Serious Talks!

Former Member

Okay seriously need your help because i am so scared!
Last night, me & my boyfriend had our first argument but we've only been together for a week so its not like we're serious but he's already getting jealous of me going out with my mates & he told me he loved me last nite! He's going too fast & i've told him we need a talk tonight!

Thing is, i've never had a serious talk in my life! I usually avoid having them because i'm so rubbish at dealing with them. But this cant be avoided really...

Does anyone have any tips or anything about my 'serious talk' tonight?? :nervous:

Former Member

*bexfizz* wrote:

we've only been together for a week so its not like we're serious but he's already getting jealous of me going out with my mates & he told me he loved me last nite!

!!! :eek: !!! the dudes a loser! lol
nobody can fall in love in a week, even if they think so its not love because you cant possibly know all that much about a person in one week.
i say dump him and get someone else as he'll be wanting kids and marriage by the end of this week and you'll be retired with a villa in spain by the end of march

Former Member

Explain to him that you feel like things are moving a bit too fast, that you do really like him but you don't feel like either of you know one another well enough yet to say that you are in love with one another. Explain to him that you really like spending time with him but that your friends are very important to you and that you aren't prepared to sacrifice your friendships, you like going out with friends and that is part of who you are and you can't be with someone who is going to try to change you, not respect that aspect of your life or make you feel bad about who you are.

If he can't accept these things then it really is up to you to make the decision as to whether you want to be with him or not, the way I see it you definitely don't want to stop going out with friends for someone who you've only been in a relationship with for one week, but just see how he responds and then its up to you.

Good luck :thumb:

Former Member

Fucking pie the desperado off love.
If he's losing it within a week think of what he'll be like in 6 months.

Sounds like a right dick to me. Fuck him off

Former Member

icey wrote:

!!! :eek: !!! the dudes a loser! lol
nobody can fall in love in a week, even if they think so its not love because you cant possibly know all that much about a person in one week.
i say dump him and get someone else as he'll be wanting kids and marriage by the end of this week and you'll be retired with a villa in spain by the end of march

I can't agree with that (not that you should care). I mean, what if a guy had fallen in love with her quite some time ago (for example 2-3 months ago)? He doesn't have to start loving her now, because he already does. That's just my opinion on this.

I fell in love with a girl, and told her that 8 months later. I was mad about her. We didn't get together, but if we had, should she have just dumped me because I "already loved" her after a week? I've loved her for 8 months before that!

Former Member

nmrmak wrote:

I can't agree with that (not that you should care). I mean, what if a guy had fallen in love with her quite some time ago (for example 2-3 months ago)? He doesn't have to start loving her now, because he already does. That's just my opinion on this.

I fell in love with a girl, and told her that 8 months later. I was mad about her. We didn't get together, but if we had, should she have just dumped me because I "already loved" her after a week? I've loved her for 8 months before that!

How can you love somebody before you really know anything about them? if you think its love after 1 week you're wrong - its just lust.
But then it might not even be lust, could just be that the guy is so desperate for someone to love him that with only the slightest of interest he's willing to throw his life into it. or then again he could just be telling you he loves you to get your guard down to sleep with you...one of the many tricks guys use to get girls into bed.

Former Member

i reckon icey has a point bout him tryin 2get u 2sleep wiv him..but nmrmak also has a GOOD point..how long have u known him? and where do u know him from? jealousy is sooooooo ugly though-u shud never put up with that..the worst thing i did was stop going out with my friends. i saw my boyf for a year and a half every day..not healthy.i am still with him now 2yrs on but when i came to uni it was really hard and he still hates me going out with my friends. u should tell him he has no reason to feel jealous.. mayb he's a little insecure? how old are u both?

Former Member

icey wrote:

How can you love somebody before you really know anything about them? if you think its love after 1 week you're wrong - its just lust.
But then it might not even be lust, could just be that the guy is so desperate for someone to love him that with only the slightest of interest he's willing to throw his life into it. or then again he could just be telling you he loves you to get your guard down to sleep with you...one of the many tricks guys use to get girls into bed.

Of course you can know the person even more than you should if you've been good friends for two years beforehand. So, it might be rare, but what I felt was really not lust. I knew her good sides, and her bad sides, and I accepted them. I knew her fully as a person. But you can achieve that in less than 2 years. So, why not? If you go out with someone intensively (as friends) over a period of about 6 months, and have those deep one on one conversations, where you pour your thoughts and emotions out to the other person, it's quite possible that you'll know the person very well.

Former Member

"nobody can fall in love in a week, even if they think so its not love because you cant possibly know all that much about a person in one week." True.
For serious talks, be honest, clear, and don't waffle off a point you're trying to make. Leave silences to let the other person absorb what you're saying. Give them time to speak as well.

Former Member

We have known each other for a month & he might've known me before we actually properly met cuz he's on the same course at Uni as my flatmate so he might've been around & seen me or something. I dont know!
I had the serious chat with him, and he said he was drunk so i've given him another chance & said that he has to accept that i want to go out & have fun with my friends too as well as him & i also said that him telling me he loved me really freaked me out!!
He doesnt seem like the type of guy to say i love you just to get me in bed!!

Anywayz, thankyou for all your comments

Former Member

did you have a serious talk?? If so how did you approach the topic? I'm quite a shy person and hate confrontation, however I need to have a serious talk with my boyfriend. We've been going out for 5 months and I have had problems at home as well as a few issues concerning him, but havent told him until i wrote a very lengthy letter to him as that is the way I can get my feelings across properly. The letter shocked him, has made him think a lot and is upset with himself and me. I tried all day today to try to bring it up but he has pretty much been avoiding me. We are both shy non-confrontational people but we need to have a talk about all this and the letter I wrote. How do I approach the subject and get the ball rolling?
Any help would be very much appreciated
Thanks

Former Member

I just txted him and said 'we need to talk about this' and he did try to get out of it but in the end gave in.
I asked him to come around to mine & i just told him how i felt!!

When it comes to sorting things out, you have to do it whether you want to or not or else nothing is going to change!