in love with tutor -- HELP!!!

Former Member

i know this must sound weird but now that the easter break has started ive realised that i MISS one of my lecturers -- think i'm totally in love AARGH! dont worry tho, he's not old and stuffy but young and very fit has anyone else ever experienced this? what do i do???? sarah x

Former Member

Sounds like a crush, you can't really know this person, just his personality as he teaches.

Former Member

firstly.. this should be in R'ship right?

secondly.. well all you can do is ignore it tbh, you can act on it as.. well it's wrong and you'd both get into trouble.. may i ask how old you are?

Former Member

sorry hellfire am new on this site so have not seen all boards... oh and i'm 19.

Former Member

although you can fancy him... you can't really be totally in love with him.
i think you'll find most people at some point have a crush on one of their teachers. what is it that you like about him, besides "young and fit"?

Former Member

My friend is going through the exact same right now, she is 18 and leaving in a few months so she has set her heart on telling him then cause in theory it would be legal. It is very unlikely tht anything will happen but all i can do is support her and be there 4 her if she gets hurt. Id hate to see her make a fool of herself but she wont listen so all i can do is be as supportive as possible.
Basically wat im saying is tht it is very unlikely anything will happen so try and forget him and move on, talk to a supportive friend who can help u through it. Hope this helps!

Former Member

tx all for ur advice. becky, gr8 to hear i'm not alone, was beginnin 2 think im a freak :-)

the reason why i fancy him so much is not just that he's fit but also as satehen says his personality as he teaches and also outside class. i didnt even take a course with him in the lent term but still ran into him on corridors etc. he just seems very friendly but at the same time is really funny sometimes in a devious kinda way, which i find really attractivve. it's really hard for me now to go clubbin and be chatted up by guys my own age as they seem so childish and have no style. ok maybe some do but u know what i mean lol.

guess u r all right and it would be illegal if i tried somethin. so i can see why i shud move on but still i'm lookin forward to revision seminars, hah how bad am i! let me know what happens with ur friend becky :-)

Former Member

Ah, this reminds me why I considered teaching.

No, not really!

Your teacher won't be allowed to respond positively to any advances you make towards him. I note that you've said you find boys your own age immature. Perhaps you should consider how this tutor will fell about girls 10-15 years his junior? Of course he might want to have sex with you, but it's the cardinal sin of teaching to do so and making a relationship out of such a situation is more or less impossible.

Former Member

Hmmm, :chin: *considers a career in being a Uni lecturer*

I just think you want someone more mature, and with responsibilites, yet still having a playful fun side.
Sounds like a bit of a crush. S'pose you've heard it all before, but you'll meet someone, and soon forget about him, etc etc etc.

Former Member

This reminds me of the time my A Level history teacher asked me out on a date... :chin:

Former Member

1066?

Former Member

so what did you say satehen when your teacher asked you out? i'm curious to know, but my case is different tho as im not underage as you mustve been plus its me wanting him not the other way around (well who knows )

i guess i may be a bit young for his taste but maybe he likes that ? now i almost hope i wont have the courage to tell him cos if he only wanted to have sex i would probably still go for it

what a long holiday this is turnin out to be :sour:

Former Member

sultrysarah86 wrote:

so what did you say satehen when your teacher asked you out? i'm curious to know, but my case is different tho as im not underage as you mustve been plus its me wanting him not the other way around (well who knows )

i guess i may be a bit young for his taste but maybe he likes that ? now i almost hope i wont have the courage to tell him cos if he only wanted to have sex i would probably still go for it

what a long holiday this is turnin out to be :sour:

PML @ 1066... I cocked it up and probably for the best! I was 17 at the time and that day i was on a 24 hour fast. We'd just finished the A-Level lesson, but do due low demand i was the only student! He asked me if i wanted to have dinner with him. I replied i can't i'm on a fast! :banghead: It wasn't untill afterwards i understood what he meant!!

Former Member

satehen wrote:

This reminds me of the time my A Level history teacher asked me out on a date... :chin:

Would you have said yes, if you weren't on a fast then..?

Mustv'e been pretty awkward...

Former Member

mystifymysoul wrote:

Would you have said yes, if you weren't on a fast then..?

Mustv'e been pretty awkward...

Oh yes! I'd fancied him for ages!

Former Member

:eek: @ this whole thread!

Ignore it till it goes away is my advice, or years from now you'll look back and cringe.

Former Member

is he single??
technically hes not allowed to go out with u..
but if you say hes young and fit then wtf?

:thumb:

Former Member

Hehe! I know exactly how you lot feel, I had a huge crush on one of my ex history lecturers (I graduated last year), was all quite amusing really. The nice thing about having crushes when you're passed being a teenager with hormones whizzing all around is that you realise how insignificant it all is: I have a boyfriend on whom I'd never dream of cheating and am in London, and the lecturer is oop north so nothing would happen in a million years and that's cool. It did mean though I was smug as hell when I went out for drinks and dinner with him after my last exams - it was purely platonic, but hey, I could indulge in my fantasies....

I might be going to a conference he's arranging in May :hyper:

Former Member

i dunno if he's single. he doesnt wear a ring and never talks about his girlfriend. however its hard to believe he doesnt have one. ive tried to see whether he might be interested and avaliable by drawing on course evaluations etc but no response. of course those things are anonymous anyway but i thought maybe he would make a cheeky joke about it in class

neway its nice to see there are more girls here who have been in this situation! meryn you say you wouldnt cheat on your bf but if youre coming up for that conference are you completely sure :chin:

and satehen what a loss, do you still see him sometimes?

Former Member

Yes, of course I'm bloody sure! I wanna go to the conference because I'm geeky like that and it sounds interesting, having a drinking session with my old tutor (and other socialist historian nuts) afterwards will just be icing on the cake: he's a good laugh, regardless of whether I have a thing for him or not. And I'm not sure if it's actually going to happen anyway, as even if I get the train ticket now it will cost me £55 for a return to Manchester and then there's accommodation to think about (it's a 2 day thing). Unless I can arrange funding somehow, it's an awful lot for a wee bit of escapism from my impending public policy exams

And, Sultrysarah, surely cheating on my bf would also involve the tutor wanting something to happen. Can't quite see it somehow....I'm not that ultra confident about my seduction skills!

Anyway, I'd never actually *tell* the tutor that I like him, faaar too embarrassing and schoolgirlish :no:.

As I said, all pure fantasy, as unobtainable as the girlies my boyfriend likes on TV and that's where it should stay.

More seriously though, it's completely pointless for you to be chasing a lecturer while you're still his student - you both could land into shitloads of trouble if it ever came to anything and it came out. He could lose his job and you could lose your degree. It's not worth it

Former Member

hey you never know...it happened on "friends", and we all knwo THATS true-to-life