Long distance relationship trouble

Former Member

Hey my names Lindsay, I come from NZ. I apologise for the long post, but I would really appreciate you reading it. I have this ticking timebomb that will go off in about 10 days when my girlfriend leaves me to go live in Australia.

I'm a month off being 16, and she's a few months off 18. The hardest thing about our relationship is that she is Burmese, and her father wont allow her to go out by herself, and there will be no talk of b/f's etc untill she's 25. This certainly didnt stop us considering we met at work and saw eachother every week.

As our relationship progressed though, seeing eachother at work (where we could hardly talk) was not enough. So one night we discovered sneaking out of the house. This act wasnt even for sex, we just wanted to see eachother and talk. This continued for a few months. Her older brother suspected us for a long time. All the time he would ask her about me. One night when she snuck out to see me, her brother discovered her missing. She tried to kill herself but I pleaded with her telling her we could instead run away. I ended up getting stabbed in the hand blocking the knife from her chest. We ran away that night but I convinced her to go home after a while.

After that things really started heating up. Her parents cant speak any english so they didnt talk to mine about it. Her brother threatened me a few times. One day her father came to work and stood there a few metres away glaring at me for a few minutes. But none of this stopped us from seeing eachother. No matter how hard they tried to keep us apart, we were still in love and saw eachother all the time. It was hard, once I waited in a bustop from 1pm untill 1am just to see her for about 10 mins.

Now, though, she is moving to Australia and we dont know what to do. It's a possibility that she could call me, but because of the cost it might not happen all the time. When I turn 18 I have full intention of going to live close to her where I can see her. But there's a 2 year wait for that. Although she's nearly 18, she is a bit uneducated and its sometimes hard to reason with her. I'm not really the problem, I know how to handle not seeing her for 2 years. But I think she may forget about me or try to move on because she's a bit discouraged by the situation.

I wont stop loving her after 2 years but she thinks I will. And if she's convinced of that she'll try to forget about me.

It's almost impossible for me to talk to her from now untill she leaves, and I'm thinking I'll have one last chance. What advice can I give her? I really want this to work. I'm racking my brain trying to show her that I wont forget her. Sorry for the long post. I really need some advice.

Cheers

Former Member

After reading your post im not sure what to say. sounds like your in a no win situtaion really, she's moving and you cant go with her, or keep in touch. You say you'll love her for 2 years till you can go move near her... but how do you know that you wont meet someone else? or she will meet some one? you cant say 100% you'll not stray.
Can you not write? email? Keep in touch that way? See how things go... save up and go to see her next year or sometime?

Sorry im not much help.

xx

Former Member

Well, I think the suggestion of staying in touch through email/the internet, telephone and letters is a good idea to start with. Obviously there is no way you can prevent her from moving, so this really is the only option open to you. Two years is an extremely long time and although you may feel very in love with her now, it really is impossible to know how you'll feel even a few months down the line, but at least by keeping in contact through whatever means possible you will be able to see how it goes.

However, I do see some very big problems, even if you are both very much in love by the time you reach 18. To move to Australia you're going to have to have the finacial means, and doing so would be a long and complicated process, my understanding of it (I may be wrong) is that you have to have a certain number of points or something to become a resident out there so obviously you would have to make sure you were eligable to move. Also, even when you get there are her parents going to accept your relationship? She will only be 20 and although I have no doubt you would continue to see one another, the situation would surely be as bad as it is now, if not worse?

I think just telling her to stay in touch is the only advice you can give her, see how it goes when she moves, see whether your feelings for one another continue to develop or whether you grow apart and want to meet new people. And if after a year or so things are still good between you, then perhaps you should start seriously researching what it would take for you to move there when you reach 18.

It really is a difficult situation and I understand the time ahead of you is going to be really difficult, so I hope something works out for you and good luck with it all

Former Member

Hey thanks alot..

The good news is that I'm an Australian citizen so there'll be no trouble there. More good news is that I've researched it thoroughly and find it is finacially possible.

I'm not so immature that I feel we will never grow apart or meet other people, its just I really hate to think about that. She is extremely tolerant of guys I guess you could say in the way that I'm her first boyfriend and she has had about 2 offers per week since she was 12. But thats not to say she wont fall in love with someone else.

I really dont have a chance with any other chicks. Ha.

Heh.. the annoying thing is we seem to always fight when we chat on the internet. The not seeing the expression etc just screws us up. Guess I should invest in a webcam...

I guess it all comes down to god really. And luck. If we're lucky, we wont meet anyone new. If I'm lucky, I'll find someone better (not that anyone exists :rolleyes:). And if I've angered god she will find some new guy.

I hope she tells me and doesnt have some secret relationship from our secret relationship though.

Thanks again.