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Long distence.
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Been done before, but many new people or opinions have changed so i'd like fresh ones.
I just want your opinion.. Do you think they can work?
For example I am spending sunday night (late at night when i get home) - Friday morning in essex (where i live) and friday - sunday around my gf's
I am just curious do you think this can work? it's not to far travel, 1hr 30min by car, but 3hours by train.. so it's not to bad bad as by the time they drive down and back its 3hours,
so do you think they can work?
Also, has anyone here been in a simular circemstances than me? I think when I start driving it will be alot easier but atm it
I just want your opinion.. Do you think they can work?
For example I am spending sunday night (late at night when i get home) - Friday morning in essex (where i live) and friday - sunday around my gf's
I am just curious do you think this can work? it's not to far travel, 1hr 30min by car, but 3hours by train.. so it's not to bad bad as by the time they drive down and back its 3hours,
so do you think they can work?
Also, has anyone here been in a simular circemstances than me? I think when I start driving it will be alot easier but atm it
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Comments
Do you know why they dumped each other?
Well I have meet my current gf, been friends for months before.. 6-7months close friends.. distence is super large and not to costly, I can do it every week but would be skint, but is well worth it,
thanks for the horror story Poo chan, I was actually worried that would happen to me with people i meet on the net..
My friend did one from Scotland to Belfast and it worked for her.
Dave has friends who did it from England - USA and they are happily married now.
As long as both parties give and take and willing to make it work then it can work.
you'll both get very lonely, very frustrated and very poor (i found out a couple of months ago that mr. kaff sold his playstation 2 because otherwise he couldn't afford the coach tickets to come see me
that's not to say it will though. i wouldn't have put up with it for very long if i didn't think that it would work out in the long term. and because i knew that at some point we would be able to move nearer.
there's also the trust issue. they could be doing anything behind your back and you wouldn't know. i found that quite hard to deal with. and also, when you are so far apart, you seem to have totally different lives, and it's quite hard to relate to each other.
and i think when you spend a lot of time missing someone, you can overestimate how much you actually care for them. i know people who that's happened to. because they weren't together often, they pined all the time, but when they were together for more than a couple of weeks at a time, they realised that they didn't actually like each other that much.
Well I am spending christmas up there and she is coming back down with me 2/3days after new years day and spending my b-day with me down here
kaffrin is pretty much spot-on with what she said.
:yes: very true..
Why does it take longer by train than it does by car? That's a bit weird.
Well regardless of that, my boyfriend is at uni in Leeds while I'm in Edinburgh, and we see each other on average every other weekend. We're working out fine. However, we're both 20 and have been together for two years in total (with a 6 month break along the way) so it's a bit different. You're what, 16? I don't think I could have handled a long distance relationship at that age when I wasn't anywhere near used to having a serious boyfriend.
it's longer because when they drive its m25 and A12mainly but i have to travel through london on the train
Ive now been in a 10 month relationship with my bloke. We've had more ups n downs than a yoyo!
So much has happened tht has come close to splitting us up. We're going through our 'trust' faze atm, think tht unless u aint together properly, there will always be dilemas n with the distance its always hard to sort things out.
I think tht if this relationship goes down hill i will never have a long distance again. Its hard work, very costly n u sure as hell find it hard seeing ur mates with their partners, i get very envious n sometimes jelous.
It also means one of u giving up your whole life and starting a new if u move in together and at 17 i dont think im ready for tht just yet.
XxX
:yes: yep, seconded.
After my boyfriend graduated only about 3 months after we met we were doing the long distance thing for 3 years - mostly from Bristol/Bath to London, but it was London to Hanover while I did me year abroad.
It could be very difficult not seeing him very often - especially when I was in Germany - but we got through it, and 3 years later I graduated at last so was able to move to London.
We've now been living together for 5 and a half months
The relationships don't suck! Well, I'd hope not. It's the fact that they're long distance which sucks. It's important not to confuse the two
leeds - coventry is longer by train too. it's cause the direct line only runs twice a day, and at stupid times, so normally you have to go to brum and then turn back on yourself. annoying!
guess its not as bad for us since im at uni we can always count down to holidays. dont know what i'd do without hols to break the time up though
He seldem calls me off his own back, i dont get a txt from him for days at a time & im getting pretty sick n tired of always making the effort to text him or call him, for a starters he gets 500 free minutes to other o2 users where as im on pay as you go. This time ive left it to him to contact me, its now been 4 days : /
Does anyone else have this problem? Surley if ur away from each other u want 2 constantly be in touch, am i making sense?
I cant understand y he wont make the 1st move all the time. He comes down here more often then i go up there but:
1) He has a car n i dont drive
2) He earns almost triple what i earn a month
3) I dont always have free weekends
But when i do get time like half terms etc i will get the train from southampton - birmingham then birmingham - telford (alone)
Is this a two way thing here or am i the only one making this relationship work?
XxX
Hmm I gotta admit that if I didn't hear from my boyfriend for four days then I wouldn't be too happy. But it depends on the circumstances - is he working full time? Maybe he's really busy and just forgets - sometimes it genuinely doesn't occur to people to call/text their other halves when they've got a lot on their minds. How long have you been together? And what's it like when you do speak to him? Do you get the impression he's still happy?
Therefore if he suddenly didn't contact you for a few days, you'd be worried. But if he'd just always been like that then you wouldn't get worried because you'd know it was just the way he was.
Firstly i have to say tht after last night i couldn't not txt ma boyfriend so i sent a sarcastic txt saying "In case u forgot im alive n well, hope the same goes 4 u"
He txt bk later tht night saying he was ok etc. So i asked him why he had not contacted me in 4 days n how long would i had to have waited to hear from him.
Yes he does work full time n he said he ha been busy but like i said to him it took him a whole 30 seconds to reply 2 ma txt so surely he has 30 seconds to spare in his day where he can at least say "hi hope ur ok bladdy bladdy bla"
We've been together for 10 months now, he used to constantly keep in touch with me n i knew tht we couldnt always keep in touch but i mean after 4 days it does get me thinking "does he still know who i am?"
When we're sat in the same room we talk forever. We have real deep convos n both of us are very dibatable so we tend to have alot of opinions n speak our minds about things. This is why i cant understand not hearing from him or when i do the short messages he sends. He sends things like "yeh" a whole txt wasted on "yeh".
He did however appologise to me today about not contacting me in a while, i just wish he'd phone me more often, i miss his voice n i dont like it how he#s becoming a stranger
Do i think he's still happy...? With the distance...no. But in our relationship in general...yes! I just wish there was a way we could be together whenever we wanted.
XxX
As we are both Students I have quite a bit of free time to talk to my Gf when I am away, I suppose I also lucky as I get to spend 3out of the 7 days a week at hers,
Anyway thanks for everyones opinions on things..