Long distance relationships

Former Member

I'll set the scene:
My ex who is 17 years old is going out with a 14 year old girl. Her older brother is my ex's best mate. They have been going out for 6 months. He has just moved to Amercia to live as he is American and she is still living and going to school here. They are still together.

Right, I was talking to my ex the other night on msn and we were just generally chatting. He then bought up the convo of his girlfriend and how much he loves her and stuff. This still is abit of a sore point for me but I have got used to the fact they are going out but I don't like to be reminded of it, is that stupid? Anyway, he was going on about how much he misses her and then he was saying how her and her mum are going over to America (he lives with his aunty there) in the summer for a holiday with his mum and sister. He was saying how it's gonna be the best holiday ever and how he's gonna take them all to new york and shit. It sounded pretty good. He then said that she is the 'one'. This was weird for me as he once said that about me (We were together for almost a year and a half, broke up a year ago) and I was like "oh right ok" then he started saying how his girlfriend is eventually gonna live out there with him and their gonna have kids and have a happy life.

Now in reality, she still has over a year and a half left of school and will most probably go to college here, but I dont know that for sure. Even if she doesnt go to college here she cant move to America for another year and a half. They will each go on holidays to see each other but they will have to revolve around the school holidays and what not.

I have only recently started talking to my ex again, and he was my one and only boyfriend so he is still kinda special to me. I am happy for him that he is happy with his new girlfriend, but seriously will their relationship last in the real world? It's fair enough having dreams. It's hard enough living in the same country and having a long distance relationship, but they are however many thousands of miles apart. And she is only 14 years old. I just wanted your opinions on this. I don't know how to tell him that it may not work out the way he wants because it is gonna be so tough for them both. She is gonna grow up and realise that she doesn't have to stick with the same guy forever, she can have one in the same country who'll she'll see more often than a few times a year. Anyway, enough of me, cheers for any replies. xxx

Former Member

Sounds like he's trying to make you jealous.

And it seems unlikely to last if she's at such a young age. LDRs are difficult enough for adults, let alone children that are still establishing their identities.

I wouldn't tell him that either. You have to leave him to it, otherwise it'll seem like you're doing the "jealous ex" routine.

But that's my opinion .

Former Member

i must agree with the above. Just sounds like he's trying to make you jealous, which is pretty pathetic behaviour for someone who you broke up with a whole year ago. I'd just take what he says with a pinch of salt...it's highly unlikely that it'll work out. Again as above, don't say this outright.....just enjoy the smug satisfaction in your mind of "I told you so" in the not too distant future! lol

Former Member

I was in a long distance relationship for nearly a year, it ended about 3 weeks ago. U make so many plans but however much u have to look forward to u cant guarantee they'll ever happen. It was hard enough living in the same country when i only saw my boyfriend once a month or so. I cant see a LD relationship lasting if u live in seperate parts of the world, especially when she is 14.She wont spend her teenage life waiting around just so she can be with this ex of urs, she'll leave school & relalise that she has a life to live.
I have known of 2 over seas LD distance relationship to work out but 1stly these people are all over 30 and 2ndly they had to move here to make ot work out, at 14 u dont have that advantage, there's so much to do still before settling down.
I personally think that u should be there 4 ur ex, let him ramble on about all these future plans but whilst he does this think how lucky u r not to have these very hard commitments, u can feel free 2 go out and find that lucky man. Dont worry about ur ex, relaity will soon kick in babe
XxX

Former Member

Thanks guys. I just dont like listening to him ramble on about all these plans when I can see they just aint gonna happen, and I dont want him to be unhappy. I just wanna say "IT AINT GOING TO WORK. YOUR 17, SHES 14, YOU BOTH HAVE LIVES TO LEAD IN SEPERATE COUNTRIES AND ITS JUST NOT GONNA WORK!" but I cant, I just have to sit and listen. But yea el_dude, I already am looking forward to "I told you so" cos she's an evil bitch who I hate with a passion and I can't wait for them to split up! Ooohh I am so evil!

Former Member

Lol!! he's in cloud coo coo land atm!! And however hard it is for u 2 hear him tlk about another girl u have 2 relaise their relationship isnt as true as yours, u spent time with him, u talked to him in person. U can hardly say they r a couple when they never see each other - its silly! At least LD realtionships in this country means u get to see ur other half more regular than if u were in another country. Feel smug babe u should do!! hahaha! evilness! :thumb:
XxX

Former Member

Uhm I think a 17 year old going out with a 14 year old... isn't that pedophilia?