insecure

Former Member

i could really do with some help. my fella told me last nite that im insecure

i dont want to be. but dont knowhw to solve it. can anyone help me? :crying:

Former Member

Erm...did he give you reasons why he thinks this?

See, I KNOW I'm insecure, but I'm trying to stop being. Tis difficult, and I can't really explain how I'm doing it, I don't know myself. I don't even know if it's working

Former Member

he said that i dont have any confidence and i dont feel safe ever and im basically simple explanation of insecure
i dont even know what it means properly

Former Member

You sound like me :thumb:, ok that's not good ...this may take some time. It took me quite a long time to get my confidence built up after I moved, and it was still quite fragile, and it got destroyed again, so now I'm back where I was before. There's no simple solution to it though, you have to help yourself really. Is there a reason why your confidence is low? For me it was because I didn't know anyone after I moved to Essex, and I got in with the wrong people, really.

Also, you seem quite shocked that he said that...do you feel that you have no confidence or any of the things he said? If you don't, the problem might be more how you come across to other people (I have that one too, but I can't tell you anything on how to solve that!).

Former Member

i didnt think i was unconfident im just like any other normal person ill talk to people i know and im abit more shy about talkin to people i dont know. i feel safe when im wit him
i feel safe at home.
i just dont understand

Former Member

That sounds pretty normal to me...he's talking out of his arse love. Well, there is a slight (very slight, not as big as he's making out) lack of confidence there, but I think that's natural. With me, I used to like...not talk to people if I'd never met them before, I found it really difficult to ring people that I didn't know (even like, companies and stuff). And I had issues with large groups of people (I still do). You aren't insecure.

It might be how he perceives you...ask him what it is that makes him think you have no confidence and that you're insecure. 'Cause I can't see it myself.

Former Member

i asked him i cant remember i was a blur realy i crid he spoke.
i want to talk to him about it more but i dont want argue and thats what hapens.
He says sumin i take it wrong then i say sumin he takes i wong. i love him wit al y hart dont wana looooooose him.

Former Member

Ok, calm down . I think you really do need to talk to him, there has to be a reason why he thinks you're insecure. If it ends up in an argument, then he's really not worth bothering with tbh. If you're saying things which get taken wrong all the time, then it seems there's a problem. Tell him you need to talk to him seriously, and tell him that you will have your say and not to interrupt until you're done. How long have you been together, and how old are you both?

If you don't want to lose him, then you have to do this, and you know it. Of course, it may be inevitable, in which case you can't do very much about it. Just don't go chasing after him and obsessing over him, I learnt that the hard way.

PM me if you need help or anything x

littlemissy

It is normal to be insecure every so often. Everyone gets it once in a while. You just can't let it take over your life.

You have to try and remember that your boyfriend is with you because he wants to be, no other reason. So that is something to try and remember whenever you start worrying.

You have to talk to him about this as you obviously don't think you are that insecure. Ask him why he thinks you are insecure. I know you don't really want to do this as it may end up in another argument but from the sounds of it this little accusation is starting to eat you up.

Confidence is a horrible thing. If you lack it it can make so many problems, however, if you have too much it normally makes you an idiot. There is a fine balance to be struck.

TBH it doesn't sound like you are insecure to me, it sounds like a naff, fly away comment that your boyfriend said. And that has got you thinking.

Former Member

franki chicken me and my fella are 19 and 20/21

i wanna talk to him about it but we spoke abou tit last nite. i know hes with me because he wants to be and we spoke about it and we are happy other then the fact hat only lately we been arguing. Its a distance thing.

Former Member

Ah...this makes more sense to me now! But you aren't insecure. You may be a little bit if there's a distance between you, but that's totally understandable tbh.

I wouldn't worry about it