I feel so bad what should I do?

Former Member

Hey guys now first off if you guys are just going to say how I'm a bad person or what not do even bother posting I need real advice here. So I've been going out with this girl for over 7 months now. Wow she is amazing I love her to death and everything. I can't believe how much I love her she is literally everything to me. See there is this problem though. I've only been out with two other girls before her and they don't really even count as gf's. So anyways the one I'm going out with now is the first girl I kissed, fooled around with had sex with and so on. But you see I feel like I should get out there and go out with some other girls because she's been out with like 50 guys and I've been out with 3. I would just feel kind of weird if I ended up with her for the rest of my life. Like not really but I mean I would always be thinking I wonder what other girls would be like. Now I'm not saying I'm a player or anything like that no dont get me wrong I just feel that in some way I'll have a little regret of never going out with anyone else. But I love her so much I'm not sure you guys probably think I'm retarded or something we'll see I don't know please give some input.

Former Member

hmmm, I felt a bit like this with my first proper bf. It was always a niggling feeling, and although the relationship lasted 3 years, I did eventually find I needed to experiment with other people. I must say in my relationship now, I dont feel that way. If youre not ready to settle down, then no amount of kidding yourself is going to work.

Former Member

Keep it simple dude, if you are happy, why look elsewhere? You may feel the desire to spread your wings sexually, but intimacy is what makes people happy. It makes for good sex as well

Don't think long term either, just keep things in the now.

That's my advice (for what it's worth and I'm in the same situation you are!)

Former Member

saabracer, i'm in a similar predicament. I'm absoluted in love with my fiance, i've never loved anyone as much. But i have just come to terms with the fact that i have bisexual feelings. Marrying my fiancee (us being in a monogomous relationship) means i will never experience sex with a woman. BUT i would give that up if it meant being with the man i love for the rest of my life! If you really do love her, you'll stay with her! You'll regret it all the more if you lose her cause you wanted to play the field. Anyway its only been months, don't you think its a bit early to be making plans that affect the rest of your life??

Former Member

I suppose but im only 18 so I dont know could I really have found the one person for me so early in life?

Former Member

I mean I would always be thinking I wonder what other girls would be like.

then don't bother with a serious relationship yet, if thats how you really feel.

but on the other hand, if you "love her so much" why would you want to play the field? - is it to see if anything better is coming your way? or to get more experienced in sex, perhaps?

ETS: think about your motives as to why?... then make a decision.

Former Member

Don't end your relationship with this girl just to feel you've lived a little. I think it is unlikely that you will be with her forever so you will have other opportuities, but if you did plan to spend the rest of your life with her I don't think you would be contemplating going off with other girls.

However, if you need to be sure, a 'break' is a wonderful thing (though have never tried it).

Former Member

SaabRacer97 wrote:

I suppose but im only 18 so I dont know could I really have found the one person for me so early in life?

You won't know yet, not till a good way down the line if it gets that far...

By thinking so early that you've found The One just puts yourself under pressure and all these thoughts of experimentation into your head that probably wouldn't even have crossed your mind if you weren't gazing so far into the future...just go with the flow, enjoy your time with this girlfriend, and a few years on, when/if you're thinking of settling down together, that's when you'll know if it's right or whether you want to fly away and grab your bit of freedom.

I'm also kinda in the same boat. I met my bf when I was 18, I'd only kissed one other guy before (and that was a class A mistake - no feelings or affection there! Just embarrasment ). So really, he is my first boyfriend, my first going-out-with-some-one -with-a-giddy-feeling-in-my stomach, the first time I've ever fallen in love. We've been together 4 years now, I'm living with him, we're hoping to get a house together when we can afford it, it's definitely the long haul - who knows, even kids and marriage one day. But sometimes I feel a bit funny about never having been out with anyone ever before, not even in one of those silly casual things. But when it comes to my lack of experience, although t he idea of kissing someone else might seem quite exciting, novelty value or whatever, I know I would never do it and jepardise my relationship, as I can't imagine finding anyone so great for me as my boyfriend. It's not worth it.

My bf is 3 years older than me and although he never had a really serious girlfriend before me (I was the first girl he slept with) he's had a few odd flings and dates and stuff. It's funny, I wanna ask him about his exs, ask how it was like from his end, what the break ups were like and things because I just don't know. Silly, eh?

Former Member

SaabRacer97 wrote:

I suppose but im only 18 so I dont know could I really have found the one person for me so early in life?

Not being mean or anything, but whose saying that you'd stay together forever anyway? When i was 17 i thought i'd found "the one", i lost my virginity to him and thought we'd be together forever. 3 years down the line we go our seperate ways! (mainly cause i dumped the luttle shit bag).

Former Member

Nobody can tell you what to do, it really is up to yourself.

During the first 6 months or so of dating, its quite normal to have strong feelings of love. The heart does flip flops whenever you see or hear from the person, you want to be with them 24/7 etc. Its a time for heated passions and questioning whether this person is "the one", however after this 6 months has passed most couples settle into a pattern, the heart doesn't pound quite so much, and the questions start such as: is this really the one?, what am I missing out on?. From what you've posted this may be the case. You say that you feel that you've missed out on sex with other girls, could this be a feeling of inadequecy in bed with the girl you are now with? if so why not ask her to show you what she's learnt. It could be fun, exciting and if nothing else you get a bit more experience to pass onto the next girl you go out with. If you both enjoy your new found learning experience, then you may be able to move on from your fears of inadequecy and enjoy a long time if not a life time with this girl.