Home Drink & Drugs
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨

no better, no worse

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
for all those who remember and supported burnout girl, I'm glad she had you there.
Enough time has passed for me to try and accept what went down and where I went wrong.For a long time (will bear scars always). I was so devastated knowing that I was HATED beyond reason with no way to talk and recognise how my actions were interpreted and my intent (and assumtion) that my decisions could only be seen as logical ways to resolve problems.
My naiviety is/was outstanding.
Too much ego thinking I knew how to help another.
[I could go on endlessly- so won't)
All I felt about the drama unfolding between us was total horror.
Rage at myself. I had put myself in a situation where a person hating me had both desire and tools to upset my life hugely.
I'm going to outline my perception and maybe you can give your opinion.
Met nice girl through work. We hit it off and started friendship. Loved her honesty ie;former habits,, etc., and how happy she was clean. I felt safe talking of my own past on again off again blow use.
Ran into her and called her on being high. She was, and we ended up both partying and talking. Her main fear was the speed with which she could expect to become as addict.
We exchanged pledges then and later.
Mine to be a friend able to understand and respect . From her I asked not to be involved beyond a helpful friend.
I also set groundrules.
If I ever saw her in real danger, I would tell someone. I can't let somebody die for my silence. She agreed and liked the idea of a limit. I also wanted it kept out of my workplace entirely.
and so it went.
The end result was ugly. Her family found out when she was taken to the hospital in a bad way.
I visited offered to help by clearing the apartment. (never do that- it's really awful)
Hung out while she was at her mom's. movies, etc. Always felt the pressure of her wanting me to hook her up. I just couldn't.
I warned her mom to expect a relapse. When it came, it blamed me for everything.
I know my mistakes. I did give her a contact early on. I reasoned that if she was set on doing it, it should at least be clean.
And I did party with her 3 times.
She told alot of people that I was an addict and her supplier.
That's about it, except for only really having my name cleared whenit became obvious to everyone the problems she was having.
I'm not trying to slam her or justify myself, only make sense.
The last thing I saw of hers was about a heart attack, and I'm really sorry.
I wish her all the best and wish I had helped instead of making it worse
Sign In or Register to comment.