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another girlfriend troubles thread
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Firstly I appologise for my username, what was I thinking 
The problem is that over the last couple of months i've slowly found out that my girlfriend was 'playing' me with about 3 other guys right up until the time when we were officially going out (ie dating all of us and saying she was interested in us all etc) while keeping us all secret from each other (and lying to keep it secret). The problem is that I really considered us a couple at least a couple of months before that so I kind of view this as like 2(3?)-timing me with them. Also she swears that I was the only one she was really interested in but it seems unlikely.
The other thing was that about 2 months after we officially got together she was really flirty with one of these guys on msn one night (just an impulsive one off thing I think) and got him to send a naked picture of himself to her. He's not just a random guy - lives quite close to her and they used to flirt heavily on msn and in texts (before we were going out)
Since about a month after that we've really got much closer to each other, we lost our virginities to each other and I really believed that I was in love with her. (and still do really)
I was quite underhand in finding out about these things (looking at her msn logs) which probably shows that I have big trust issues with her now
We've been together for aboutt 6 1/2 months, but after finding out about all these things (lies, deception, the naked picture thing which I consider almost like cheating) I really don't know what to do. Is it worth throwing away such a good relationship for things she's done in the past? she swears that she's changed now and wouldn't dream of doing stuff like this anymore.
She's my first real girlfriend and really means a lot to me. I don't know how i'd live without her now. Maybe that's not such a healthy way to think!
To make matters worse, i've been at uni for the last month so we only get to see each other every week/two weeks
Any help would be appreciated!
The problem is that over the last couple of months i've slowly found out that my girlfriend was 'playing' me with about 3 other guys right up until the time when we were officially going out (ie dating all of us and saying she was interested in us all etc) while keeping us all secret from each other (and lying to keep it secret). The problem is that I really considered us a couple at least a couple of months before that so I kind of view this as like 2(3?)-timing me with them. Also she swears that I was the only one she was really interested in but it seems unlikely.
The other thing was that about 2 months after we officially got together she was really flirty with one of these guys on msn one night (just an impulsive one off thing I think) and got him to send a naked picture of himself to her. He's not just a random guy - lives quite close to her and they used to flirt heavily on msn and in texts (before we were going out)
Since about a month after that we've really got much closer to each other, we lost our virginities to each other and I really believed that I was in love with her. (and still do really)
I was quite underhand in finding out about these things (looking at her msn logs) which probably shows that I have big trust issues with her now
We've been together for aboutt 6 1/2 months, but after finding out about all these things (lies, deception, the naked picture thing which I consider almost like cheating) I really don't know what to do. Is it worth throwing away such a good relationship for things she's done in the past? she swears that she's changed now and wouldn't dream of doing stuff like this anymore.
She's my first real girlfriend and really means a lot to me. I don't know how i'd live without her now. Maybe that's not such a healthy way to think!
To make matters worse, i've been at uni for the last month so we only get to see each other every week/two weeks
Any help would be appreciated!
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Comments
I've been with my boyfriend for 5months and I'm back at uni, we see each other every 2-3 weeks, it would drive me crazy if I knew he'd done these things in the past and kept things from me, I really wouldn't be able to continue to be with him.
But then again I don't know if things will ever be the same between us now. I often feel hurt when I lie in bed at night thinking about things
it was years ago. we can let you off :yes:
sometimes relationships come to a natural end. sounds like this might have happened. you think you can never find anyone who understands you as well as she can, but you can, and i bet you will.
you've fallen in love with someone, and now it seems she isn't that person, and you're not sure who she is. anyone would be thinking what you are.
personally i'd use the time at uni to be free and single and sort your head out, and then when the right girl comes along, you will not have to waste your time with a girl who sends naked pics to other guys while you're together.
But back to the thread. Trust is a nightmare thing. It's incredibly difficult to form a bond of trust between two people, and extremely easy to break it. If you feel the need to talk to her again, do so, but I would suggest you leave her in the past. If you can't trust each other, the relationship is doomed. Sorry to be the prophet of doom.
Thanks for your advice guys, I think the general consensus between everyone i've asked is that i'd be best off without her. I'm going to be seeing her this weekend so i'll talk to her about it I guess.
Anyone else have any views?
Sure! I still like trance music!