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Anyone shed some light?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Right well basically I thought everything was going fine in my relationship, we argued a little too much maybe but on the whole it seemed like everything was fine. Basically we had a chat and she was all 'do you think we argue too much?' then went on to say that we needed a break etc. First of all she said a few months, then when I questioned her motives she said a few weeks and just after Christmas, basically just sounding like she was all over the place.
Her motives were basically that she needed to 'sort her head out', find a job and just figure wheter she was ready for a relationship I suppose - think she's going through one of those 'where am I going with my life' phases. She said at first she definitely did want to get back together (I suppose why she worded it as going on a break as a pose to splitting up), but after having a conversation with her about it the other night she said something along the lines of 'I dunno what I want, I don't want you to wait for me because I really haven't got a clue what I want, etc', but she remained adamant that she was on a break from the relationship and not splitting up. Then went on to say if I wanted to go and get with other people it's fine, she'd be jealous but she'd only have herself to blame.
Thing is, I really like this girl and cheesy as it sounds I've never connected with someone like her before so yeah it was pretty gutting to hear all this, and however much I want to stand by her side and wait for her I really don't know what to do - is it even worth me waiting for her for weeks on end do you reckon when she's been so vague and just generally confused over what she wants.
Sorry for the long-windedness of it all, there's probably a bucket load I've forgotten but my mind's completely blank. Any input would be greatly appreciated, would be especially grateful of females' views, maybe to help decode what the fuck she's on about - I'm at a total loss.
Her motives were basically that she needed to 'sort her head out', find a job and just figure wheter she was ready for a relationship I suppose - think she's going through one of those 'where am I going with my life' phases. She said at first she definitely did want to get back together (I suppose why she worded it as going on a break as a pose to splitting up), but after having a conversation with her about it the other night she said something along the lines of 'I dunno what I want, I don't want you to wait for me because I really haven't got a clue what I want, etc', but she remained adamant that she was on a break from the relationship and not splitting up. Then went on to say if I wanted to go and get with other people it's fine, she'd be jealous but she'd only have herself to blame.
Thing is, I really like this girl and cheesy as it sounds I've never connected with someone like her before so yeah it was pretty gutting to hear all this, and however much I want to stand by her side and wait for her I really don't know what to do - is it even worth me waiting for her for weeks on end do you reckon when she's been so vague and just generally confused over what she wants.
Sorry for the long-windedness of it all, there's probably a bucket load I've forgotten but my mind's completely blank. Any input would be greatly appreciated, would be especially grateful of females' views, maybe to help decode what the fuck she's on about - I'm at a total loss.
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If I was saying that then I'd probably be feeling like I shouldn't plunge back into something, though I do have feelings for you. I don't want you to feel tied to me because I'm not sure where I'm going and I feel like my indecisive-ness is unfair on you and I can't expect you to wait around for me to sort myself out because I'm holding you back from being with someone else, which is selfish of me, but the thought of you with someone else, would really get to me, though I can't really say alot because, I'm not with you and am not sure whether I should be with you just yet.
So I bet she's confused- very confused! She seems like she's very sad, I'm not gonna say depressed but it implies to me that she's quite down about her life, she's not sure where she's going, what she wants or what she SHOULD be doing and in affect she's trying to do what feels right, despite the fact it's hurting and saddening her even more.
Maybe you could offer her further support. For example my bf is quite disorganised, he's panicking about his Uni and Ucas stuff, can't make decisions so I've sat down with him, helped him decide what subjects he really enjoys and I've got the information he needs, and now he just needs to read it and make the final decisions, and that's put his mind at ease and making it easier for him in other aspects of his life i.e. keeping up with college wk, he feels happier/sleeping better..so...offering yourself where you can to help her out. Stepping back from a bf role and just being a friend and advisor?
On saying all of the above, my ex (who at the time of saying this, I was actually with but our relationship was crumbling) told me to go off with whoever I liked, and although he'd feel jealous, he'd accept me doing it. Basically it was his way of gaining a reason to get rid of me I found out in the end..."You deserve someone better, be single, enjoy being other blokes and not me. Yeah I'd be jealous, but you'd be happy"...week after we split...whose got a new gf...but in all honesty, by the sounds of the commotion that's being created in other aspects of her life, I'd tend to go with what I said earlier a bit more.
Hope this helps a little!
Malt Munk xxx