How do I get this guy?

Former Member

Well id really appreciate it if anyone could help me get less confused about this situation id be very happy.....there is this guy i have been talking to and hanging out with for the past 2-3 months and we recently kissed, held hands bla bla the usual.....i like him a lot and i told him that, he also said he likes me but the problem is he doesnt feel like going into a steady relationship at the moment and that kills me. he is not one of those guys who just bring girls home and have sex, etc....he hasnt done that for a long time now cos he doesnt want to. but he is single and very good looking which means he will be having fun around and that makes me very jelous even though he likes me....i know that if he really does like me he wouldnt do this (not like hes done it yet!...) but im into him so much and i really wish i could date him so i would be the only girl you know.....another thing is, we want the same out of a relationship, we want a partner that we can have as bf/gf but dont have to lets say call up everyday and meet up all the time and be really into the relationship......cos we are so alike and we dont feel like doing that......i would just need some opinions or help on how i would connvince him that we would have a good time dating.....

thanks
a. :nervous:

Former Member

Dont push it or keep on at him about it or it'll send him running. Chill out & play it cool around him, even though its really hard! Let your personality shine through and make him come after you. Men like the chase, so dont chase him.

Good luck!

Former Member

You'll learn a lot more about him by waiting to see what happens rather than trying to force a relationship he doesn't seem all that enthusiastic about. You might even find out something you don't like. Just a thought.

Former Member

I had this problem, if you try to hard you will push him away you just have to take it step by step. If its ment to be it will be.

Former Member

thanks for the advice. i didnt tell you guys at first but hes 20 and im 16. i know its an issue but here in iceland a lot of people date with that age difference. he told me he likes me but he also said that his friends will make fun of him if we go out because im so young. some friend of his has a sister this age. i just see that this probably cant work all because of the age difference....and its killing me because i like him so much. im very picky about guys so when i like one he is beyond perfect.

Former Member

Why not keep to the same pace as you already are and see what happens? Whats the point in rushing things. You know he likes you etc so you already 'have him'.

Former Member

iya girl i have the same problem almost I first saw my bf at a party but there was something about him - so i sat nex to him and talked and stuff..

From past experiences i think that lads/men whatever lol well they become alot more interested in you when you show interests in what they do ( like my bf draws brilliant pictures showed me new videos such as anmie ones that i had never seen before but showing that i actually did like them and letting him know this has made us closer aswel .. in a way as we share the same interests ) so do not try and change or anything to try and get him interested in you if it's meant to be it will deffinately happen.

Although i wouldn't be getting my hopes up as he sounds he isnt interested in a long-term relationship like some of us but if you are sure he's the one try going out places vary your dayz or enjoy a nice night in with him and your mates cuddling up this is soooo sweet! lol

good luck to you girl

Former Member

dancewithme wrote:

Well id really appreciate it if anyone could help me get less confused about this situation id be very happy.....there is this guy i have been talking to and hanging out with for the past 2-3 months and we recently kissed, held hands bla bla the usual.....i like him a lot and i told him that, he also said he likes me but the problem is he doesnt feel like going into a steady relationship at the moment and that kills me. he is not one of those guys who just bring girls home and have sex, etc....he hasnt done that for a long time now cos he doesnt want to. but he is single and very good looking which means he will be having fun around and that makes me very jelous even though he likes me....i know that if he really does like me he wouldnt do this (not like hes done it yet!...) but im into him so much and i really wish i could date him so i would be the only girl you know.....another thing is, we want the same out of a relationship, we want a partner that we can have as bf/gf but dont have to lets say call up everyday and meet up all the time and be really into the relationship......cos we are so alike and we dont feel like doing that......i would just need some opinions or help on how i would connvince him that we would have a good time dating.....

thanks

When I liked a girl I did anything to stay with her. When I didn't like her I avoided her. I think he is just not that into you. So keep looking. I wouldn't waste time if I was you with that guy, because he will dump you when he finds someone in his opinion better.

Former Member

hotblack wrote:

When I liked a girl I did anything to stay with her. When I didn't like her I avoided her. I think he is just not that into you. So keep looking. I wouldn't waste time if I was you with that guy, because he will dump you when he finds someone in his opinion better.

thanks for the advice but you are wrong. if any guy would not like a girl im sure he would not spend money or TIME on getting to know her and being with her. he even ditched his friends on his birthday just because i was alone. i was wondering if he might be using me, but i was wrong. we have been talking for too long and he has been really good. i know he likes me and its obvious, but he is just having a hard time deciding because of our age difference and also because he hasnt dated in a while....his last relationship was 8 months last year. he only dated 3 girls and he would not dump me if we dated if he found someone better because thats not the way he is, he doesnt look for anyone better. so im basically saying, if he were an asshole, he wouldnt waste this much time, care, conversation, etc. on me. :yes:

Former Member

KinkyBoots wrote:

Why not keep to the same pace as you already are and see what happens? Whats the point in rushing things. You know he likes you etc so you already 'have him'.

hi! yes you are right, its what im doing at the moment and its going perfectly.....he seems to be closer each day. im just taking things as they are and not rushing anything, he even said when we talked about dating : "all in good time". i know that means something haha!

Former Member

I think you should play it cool and wait for him to come to you. But obviously let him know you're interested. Worked for me

Former Member

I pretty much agree with the others here on this one.

Or you could get your self a ski mask and transit van and go from there.

Former Member

dancewithme wrote:

thanks for the advice but you are wrong. if any guy would not like a girl im sure he would not spend money or TIME on getting to know her and being with her. he even ditched his friends on his birthday just because i was alone. i was wondering if he might be using me, but i was wrong. we have been talking for too long and he has been really good. i know he likes me and its obvious, but he is just having a hard time deciding because of our age difference and also because he hasnt dated in a while....his last relationship was 8 months last year. he only dated 3 girls and he would not dump me if we dated if he found someone better because thats not the way he is, he doesnt look for anyone better. so im basically saying, if he were an asshole, he wouldnt waste this much time, care, conversation, etc. on me. :yes:

Who said anything about assholes? If he doesn't like you it doesn't mean he is an asshole. I have to form my opinion based on the information that you've provided and I'm a guy so I know how guys work. If the guy doesn't want a full relationship then he is either too young for one, or he doesn't like you. I'm sure you like him and you will try to defend him and say what a good lad he is and how he cares so much and he's so poetic, but then he dumps you and bang, he becomes an asshole to you. I'm 23 and I'm a guy and I've seen so many of exactly these things it's sad. When girls are easy to get guys DO lose interest.

Former Member

hotblack wrote:

Who said anything about assholes? If he doesn't like you it doesn't mean he is an asshole. I have to form my opinion based on the information that you've provided and I'm a guy so I know how guys work. If the guy doesn't want a full relationship then he is either too young for one, or he doesn't like you. I'm sure you like him and you will try to defend him and say what a good lad he is and how he cares so much and he's so poetic, but then he dumps you and bang, he becomes an asshole to you. I'm 23 and I'm a guy and I've seen so many of exactly these things it's sad. When girls are easy to get guys DO lose interest.

im not easy to get. it took him 3 months to just get me to kiss him. i didnt mean to diss you or anything im just saying that an asshole here is a guy who is a whore. i might be wrong but the shances are slim that he does not like me. im not defending him, im saying the truth or at least what i see now. we´ve talked and agreed we would hang out do things chill but not officially date and that might happen later. his ex treated him like shit.