Relationship on the rocks!!

Former Member

My partner and i have been seeing each other for a year now. I am pregnant at the moment but on the weekend I made a revelation to him..... in december, I had cheated on him with a male freind. I was in the wrong to have done it, there are absoloutely no excuses for my vile behaviour, but now that we have a child on the way I just want to sort things out and be happy! Anyone with any suggestions! He now does not trust me at all which I know would be expected but it is hard I feel he doesn't love me or the baby, it is his.

Former Member

Well im sorry but you're the one who cheated on him in the first place, then hid it from him from december up until now so what do you expect. to be honest i'd say you're lucky hes even still with you and no doubt if you werent pregnant he'd be out the door (well, i would).
There isnt anything you can do and he probably won't trust you completely ever again, all you can do is beg forgiveness and try and move on. don't expect him to see things your way though he just has to deal with it himself.

Former Member

give him some time to get his head around it. its understandable though that he feels his trust in you has been broken. but its out in the open now, there isn't really much you can do since the deed has been done, but you can make sure you are completly honest and open about your feelings for him adn he knows how much he means to you. and how much you want your relationship to work.

Former Member

It is always really hard to make a relationship work once it's become known you've cheated on them, if it can work at all. I would just comfort him and make it clear through my actions and words that I only love him and make sure to tend to his needs as much as possbile and try to get him as active as possbile in the baby in order to bring about only happy, joyous feelings.

Former Member

I just wish it didn't happen. Like I said I know it is my fault I have told him everything and why, he is changing the whys which involved him and i am paying the price!

Former Member

trinity20 wrote:

I just wish it didn't happen. Like I said I know it is my fault I have told him everything and why, he is changing the whys which involved him and i am paying the price!

...... well, unfortunatly you cannot change the past and its just something you are going to have to live with. both of you will need to trust each other and work on your relationship if its all to work out well.

Former Member

I think its the end, all we have done is argue constantly over and over about the same things and things are getting violent on both parts! We had a massive fight and we live together, well did! We need to put our baby first so I guess its best to call it a day! :crying:

Former Member

Why did you tell him? Surely you realised there would be more than a large chance he wouldn't forgive you?

Former Member

Because I felt alot of guilt from it. I just had to let him know because we were having problems and decided to sit down, admit everything we should and start again but it went the opposite. We have had problems for a while, I guess whether I made the admission or not we were doomed! I am trying to work at it, he still loves me and misses the good times and doesn't want to spend his life without me but is it enough??

Former Member

Women will be women and men will be men!!!

Well i dont know why say they love you and want to be with you but cheat on you at the end.I know its a mistake you did and could happend to anybody else but he didnt ask if u cheated on him or not. You just went to tell him, if you were faithful you wouldnt have cheated at the first place anyway. Well i think the only reason why you told him was because you were pregnant and using it a sort of security for the relationship.
There is a saying that what you dont know will not hurt you and now that he knows he is very hurt......

Former Member

I did admit it due to the fact that i was pregnant, we were also getting married and I felt that to have an honest marraige all must be known. I no longer wish to marry, but he does and says if I don't want to get married he won't be with me. Alot of people have let me down and now through fear of being let down i am letting the one I love down badly. He doesn't mention what i did but I know he hurts. One minute we get on great and the next its awful, fighting! He loves me I know that but i have barely seen him lately because I feel he should do better! He is/was moving in friday so i'm a bit worried. We did split up for a bit but he kept crying down the phone and I don't like to see him hurt although I caused it!