Can anyone give me some advice?

Former Member

Help required

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I have recently split from my pregnant girlfriend. She lives 100 miles away from me, and to say the least it has been difficult. We are currently arguing over access to the child and maintenance etc. I have insisted on having a paternity test, as I am still not 100% sure that there wasn't someone else involved.

My ex has said that her soilictor has told her that I wouldn't be allowed to have the child come and stay with me until it is at least 2 years old - is there any truth in this - we had originally agreed that the child could stay with me after 6-12 months, but she is now blackmailing me and saying that if I insist on the pat test that I will have to take her to court to gain access. Are there any hard and fast rules concerning this?

K
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ManicKev

Former Member

my bf is having the same problems. not alot u can do, except go to court. you also cant do a PT test until the baby is 4 months old and it can take awhile for it to come to court. unless you are seeing the baby a couple of times a week you will probably find it hard to cope with the baby at yours, as he/she wont necessarily recognise you unless you are seeing him/her often - which makes for an unsettled baby in an unfamiliar environment, whereas if you wait until its older it will be easier to form a relationship with it. it may be better for your child to see you and get to know you in the home environment.

Former Member

manickev

The Families Need Fathers website is worth a visit.

They also have a book you may find interesting.

Former Member

also... www.fathersfirst.co.uk

there is also some stuff on birth fathers rights and responsibilities on the sites sex and relationships bit.

Former Member

seek legal advice.
much more reliable and they will have dealt with similar situations and will hopefully offer you advice and sort it out for you so you get to see your child, providing it is yours!!

Former Member

if she says its not your child, then you wont be entitled to access if your not on the BC. The only way youll prove it is by a paternity test. If shes saying no to that, then I would assume that means there is something to hide.
Even if it meant that you had to go to court for access, im sure theyd grant you it, even if it was limited, which has got to be better than her keeping it so you dont know whether you are the father or not.

Former Member

the court can order a PT test, if she is taking you to court/CSA for money