I can't cope with my sister

Former Member

Please, there must be a way I can help her with Euthanasia, she's the worst bitch I know. She is the complete opposite of me in so many ways and is just out to get what she can get. She's 14 and she bunks off school and goes out being a sex-toy for 19 year old towny losers who've got no life.

I've gone past the point of caring for her life, she's already fucked it up so much, but why does she have to drag me down too?

Former Member

don't let her.

if it's bringing you down, then detach yourself from her. there is only so much you can do to help someone. eventually she will wake up and see what a mess she has got herself into. she's a good girl at heart, just following the crowd- a dangerous thing.....

Former Member

Omg, just outa curiosity do your parents know what she does? Has anything happened to her to make her do it? or is she just doing it to be "cool"? If its upsetting you, then the best thing to do imo, is to keep out of her way, or try too.

Former Member

She's 14, she has an attitude and think she's an adult as do most young teens, thinks the world owes them a favour.

What do you parents have to say about this?

Former Member

Originally posted by Felix Da Housecat
What do you parents have to say about this?

Well, they're plenty dealing with their own stress at the moment, and trust me there's a lot of it. I think my sister might feel neglected because with so much going on she cant be the centre of attention so she's going out getting as much attention as she can.

Former Member

Tell her to grow up, following that ignore her.

Former Member

Tell her I know someone who acts like her and ended up being fingered at some club in the toilets by some guy she didn't know and just met, when she didn't want to be. If she shrugs it off you may wish to add how my friend started cutting herself because of it and smokes like a train. Word got out and now not many people will talk to her.

No joke either.

Former Member

*gone*

Former Member

What kind of role are your parents playing in this situation? Have you taken into consideration the attitude that you had at 14 years old? Also, please take into consideration the fact that boys and girls are different at that age. I know when I was 14 I was absolutely ridiculous and it sounds like her behaviour is pretty much the same. I think that this is probably just a phase that she's going through and while it may be a difficult thing to deal with as an older brother, it's something that you need to. Be supportive of her good habits and try to be reasonable where the bad ones are concerned.

Former Member

Do u mind me asking whats happened to distract from her? Sex is a really bad thing to do when your young, i know im only a year older then her but i think sex under 16 is illegal for a reason. And i have had sex. Have u tried to talking to her about what shes doing? Dont the school or social have something to say about it? If you cant think of a way to fix it just avoid her and make it clear you dont approve.

Former Member

My sister is just a tard, we've been threatened with court because she doesn't go school, and my dad can't look after himself so it would be my mum going and the family would be all split up. Yet today, as ever, she walks in the front door and out the back.

She also steals money to go town. We wanted to put her in a boarding school but there are waiting lists and knwoing what my sister is like they probably wouldn't want her anyway.

Former Member

Wow - that sounds like an incredibly difficult situation to be in. Where is it that you live? I live in New York, and I know that in the U.S. there are court mandates as far as kids being in school and that sort of thing. Do you have social services or anything to that effect? Has the school system gotten involved, counselors there or anything like that?

Former Member

Originally posted by workingonit
Wow - that sounds like an incredibly difficult situation to be in. Where is it that you live? I live in New York, and I know that in the U.S. there are court mandates as far as kids being in school and that sort of thing. Do you have social services or anything to that effect? Has the school system gotten involved, counselors there or anything like that?

everyone has tried, but all they can do is write 'action plans' and tell my parents they're going to get into trouble, because apparently my sister isn't responsible about herself. But my mum drives her to the front door of the school and watches her go in - what else can she do other than handcuff her to the desk.

I live in Leicester, UK

Former Member

maybe she just needs to grow out of this behaviour, lets just hope it happens sooner rather than later cus otherwise she could get really hurt.
My sister is 15 and more or less went through everything that your sister has and is probably quite similar. I feel I can't do anything for my sister mosty because she doesn't get caught not going to school cus she has her 'friends' to cover up for her.
She is getting a little better though. She goes concilling about cuting herslef and is making proper (and hopefully good) friends.
Have you tried talking to her about her problems? that could help a little in the short term.

Former Member

Counsellors and action plans suck 9 times out of 10. Have you told the social workers that your mum drives her to school and drops her off everyday? Why dont they sent her to truant people school? I dunno if you have them in leicester but we do in cornwall. They are like schools u dont go to everyday and they are stricter and stuff.

Former Member

I agree with you that conselors and social workers often times suck and you have to wonder if they really have everyones best interest in mind. The thing is though, they can do something legally, if that's whats necessary. Seeing as how the mother is driving this girl to school everyday and watching her go into the buidling, my feeling is that at that point, it's the schools responsibility to ensure that she stays there. When I was in highschool we had monitors that wandered around the grounds looking for kids that weren't where they were supposed to be. As far as her life outside of school goes, I'm not sure what ought to be done about that. I suppose you could call social services and tell them that the behaviors she's curretly taking part in are a danger to her well being and move forward from there. It depends on how extreme the behavior actually is and how much of it proven or an assumption.

Former Member

the thing that i would be most worried about for her sake is the sex with 19 year olds. Sex is a big thing no matter what anyone says and ive been where she is and if she feels what i felt its not nice. Im trying to pick up the pieces now and it would be horrid for her to be in that situation.
Plus if you dont use a johnny you can get diseases, aids or pregnant. All of which would suck at 14.

Former Member

Originally posted by Xila
Tell her I know someone who acts like her and ended up being fingered at some club in the toilets by some guy she didn't know and just met, when she didn't want to be. If she shrugs it off you may wish to add how my friend started cutting herself because of it and smokes like a train. Word got out and now not many people will talk to her.

No joke either.

Thats not the worst that could happen to her tho.....

Former Member

I've written on here a few times about my brother. The thing is he was like that aged 14 and he's now 17 and is only just starting to grow up a little.

Something bad has to happen to your sister to make her realise what she's doing to herself and others. In the meantime there isn't anything you can do really, other than ignore her. She'll learn the lesson the hard way like my brother had to and then she'll more than likely settle down. I know this isn't much comfort but I thought I would add my own experience of an unruly sibling.

Former Member

next year she's got a place at a boarding school in worcestershire or something which is a long way away! It's in january, I'm well chuffed!!

Former Member

what a hard place to be in.

as someone that grew up in the social services care, i have seen quite a bit of this and if all other avenues fail (please dont hate me for what i am about to say) then your parents still have a trump card up their sleves which is your parents can make arrangements for her to go and view a secure unit accomadation which houses out of control teens. been there done that. the best thing is they have no choice but to go to school as when they in the classroom the door is locked.

if that does not work then as a absolute last resort your parents could have her accommodated with social services similar to a care order but your parents still have parental responsibility.

dont know if any of this helps but i hope you can find a resolution..


ALL THE BEST....

Former Member

she needs to use a johnny! not just her anyone having sex. No one seems to realise sex is a big thing it can ruin ur life! I had to take the morning after pill a couple of weeks ago and all i thought from the moment i had unprotected sex til my period came was what if it doesnt work and i need an abortion. And the morning after pill made me bleed and it gave me stomach pains. I had to pee in a pot to see if i was pregnant which was humiliating and the fact i had sex when to be honest i didnt want to and ended up in that situation with the guy who i did it with not giving a shit made me feel shit. SEX IS A REALLY BIG THING AND IF UR NOT SENSIBLE ENOUGH TO USE A JOHNNY (unless u are in a loving relationship, STI and STD free, on the contraceptive pill or trying for a baby) THEN U ARENT MATURE ENOUGH TO BE HAVING IT! shy boy please tell ur sister that.