Friends heartbroken

Former Member

An old friend of mine has just been dumped by her boyfriend of 18months. They have been havin really bad arguments recently and she suggested a break, just to cool down, he was like ok and then foned her a the day after. They then got back together for a week when he called her up to split up with her. My friend was devistated!1 she didnt go into college for days, then i finally managed to get her out the house. the next day she went to his house to speak to him, cos he had not dumped her to her face and they then got back together, he said he would never give up on them. Two days later he was meant to go to her house and he never showed up, he said he had given up and they split again!

Its thursday today and she's not been in college since friday. All she does is stay up in her room and cry or sleep. I need to get her out the house again but it cant always be up to me to be here especially as I have so much goin on at the moment too.

He was the first person she ever slept with which has made it worse. Her confidence is really down and has no self esteem, and is actually in therapy at the moment for depression, so the whole situation is really bad. They had arranged to go to the same uni and everything. to be honest she is 17, he's her first real boyf, and it was all goin way too fast. Especially as recently he had started to change and get angrier and lying to her.

I keep sayin to her it will get better, she just needs to get through the difficult stage at the beginning, then she can convince herself to live without him, but if he called she would take him back again, and he would break her heart all over again. I think that i should find her a hobby or womthing to keep her busy, but i have no idea!

Has anyone been in the same situation?? How can I help her through this stage without her wanting to phone him?? she's actually waiting for him to call..hoping. He never wants to see her again, and she said she at least wants to be friends....life's not that simple!!

Former Member

ok, ppl may disagree with me here, but i think she needs to cry!! If she doesnt get all the hurt+grief out now, she could bottle it up inside her, then in a year or something become ill (speaking from exp here) Everyone's different, but break-ups hurt everyone.
Its understandable that you've got alot goin on in your life, but i think a really good idea would be 2 let her have abit of space, but dont ignore her. Then in a few days/a week go around one night with films (preferably comedys to cheer her up, nothing romantic), popcorn, choclate and ice-cream and a nice bottle of wine!! Show her that she doesnt need this guy to have fun, and maybe after having a night where she thinks about him less (or hopefully not at all) she'll see she doesnt need him!
Did she choose her uni course bcos he was going there?? If so, she should choose one for HER asap, b4 the decisions are finalised.
SBG

Former Member

this might sound bad but tell her to wise the fuck up, i hate people that just sit and cry, anyone who goes into a relationship should consider the consequences before they happen, and you're just a weak person if all you do is reflect and be sad about it all the time, yes, get a bit of anger out but at the end of the day just put your chin up and move on, end of.

Former Member

ok well i left her for a day, and she went and foned him up to see how he is, and now they are back together. she said she was gna make sure she werent gna get too close to him this time, i said how can u do that? then she said that she's going to let him do the running, when shes already started it by foning him!! I then told her how she was blinded by him, stuck in like a bubble which she was getting out of (and getting stronger) the past few days. shes strting to reconsider...i mean he cud decide to dump her again in a few more days time again, then she'll b even more crushed!