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I don't know...
BillieTheBot
Posts: 8,721 Bot
Life is certainly better for me than it was one year ago. I'm now working, I've been in a relationship, (and may end up back in one soon the way things are) and I'm generally happier. Yet at the moment, I feel that I'm even lonelier than ever. I just don't get it. I mean, I'm finally getting out of the house, I'm meeting people... but I still feel lonely. Does anyone understand that?
:banghead:
:banghead:
Beep boop. I'm a bot.
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Loneliness is more of a state of mind than anything else, really. And learning to like your own company is the hardest lesson of all.
I've got a full-time job which I enjoy & all the people in my deparment I know & get along with great. I'm also in a long term relationship with the love of my life.
BUT like you i'm still not totally happy & I can't think as to a reason why
One of my great burning passions in life is cars & i've now held my full lisence for just over a year now but i'm yet to own a car due to 'the right one' not popping up for sale locally:( Having my own car may just extract the happiness from my life.
POssessions rarely do, tbh.
Some people are solitary creatures, or at least a large part of their character enjoys solitude. I think maybe this is you, and you're trying too hard to push for the 'all-out sociable' attitude. I might be wrong, but as Kermit says, the best thing you'll ever learn is how to enjoy your own company. I once read an article about the different types of loneliness, that of our basic human makeup (where that "loneliness is the human condition" stuff comes from) and the loneliness that is a result of anxiety or fear of not being social, integrated etc. I think maybe at one point you suffered through both types, and now the only loneliness or emptiness you feel is natural...the same way that we all feel sometimes. It's a rare person who will always feel fulfilled and completely happy, all throughout their life, and maybe you just need to accept that rather than pondering it all the time. I know this sounds a bit harshly-worded, I don't mean it in a mean-spirited way at all, I just want you to know how normal the way you feel is, and that I think sometimes you think these feelings and experiences are unique to you. So many people are in the same boat
As for this argument about your girlfriend/lover reading these posts, you're laying her past open to public debate and it's inevitable that people are going to say things you and/or she won't like. It's not pleasant, but it's probably why most people don't detail these things on here, some people will flame/argue/bitch about anything sadly.
There are people who think a hell of a lot more than others, and I know they're often being told to "think less, do more" as you said. But thinking things through and over is no bad thing as long as it's being done with the attitude of "look how far I've come", "look where I'm going to next". Your past will always be there to remind you of what you've changed so far, but your future is where the further advances are going to be...focus your energy (and brainpower) there, as much as you can
One guy I almost stopped being able to have children. Whenever he sees me now he says "you're not gonna kick me in the nuts are you?" before he comes within 5 feet of me :cool:.