ive lost all my sexual confidence

Former Member

i don't know whether this is more of a sex or relationship problem...i guess its both so here goes...ive posted here before about my boyfriend's impotence (im using the term loosely,he wasn't 100% impotent), that obviously put a lot of strain on the relationship.but a while ago he went to the doctors and was put on cialis- similar to viagra.his impotence isn't physical,its psychological but we weren't able to get counselling so it was the best option.

the cialis sort of helped but he only gets 4 pills per prescription so its not like we could suddenly have sex all the time.in fact we've been having sex quite infrequently because of that and somehow along the way i just couldn't face having sex anymore.the idea of it petrifies me.i guess i associate it with fear, tears and heartache for both of us.i feel completely inadequate and i i hate him seeing me naked or even partly unclothed, i feel like i must be sexually repulsive to him (ive only felt like this suddenly)...and im in this viscious (sorry spelt wrong i know) cycle where the longer we dont have sex the more scared i am that he's going to leave me for someone who will put out and then i get even more anxious about sex.

i feel even worse because i keep trying to instigate sex and then i bottle out at the last minute and i just feel like such a prick tease, im worried hes going to start think im doing it deliberately.

i really dont know how to 'snap' myself out of it.no one knows about our sexual problems so i can only speak to him and he's reassuring but i don't think its a big turn on for him having me whinging about how unsexy i feel all the time.i dont want to be a broken record.i feel (maybe wrongly) that this is something i need to sort out myself, without him, but i really dont know how to.

Former Member

well it sounds that both of you have problems related to stress, as you have already mentioned his "impotence" is psychological and yours definately is, i think that the lack of sexual intercourse has made you afraid of it, as you say you are afraid of heartbreak etc, well you both understand the problems so if you take it slowly it shoukd be easier, as for you feeling unsexy, its a common female occurance, and can take a lot to overcome, so, have a long hot bath candles etc around, by some new underwear and get yourself pampered, make sure your other half has got is viagra around and get some sexy music on, hopefully you should feel alot sexier, and as opposed to talking about it first try and physically overcome it and dont think about it, if it doesnt help then talk about it! good luck!

Former Member

thanks sexy welsh babe, ive been browsing figleaves.com already ...if only underwear was cheaper.im gonna have a go at what you said- think less and well,um act more!