Advice on social stuff please?

Former Member

Ok so I know I've posted a lot of crap on here but it's mainly because I have trouble with certain things... Well Ok, take it from the top.

I have a condition called dyspraxia, well really they call it a disability but I don't see myself as 'disabled' because I can work some jobs and because I don't like to believe that I'm unable to do anything, it just takes time. However one of the issues I have is socially... Which is hard to explain. It's hard to explain what I've tried to explain in other posts probably because of dyspraxia.

It's funny because I can sit back and discuss with a stranger gender role models, democracy in Ancient Greece or philosophy easier than I can answer the question "how do you feel" or "what did you do today" and starting up conversation is often hard because I can be shy unless I am performing a service.

See, I probably sound like a moron, or some kid who just wants attention but it's a bitch to explain...

Here's a link to help explain about social parts of dyspraxia.

Most people who meet me don't know I have dyspraxia because it doesn't show but I feel I come across as rude when I'm being quiet or not joining in the conversation and sometimes, well more often than not I act like I'm thick because people hate me for thinking outside the box and they won't like me if I talk to them...

It's pissing me off... My IQ falls is in the top two percent of the population (I found out when I got diagnosed) but people think I'm stupid and nobody gives me the chance to be anybody. :crying: My friends often ignore me because I don't know when to speak and I don't feel like people take me seriously. I'm finding it hard fitting in in work because I can't find myself interested in the same things as other people...

And I feel like I'll never get anywhere because people just... Well I don't know. I think because I've been stabbed in the back so many times I fell back in to my shell... Or maybe I'm just one of those people with nothing to offer the world.

See I can't explain things because I'm emotionally dumb. It's like... well does anybody here maybe have some advice. The only thing I'm good with is understanding people and listening... It's just when it comes to myself I have trouble.

Former Member

How about theapry? Is your disorder something that can be treated or cured?

Former Member

Mushy24 wrote:

How about theapry? Is your disorder something that can be treated or cured?

No, it's not a disorder, it's a condition. My mental health is pretty good now, but it's a collection of symptons affecting areas of my brain. Imagine dyslexia in the brain, like thoughts and stuff... It's not so severe as I need therapy but maybe I sould contact a dyspraxia foundation and ask.

Former Member

I know several people with dyspraxia, one of which happens to be a good friend of mine. While they're not always the most fun at the part, they're always cool to be around.

From what I understand of the condition, it's similar to dyslexia, in that just about every case is different.

While you may feel that things ae stacked against you at the moment, they will become easier. 10 years ago nobody knew about dyslexia. Currently dyspraxia is still relativley unknown, but I'll wager that in a few years time then people will be much more aware of it.

In the mean time, if you do want "help", can I suggest contacting the samaritans? I realise that you said you have trouble expressing yourself, but you may find that the more you talk, the more you'll be able to talk. If not, they maybe able to point you in the direction of futher or better assistance.

Happy sailing.

Former Member

Mushy24 wrote:

How about theapry? Is your disorder something that can be treated or cured?

:rolleyes: it's not something you can get rid of, nor, in my opinion, is it a bad condition to have. People are generally smarter if they have dyspraxia.

MoonRat you didn't by any chance write a book did you?

Former Member

Silverberg wrote:

:rolleyes: it's not something you can get rid of, nor, in my opinion, is it a bad condition to have. People are generally smarter if they have dyspraxia.

MoonRat you didn't by any chance write a book did you?

I plan to... I wrote a book?

No... well I've had poetry & an essay published

I'm not a retard, I'm not depressed I don't need a fucking councillor. jesus if people aren't treating me like I'm a spastic they;'re treating me like I need a shoulder to cry on....#

I'm only asking for advice, it'd help me a bit.

Former Member

Sorry, over reacted... No, dyspraxia is nowhere as bad as say cerebral palsy or anything, but it still is annoying. I guess really posting things here asking for advice isn't going to get any as most people don't know what it is.

Zard... I don't believe dyspraxia makes you a boring person. And no I don't think the Samaritans can help... The best they can do is hmmm and ahhhhh, which is good for unloading stuff off your chest, but nowt else.

When I was diagnosed I started seeing learner support and when the woman first met me she was pretty condescending, like talked to me like I was a bit slow... It's annoying.

Former Member

From what i can tell you're awesome! You found a way to express your opinions and show your personality: this forum! Congrats for you! I'm no expert in dyspraxia but here's my advice in all social situations. When i know that i'm going to be in a social atmosphere..I tend to make a list of interesting topics to talk about. I don't always have something to say in response to other people's topics but i know i can always talk about something on my own. Also when other people talk..you don't have to talk to make yourself seem socialable. (don't think that's a word...) Just do what i do and look at the person who's talking in the eye, and nod and smile. These are things that i have to remind myself to do on a daily basis...

Indrid Cold

I can't say anything else than that I'm much of the same socially... I know it's no help at all, sorry.

Former Member

Myrisquelingerie wrote:

Just do what i do and look at the person who's talking in the eye, and nod and smile. These are things that i have to remind myself to do on a daily basis...

yeah I found reading a bit in to that helpful, however I often have to remember to look at people when talking, I mean it's hard to know how long to make eye contact for, but I guess maybe reading some body language stuff would be good

Former Member

-[MoonRat]- wrote:

yeah I found reading a bit in to that helpful, however I often have to remember to look at people when talking, I mean it's hard to know how long to make eye contact for, but I guess maybe reading some body language stuff would be good

:yes: You can learn a lot about somebody from their body language..like how they feel towards you, if they are interested in what you have to say etc. Just look at body language, and respond to it. For more info on body language search it on google, I'm sure there are zillions of helpful sites out there. But always bare in mind, body language can indicate some things, but you might read it wrong, so don't use it as the basis for everything. If that makes sense?

:thumb: Hope I helped, which I doubt I did :nervous: