I need to know so I can move on

Former Member

I probably haven't got a chance in hell...but I've totally fallen for a girl i met online. We've met once and we chat on the phone every now and then. I always feel like we connect and get on really well and I'd like to think we're pretty close. It's probably a bit ott but I've totally fallen in love with her. I've told her a how I felt a few times and while she has said a couple of times that she likes me as more than a friend, most of the time she just says 'awwww' when I tell her how I feel. We always seem to flirt a lot online, give each other virtual hugs and kisses etc but I don't think she takes it as seriously as I do. A couple of nights ago I was telling her again how I felt and she asked if I was being serious or just joking about. I told her I was serious and she was suprised and said that she always thought I was joking but giving a slight incling (SP?) that I liked her.

But it's getting to the point where I can't stop thinking about her, I cry a lot over her and I'd do anything to go out with her. But she already has a boyfriend, she lives about a hundred miles away and she's a lot younger than I am. I know deep down she deserves someone closer to her and someone younger than her. I know all these odds are against me but I want to make her so happy. It'd be a huge thing to try and make it work but I really want to give it a shot because I care so much about her and I swear I've never fallen this badly for someone before.

So what do I do? I could just say she has a boyfriend so just leave it. But I just really feel like we could have something so special and I'd hate to think I never gave it a chance because she was involved with someone else at the time. I know I should probably just leave it if she's taken but I just feel like we have something and I need to know, y'know? I need to know if she wants us to be more than friends because I can't do this anymore. Everytime I think I've gotten over her we end up getting close again and it just tears me apart again. I just need to know so if she doesn't want to be with me I can just move on and get over her without wondering 'maybe she did and I should have just asked her'. I guess the other night with her being shocked that I was totally serious made me realise that that maybe it isn't all black and white and that she doesn't know how serious I am. So I'm thinking I should just ask her out so I know once and for all.

Former Member

I think you may discover that she probably finds you very sweet, is playful online with you and this is misleading for you, because, well if you've expressed your feelings to her, she might have felt uncomfortable or she's one of those people (I'm the same) who either doesn't wanna hurt your feelings or is flattered by the attention that is coming from someone other than her boyfriend - and that's giving her a bit of a confidence boost - and that maybe why she said 'Awww'...because if she don't feel the same yet she's not a 'wtf...I have a bf shuttup!' person then she might just brush it off but...pretending she finds it sweet?

I don't know, because all that sounds harsh above and I can't really tell what she's like or anything. Do you know how she feels about her bf? I don't think you should ask her out as she is in a relationship, and for other reasons you've listed, their are problems in your paths that'll make it hard to physically have a relationship. I also feel that, due to her sort of reactions and her relationship situation...she's not at home day dreaming continuously about you, or feeling for you to the extent that you feel for her. It sounds like you have of those seemingly unbearable crushes and it might be best to try and take a break in the way of contacting her, or just not expressing openly your feelings about her or going along with the flirtacious convo's. Sending 'hugs' is something I do to all my friends alike,and kisses as well, they don't hold anything more then just an innoccent peck when I send them...so maybe you're reading too far into them.

Malt xxx

Former Member

Shes online, has a boyfriend and lives 100 miles away? Give it up and find someone closer! I flirt all the time on the net (mostly with girls), but if they started phoning me up, telling me they loved me, i'd be a little freaked out!

Former Member

Thank you, you're both absolutely right. That's what I needed to hear. If you could just kick me in the bollocks and tell me to grow up I'll be on my way, lol.

Former Member

A bit much too quick? If someone I'd met once told me they loved me I couldn't run fast enough.

Former Member

sometimes u can care about a person so so much and do anything for them.... but if they dont feel the same it doesnt do u much good u know wat i mean? esp since this girl has a bf already and i guess she wouldnt be with him if she didnt love him right?