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real men dont cry...
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
discuss
i think its each to their own, some do some dont
i only cried once over losing a good friend/girlfriend for uni - but that was in private
only time in public was when my grandad died and me and my sis were 1st ones to find out when hosptial called us
i think its each to their own, some do some dont
i only cried once over losing a good friend/girlfriend for uni - but that was in private
only time in public was when my grandad died and me and my sis were 1st ones to find out when hosptial called us
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we only do when we need to IMHO
some people i know cry over crap like tv shows, WHY?!
I nearly cried today when i watched Corrie which id taped last night. The bit when Sally couldnt find her Daughter in the house, I was sat imagining the fear what she would have felt if it was real life....im soft as shite
Men dont cry because its not macho to cry. They have to be seen as being strong and cope with anything. Bullshit really though, cos at the end of the day men are only human too (well some of em)
no need to discuss, if you're incapable of crying then you have no emotion and thusly aren't human.
Some carry the burden within the moment, and are required to see it through, rather than waste time/energy/effort in impotent, powerless and self absorbed emotional reactions. They are responsible for the outcome, keep thinking their way through, and endure... then cry later, when the moment is over, the threat resolved, and they may mourn.
I did not cry while I was in Vietnam; I took care of business.
I cried ten years later, at The Wall, reading the names of over 100 Marines who had died next to me, some quickly, and some who slowly bled to death... and then there were no more tears, for two decades, for any reason.
For some there is a button which engages "The Machine", and... The Machine does not feel, does not care, but simply brings the assigned task to fruition. You think me "not human" because I am not so powerless as to surrender to emotions, when the moment demands response? I think you lack spine...
i read somewhere that 4/5ths of war veterans have life long mental problems after a war, another reason why war is bad.
the question should be why should a man not cry in public, then you're into a whole new ball park.
Men are conditioned from a young age that we don't cry. How many time do we hear Mum's say to their young sons, come on don't cry, be a big boy. What we learn is to bottle things up instead. Stiff upper lip old boy and a stiff drink.
A good thing? hell no, you see we cry when we feel bad.
If we don't cry, how can that bad feeling escape?
Turlough, those stats sound a little high but its true that Vietnam veterans like any other veterans of conflict have suffered from post traumatic stress disorder. My friends Grandfather suffered from it for years after WW2. My own Great Uncle came from the same war and never spoke to his family again in his life, just retreated to an isolated part of the countryside.
Respect for the post Globe.
There are two basic ways to deal with emotion/frustration/pain.
You can turn it inward, where it will manifest itself in visible sorrow/remorse/tears, or stifle it inward, where it becomes depression/rage.
or...
You can project it outward.
It is not "machismo" which causes the restraint from tears; it is the compelling requisite to channel the stress outward, and bring the task to completion. It is not "machismo", it is survival, if not of the individual, then of the mission/squad/platoon/company/division... or country.
You suck it up, and get it done.
One of the collateral effects of combat. Part and parcel.
Only those who have survived ground combat, on the individual level, truly comprehend the nature and extremity of the cost. Because we pay the price - for the rest of our lives - we are not rash in engaging at such for any excuse. However... we also comprehend the necessity in given moments, of what we have survived individually, will eventually be visited upon ALL who are around us.
I was given a cathartic clarity of vision, a deeper understanding.
I have posted previously that I was a "dyed-in-the-wool" liberal, before I enlisted in the Marine Corps. I campaigned for (presidential dove candidate) Eugene McCarthy in 1968, I was on a first name basis with Wayne Morse (only other US senator to vote against US escallation in Vietnam). I believed in my touchie/feelie "love-thy-neighbor" view of the world.
What I saw, what I endured in Vietnam changed that. It gave an ethical enema to the liberal shit that was constipated between my ears. I saw the barbarity of the real world, outside of the protected microcosm to which I had been born. The "touchie/feelie"? Was flushed away by the reality of that barbarity, not much different in the Viet Cong from the Islamic extremists in the current conflict...
It's good, it always seems to help
in public. no problem with it.
but ...i have a streak in melike what globes talking about. from a life of crime and jail.
i have been in many situations where i wanted to cry ...but had to smile instead.
i have been in situations where i have wanted to dissapear up my own arse but ...had to bluff my way through ...do what had to be done ...look big and brave and strong to pull us all through.
Yep, thought so. You've been very very deeply hurt by your expereinces.
Or maybe you're just naturally a macho twat. I was trying to give you the benefit of the doubt.
*shrugs*