not thought their post through properly as you said before.
To clarify my post was thought through properly and that personally that is my opinion on the situation (the amount I know about the situation anyway). Like you said alot of factors can change the action needed. This is my gut reaction to what was posted, thats ok isnt it surely? All I did was post how I felt and that's what Cutie 08 asked, I am a bit unsure why there is a problem? Havent dont anything wrong?
WTF. Where did I say I DIDN'T understand that? For fuck's sake. You're such a wee wifey who NEEDS to be right. God help you son. DIDN'T I SAY HE NEEDS BETTER MATES WHO AREN'T IMMATURE AS TO SAY THIS CRAP TO HER?
LOOK!
GOD YOU STUPID BAWSACK. Now really. Stop it. AND SIGH RIGHT BACK AT YOU YOU AHSMATIC.
I didn't realise you were telepathic.
Telepathetic, yes, but I didn't know you could read my mind.
Oh wait, you can't. Because I never said that.
Not like you to make something up in an argument though, is it?
1983 = winner.
Now you have just changed your original argument have you not? You decided to try and argue with me when your original post was about the fact the guy was staring and phoning her when if you read it he was not. His mate was phoning and saying he was staring. There is a big distinction.
Change the argument to something else all you want but you started off saying the guy was doing this stuff when it was his mate. You didn't read the post properly.
Kermit its not even worth discussing anything with you as you don't discuss it. You ignore anything said and repeat over and over. Beginning to lose track of amount of times you have tried to correct my maths and just been wrong and refused to accept it.
Yes, there is a big distinction. The ex was staring - the mate, interfering.
GOT IT? GOOD. You lack lots of common sense here. So much so this arguement is going nowhere.
I'm not arguing about whether I read anything wrongly, I am arguing because your logic is crap with all the bollocks you spout out such as :
When did I say he was a bad person? WHERE? When?
When did I say you have a problem about disagreeing with me when her ex should stay clear??
When did I have a go about her ex? When have I justified anything you have claimed I've done there? REALLY?
THE ARGUEMENT IS ABOUT THIS.
LOOK. LOOK, NO REALLY.
COME CLOSER TO THE SCREEN UNTIL YOU CAN SEE THE BREATH FROM YOUR MOUTH FOG THE SCREEN.
AND THAT, my friend is what I'm pissed about. As if there is a set, sufficient time to contemplate the history of their relationship and come up with a decent resolution. Fuck off with that attitude, really.
No evidence he has done this
I think that is having a go at him
Want it any plainer? Plus must you swear and be so aggressive it is completely unnesscesary.
Of course there bloody isnt this is a message board ffs! lol
Its people like you that remind me why I took a break from this place, grow up.
Can you please answer the following for me;
Do people using the boards have the right to post their opinion on a subject on the boards?
Does anyone have the right to tell them their opinion was not thought through properly or incorrect?
Are you just really imature?
Serioulsy now you are pissing me off, please steer clear of me in future posts