Home Sex & Relationships
If you need urgent support, call 999 or go to your nearest A&E. To contact our Crisis Messenger (open 24/7) text THEMIX to 85258.
Read the community guidelines before posting ✨
Options

not feeling like being affectionate at all?? pls help!

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
hi all!
for some reason im not feeling like being very affectionate with my boyfriend recently. ive been abit upset about my eczema recently, but in the past getting a cuddle off him has always helped. now it doesnt, in fact when we're slobbing around in bed watching tv late at night, i dont even lie into him and if he wants to cuddle up to me, it feels wierd+i normally push him away. ive told him how i feel+its getting to us both.
its quite worrying, as i normally need alot of physical contact (sexual or not) to feel safe and happy (due to bad past experiences) :(
i cant understand, and my boyfriend is getting upset. its been going on for about 4 weeks now, and he says he feels "un-loved and un-wanted" im feeling like a cruel bitch, but at the same time i dont want to do stuff when it doesn't feel the same - it feels wierd.
also, we used to sleep together about twice a week, but we havent done anything like that in about 5 weeks. we both felt incredibly horny when i was on my period, but couldn't do anything+then the minute we could, the thought repulsed me :eek: , which isnt like me!!
has anybody else had these feelings, bcos at the moment i feel so horrid. ive tried having time away from him bcos at first i thought i didnt feel as strongly about him, but when we had a weeks apart i realised i did. im so confused!!
Thanx
SBG

Comments

  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thank you so much star*, its reassuring to know that im not the only one. im so sorry about the abuse, but glad you've come thru it.
    i have basically no confidence, my ex b.f made sure of that.he didnt sexually abuse me, but was quite violent towards the end of our relationship :(
    ive just spoken to my boyfriend and he's really hurt, but i told him that i cant sleep with him, or be too phsical even, if my heart isnt in it. for me, that would feel like lying to him, and doing it just to make him happy.
    the only way i can describe it is - you know how when you're really comfy in bed+cant be bothered to get up - like when your feeling ill+it almost seems like somebody's pushing you down so you cant bring yourself to get up? it sorta feels like that, but i dont think im just being lazy in my affection :(
    SBG
  • Options
    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    GOD! I'm SO going through this with my bloke just now, but we're pulling through it. I think you need to think back and talk about when you last felt sexy when your sexuality between each other was regular.

    Find an underlying problem.

    I know my bloke's; he's stressed due to his work. Me; I'm worried and depressed about LOADS right now. I feel fat, unattractive, plus I have other personal issues regarding my family which you lot probably've read but worse has happened. Gaaaah. It's a mess.

    Underneath all the pile of shit, I need him. He's the worst match for me as he's the only one who can make me cry and laugh at the same time, but despite that, I'd go mad if I didn't have him. :(

    Sucks, really.
Sign In or Register to comment.