confused and hurt!

Former Member

Hey, im hopin sum1 can help me out here-im in an awful situation..
I just split with my boyfriend of 2 years.It hurts like hell and its only been three hours
I split with him because he has no respect for me at all. Before he called me a stupid cow and told me to fuck off before slamming the phone down..he said he did this because he thought i was going to "give him shit". I can see why he thaought this but still no need for that! is there?
He always swears at me..it upsets me a lot and i cant keep putting up with it. He never wants to have sex either.ever.
This is awful because i still love him.so much.i miss him already. Hes changed so much since i came to uni in september. Before that we spent every day togrther. Ive been home every weekend to see him since i came here.
We spoke on the phone earlier when we argued and he sais he has no sympathy for me as i finished it. He didnt sound upset at all..I was hysterical.
what can i do? :crying: :banghead: xx

Former Member

What was the thing that made you finally do it?

Former Member

It was the fact that i cant keep putting up with it. Ive done it loads of times, but ive always sorted it out cos i cant bear to be alone. Do other lads speak to their girlfriends like that? Hes not all bad-he cuddles me a lot and pays me loads of attention. He insists he still loves me. He says it all the time and sends me random texts telling me. He insists that im getting all this from nowhere..I'm not sure. He keeps telling me that im wierd and its all my fault.. :rolleyes:

Former Member

>hug<
I think you are very brave to do what you've done. I have to ask tho..is he at uni? Other lads DO NOT speak to their girlfriends like that unless they have some major issues.

Former Member

Sounds like you're better off without him. Obviously we don't know all the facts but if he loved you he wouldn't treat you like a sack of shit and expect you to take it.

Former Member

to be honest you're better off without him. you deserve respect, not someone who treats you like you say he treated you. it might hurt a lot now, but in the future you'll realise that you made the right decision. chin up.

Former Member

No, he's not at uni. Hes still at home. It hurts so so much. Its the fact that hes still saying he loves me. I dont get why hes saying that if he doesnt. N hes nice to me a lot of the time, he confuses me! :banghead:

Former Member

Ok, he's at home with the same people, doing the same thing, nothing new. You've got all this brave new world thing going on and he is jealous. So he's mean. It's nothing to do with you. It's all about he's own stuff and he will take it out on you because he alway has. Leave him to the small world.
Take this experience, grow and be a stronger cooler more amazing person for it. It's gonna REALLY hurt for a while but this is a relationship to leave behind.

Former Member

x emsy x wrote:

N hes nice to me a lot of the time, he confuses me!

he should be nice all of the time though really. okay so it's impossible to be nice all of the time but it sounds like he's really upset you.

Former Member

scytherchick wrote:

Sounds like you're better off without him. Obviously we don't know all the facts but if he loved you he wouldn't treat you like a sack of shit and expect you to take it.

thats what i was gonna say.......
i dont blame you for leaving him, and good on you for finally putting your foot down. You'll find someone who actually deserves your love in time....

Former Member

He's just texted me and said that everything before was a waste of time..he said that he doesn't think that i really wanted it to be over and that he has spent the last few months trying to make me happy.He said everytime we have an argument i say hes a bad person.He didnt give me much of a chance to reply before he phoned me and asked why im not replying...he said that he doesnt want it to be over, and never once said he'd change..the conversation ended wierdly. im so so confused by him..

Does your boyfriend swear at u? and do u ever think of ending it with him?
He isnt like this all the time..just occasionally.

Former Member

dont fall for it.....he'll keep taking his moods out on you then come crawling back. And i'm not saying he will...but he might get physical if you let it carry on. Keep strong....you obviously sound very upset by him, and if he's making you miserable, then i think its best if you call it quits. It'll probably be for the best in the long run.

Former Member

Hes messin my head up so badly. He just thinks that ths is a joke obviously..he just sent me another text sayin "will you please be my baby? xxx" i dont know why hes doing this.I was hysterical on the phone..i know weve split up soooo many times 4 a day at the most, but ive never been that upset b4..i havent replied. i genuinely dont know what to say... :banghead:
Hes not like most lads. Hes sweet a lot of the time. Ive got so many cards off him that hes just given me for no reason, he genuinewly doesnt look at other girls(wierd i know), he tells me he loves me all the time, he phones me a lot. always b4 he goes to bed and in the morning. Its not all bad..do all lads do these things?
He just sent me another one saying "no, THEN?" i dont know what to say? what should i say to him?

Former Member

x emsy x wrote:

Hes messin my head up so badly. He just thinks that ths is a joke obviously..he just sent me another text sayin "will you please be my baby? xxx" i dont know why hes doing this.I was hysterical on the phone..i know weve split up soooo many times 4 a day at the most, but ive never been that upset b4..i havent replied. i genuinely dont know what to say... :banghead:
Hes not like most lads. Hes sweet a lot of the time. Ive got so many cards off him that hes just given me for no reason, he genuinewly doesnt look at other girls(wierd i know), he tells me he loves me all the time, he phones me a lot. always b4 he goes to bed and in the morning. Its not all bad..do all lads do these things?
He just sent me another one saying "no, THEN?" i dont know what to say? what should i say to him?

if you wanted him that badly, would you have split up with him in the first place? and would you even have to consider getting back with him?

Former Member

no, i still want him..but i cant keep letting him take the piss. do other lads do all those sweet things? i just dont know. i wish he could just say something that would make it all better again.. in the past hes said hell have more respect for me but nothing changes. do u think its worth finishing over, because he swears at me? he says im bein petty..???????????

Former Member

Well, if he swears at you etc it doesn't sound like he has much respect for you. A person won't change just because they say they won't do something again, they have to work to prove it. By what you're saying about his moods, it sounds like he has some unresolved issues himself, and his frustration seems to be venting out on to you. Even so, it's not fair for someone to do that, even if they don't realise it. It doesn't form the basis for a solid stable relationship.

It sounds as if you need some time to yourself. It might be a good idea to put your foot down and say that contact should be kept to a minimum so you can both have some time apart and find out what you want.

There are some good articles on dealing with the single life . Best of luck

Former Member

Hey hunny
i went through i really bad patch with my boyf last year (we had been together 2 years). I felt that he didnt respect me, he would speak 2 me like shit most of the time and basically show off in front of his freinds. It came to the point (after endless arguments and so many tears) to break up. He pleaded with me to get back with him so i did and it happened again and again and nothing changed. I hate myself for going back to him to take more shit-i dont know if it was a good idea to keep going back-because it did make me realise that i could do better!!I wish i had just been strong enough to walk away at the beginning. Yeah it does sound like a petty thing to get upset over-but if it really is upsetting you then why should you take it, when there will be someone else out there who wont treat you like that.
Its your decision-hope you make the right one!x