Babies

Former Member

Dont know if this is the best board for this discussion. But anyway here goes.....

My husband and I have a 2 year old son. When we first got married we intended to have 2+ children, now I want to start actioning the plan my husband has decided he does want any more children. Our situation is slightly different from the conventional family as my husband stays at home with our son (a househusband!) and I work full time, mainly because I can earn significantly more than him. Also, I was ill with kidney infections, high blood pressure, Strep B, etc when I was pregnant before and was hospitalised for a few days, and made to stay in hospital for a week after the birth. But I've got through it and so has our son. I have also discussed adopting with him, but he does want to as it wouldnt be our own.

I really want to have another baby, but I'm not going to get pregnant on purpose just to get my way. How to I broach the subject so he'll actually fully discuss why he doesnt want another baby so I can fully understand??

Former Member

he's probably realised how hard it is to bring up children and its put him off a little bit. best i can advise is give him some space.

my personal opinion is that its a possibility that by putting him in the non- traditional role, you've scared him a bit. i have seen a similar problem quite a few times amongst my friends, the women stay at home looking after the children and the dads go to work,come back and do the fun stuff like stories, bath time, playtime etc whilst mum has to do the harder stuff like housework and looking after the kids. The dads often want more coz they don't realise exactly how hard it is and the mums are thinking " why the fuck would i want to make it harder work than it already is?".

i am not criticising you and i respect the fact that you are out doing the working thing, but it is possible that your husband is feeling trapped. 2year olds are really hard work on their best behaviour, let alone when they are being naughty, its possible he has been put off a little by the reality. maybe when your son starts attending nursery and your husband gets more time to himself he will change his mind - that is often when women come round to the idea of another one.

Former Member

I agree with nicebutdim to be honest. Hes the one looking after the child, so he needs to feel ready to take on another one. 2 years isnt that long a gap between children, tell him you definitely do want more children, but remember, he needs to feel ready too, as its him doing the donkey work.
I do know what you mean, id like another child too, but my husband isnt as keen, Ive told him I am having another one one day though, although im prepared to wait and have a long age gap.