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Mistrust of best friend

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
Some months ago one of my best friends suddenly told me about a whole deal of items she had aquired. Shoes, jeans, accesories, etc. I asked her on what occasion, being that a few days before she had been ranting about lack of money.
Apparently she had found an unattended bag at a club I think, taken the wallet, split the money with two others of her friends and taken the credit card... So basically she ended up using at least the equivalent of £500 of a strangers money.

Needless to say, I was in shock. I have never even stolen sweets as a kid. Her only thing was "Yes, I know it's wrong. But it was to teach the owner a lesson". Again, I was in shock. Especially as she has had so many of her own stuff stolen.
Didn't know what to tell her, and none of us ave mentioned it since.

Fast forward some months and I help her with her new apartment. A week previously I had bought some new expensive Tommy Hilfiger jeans for money which I really didn't have...
Now I was wearing my jeans when I arrived at the apartment, and changed to some more practical clothes. When we were finished, I was too lazy to change back.
I can't really remember wearing the jeans since, and have been searching for them for a week or two now. I asked her to check if they were at her apartment, which she says they weren't.

Now, because of the whole credit card thing, I have a hard time believing her and trusting her. And it's eating me up. Even if they genuinely aren't at her place, then I just can't trust her, and it's killing me.
It's a friend I've grown up with, and yes she has done a lot of shit, while I was her "good" example, but I never thought she would be able to do such a thing.

I now regret not "condemning" her credit card theft more specifically, and that I just let it pass as I wouldn't want her to get mad at me.
I feel uncomfortable being around her as I check my stuff. And it's just a really unpleasant situation to be in.

I don't really know why I am writing this. Guess I just needed it off my chest, as I for obvious reasons can't tell anyone real life.

Comments

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    She probably does have them, which is the worst part of all.

    When someone proves themselves to be so untrustworthy, it's very difficult to get that trust back. I always check the money in my wallet after we've been to GWST's parents because her younger sister can't be trusted to keep her hands to herself.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Are you and her the same jeans size?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by DiamondGeezer
    Are you and her the same jeans size?

    We are :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Not that it's relevant, she could always sell them.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Kermit
    Not that it's relevant, she could always sell them.
    Was thinking that to. They're brand new :(
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Brand new?

    Och:(

    That's even harder to pin down the blame, even if she was wearing them she'd deny it. Gargh.

    get a new friend?
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well, now you know what she's like. double check you dont know where your jeans are - maybe ask any of your mates who know what has happened to try+keep an eye out around her flat. id just confront her. If she denies it, ask can you check her flat. If she moans about you not trusting her, then explain that of course you dont, as she's a thief!! there's no other word for it!! you dont need friends like that!! what a bitch! :mad:
    SBG
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    if i were in your position i wouldnt be calling her my best friend.

    A best friend is somebody you can trust, not a thief who would steal your stuff.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I am so down over this. Cause as said, even if she doesn't have my pants it still sucks to be this cautious about a friend...
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Talk to her about it. Be honest that you don't feel like you can trust her anymore, see what happens.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,324 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Eek, tough one Jacq. Hopefully your jeans turn up and it turns out she didn’t ever have them or there’s another innocent explanation.

    The credit card thing was stealing off a stranger, that’s as wrong but different to stealing off a friend. She’s dishonest because the credit card thing but is she that deceitful to nick stuff off a friend? You could ask her as Fiend_85 says, otherwise you’ll keep wondering and worrying.

    Hope it works out!
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