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To end it all...?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
I have been going out with my gf for a good while now, and we both have had a great time, and still love each other very very much.
The problem is with the other half of the relationship - it seems she has lost all passion for me. I know she still is completely in love with me, and wants all the cuddles and things, but she just doesnt have the need or want for anything more, which we both agree is terrible!

I mean, we've tried all sorts of things, and nothing makes her feel horny for me any more, nor does it encorage her to do anything for me spontaneously, not even kiss me passionately... It's very depressing :(

neither of us really want to break up, as we both still love each other, but we're living in a relationship of halfs, and it's just not that great :(
it's as if she just doesnt feel a need to do any of the giving in the relationship any more...

anyone got any ideas...?


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    is your girlfriend under any stress, or has she recently started a new phase of her life? by that i mean, when i started uni i wasnt stressed, however i went off sex, etc, fora while bcos i was more focused on other things!
    when people try to arrange to be spontaneous, it backfires. You've gotta surprise her! Anyway you could maybe take her away for a weekend?? Cook her a meal, light candles, maybe buy her a pressie to let her know u care (underwear may be good, a nice gift+could spice things up)
    Maybe you need to spend some time apart from each other, and then missing each other will help the passion??
    If this all fails, talk to her! You think you know how she feels, but unless you communicate you wont know for sure!
    Good luck+hope ive helped!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanks for your reply :)

    thing is, I have talked to her (alot!), and that is exactly how she feels... she even admits it herself.
    I've done the dining, suprising, buying underwear (running out of money now :p ), candles, massages... all sorts.

    that said, she has also reccently started university, and is suffering from low self confidence about her self (which is a real shame, cos she really has no reason too...) and with both these things, it seems there is nothing I can do that would help.

    She's also said that it's nothing I'm doing wrong, and it's something up with her... I guess I'm just feeling rather helpless :(

    so you say you went of your bf when you went up to uni...?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    to be honest i think she's worried about her self-image and uni. For the self-image, there's nothing you can really do apart from reassure her. She has to feel confident in herself, which is very hard to do!
    Perhaps you should give it a break for now. Suggest to her about having a few weeks apart, so there's less pressure in her life, and she can work out her feelings about your relationship.
    when i went to uni, i felt the same for my boyfriend, but i went off physical contact. I couldnt explain why, it just felt wierd to have sex. But for no obvious reason it came bk (maybe cos i went for about 2 weeks without it+i got pretty horny??) .
    you say you've spent alot of money on her, but i think the most important thing to give her now is support, understanding and, if she wants it, space!
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    seems you had the same symptoms as she has now... she's gone off physical contact, I mean other than cuddling and stuff. I dunno, seems the ball is in her court, but it's good to hear you got those feelings back :)

    (you did, right? :p )
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i did get them back, yes! thinking about it now, i think its bcos i sorted worried that our relationship was all about sex/sexual stuff. We spent days together going for walks, xmas shopping, the cinema, etc. Things alone that were romantic, and with our mates that were fun+those feelings just gradually came back.
    Maybe you and your girlfriend could go somewhere together special and romantic to you!!
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