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coping with bullying

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
edited March 27 in Work & Study
sorry to ask the question... but
how do you deal with being bullied?
Post edited by JustV on

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I'm sorry. I've never been bullied but I know people who have been and it's hell.
    The only advice I can give is don't suffer in silence and tell someone - teacher/friend/parent/phone line/lecturer/relative - someone you trust. Are you at uni? Is it you being bullied? Sorry to ask questions.

    x
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When i was bullied... how did i cope?? Mostly i cried. I felt very ashamed, like i was being bullied because people didn't like me, so i didn't tell anyone. I'd lock myself away, eat on my own, cry myself to sleep. Not very helpful yet? Writing also helped, i'd write poetry or i'd write in my diary. It was a hellish existence, my full sympathies to anyone who is being bullied! My greatest advice though is to tell someone! Its at its worst when you keep it to yourself!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if its ongoing bitching...karate won't help much. my sympathies to you otter if it's you, it's horrible to go through. its one of the reasons i come here so much.... :banghead:

    one day i will be better thAN them though...and i have a bigger heart.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i'm not being funny but you can't say "karate won't help much" because in my case (and i was bullied for 4 years) it gave me the confidence to stand up for myself and when they set upon me physically, i could defend myself in most cases. and it helped stop the bullying because i stood up for myself.

    i had to in the end. it was a choice, let these people make my life a misery, or confrint it head on.

    OK point taken. tbh i was thinking more along the lines of more subtle, but never-the-less hurtful type of bullying that you don't expect to be an issue as an adult. hey ho.
    Well done to you PF.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Most of the bullying i sufferd was verbal. You know the saying, sticks and stones may break my bones, but words will never hurt me? Its a load of bull shit. Words hurt much more. I internalised them, lost all my self confidence, thought i wasn't good enough to be liked. Verbal bullying is the most subtle, the bruises don't show, because theyre on the inside! I'm a much stronger person now, i only wish i could go back in time as i am now and stand up for myself. I would even risk a scrap in the play ground to end the years of torment at the hands of bullys!

    The 7th level of Hell is reserved for bullies.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I think verbal bullying is worse. With girl especially they can get so catty and bitchy - and there is no end to it. Its hard to stop that kinda of bullying as well because for a start less people notice it immediately and it's harder to avoid - especially if it's a big crowd. Bullie only pick on people they think are weaker - unfortunately it's a vicious cycle as the more they bully the weaker you become. I think PF idea was good - but not just Karate, anything that gives you confidence - or even helps you to meet new people might help.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    wen i got bullied i used to cry and pray it wud stop. i wud skyve school to avoid it.. it never stopt till i left my primary school and went to secondery school. but then another girl started on me :banghead: but she left :hyper: it was horriable but i regret not telling anyone as it would have helped me.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I basically tried to stay away from the people who bullied me as much as I possibly could. Learnt not tell the teachers, because they'd do nothing - they said they'd sort it but never did. The most they ever did was talk to me, the girl who was bullying me and her boyfriend. Of course, that helped because they said they were messing around and it got out of hand, whcih is fair enough and then it all stopped
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    JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    When I was I used to retaliate with violence, which wasn't paticularly good.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    sorry if this brought up any painful memories for anyone.
    but what should you do if there is no way that you can tell anyone, to get some help to make it stop?
    it's really complicated, and i don't want to give too much away on here. but any advice would be helpful. thanks.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The psychology of bullying is quite simple -- appear weak and throw out the consent of being attacked. It mainly has to do with self-confidence (70%) and how much you can back that up ie Toughness --Martial Arts (30%). I think with a change in attitude and martial arts, there is virtually no way anyone should pick on you. Trust me, I work on the NBL martial arts circuit, these kids used to get beat up all the damn time, and now their bodies are well sculpted and they can beat the shit out of anybody except for me (since they do sparring and not street). But before that maybe counseling to get you on the right track.
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