Go for it!

Former Member

Im not sure why im doing this thread but its something i need to say to people with low confidence.

I went away to "sunny" butlins for 5 days during the week and it was great fun. On the last night i went clubbing to a place called Jumpin Jaks, most people will know of jaks.

Anyway there was a girl there and i instantly took a liking to her, she wasnt over dressed but she was dressed normal and i thought she looked wonderful but shes not everyones cup of tea (to cut to the chase she was a skater girl).
Well i had my eye on her and she had her eye on me too, she even come over to the bar where i was, stood right next to me and ordered her drinks which gave me the perfect oppurtunity to talk to her......but i didnt, i left it.

What im trying to say here is that if you like someone who you know or even if you take a liking to someone in a club, TELL THEM or at least TALK to them. you only live once and dont get many opputunitys to talk to people you really want to talk to. I completely regret not talking to her, knowing my luck she probably lives near me and we would be great together but i wont know because i didnt do what i had to do and that was just to say "hi" or something.

So guys and girls if you like someone, say hi! Start a conversation! Do anything and remember you have got nothing to loose. Even if you are turned down, just say "ok thats cool, see you around". Dont get all down about it just be cool and they will be cool too. Even if you know the person you like quite well, tell them. Chances are they will understand.

Sorry if this is gonna piss anyone off but i wanted to give people a little advice of what i done wrong and how iv learned my mistake for the future. Dont make the same mistake as me.....

Thanks for reading (if you did) and hope it helps a little.
Any replies welcome

Former Member

Thank you very much for posting! You've reminded me of Kim. She was a girl that I'd met at college. I took an instant liking to her. She flirted endlessly with me, and kept smiling at me in a way that no one had ever done before. She was a gorgeous blonde, by the way. I had loads of opportunities over two years to make my feelings known, but I didn't. I still kick myself today because of it. I so wish I'd said something to her. She doesn't live that far from me, but we're no longer in touch. I think she's at university now. Who knows, I might see her again one day.

Former Member

Re: Go for it!

Originally posted by RudeBwoy

What im trying to say here is that if you like someone who you know or even if you take a liking to someone in a club, TELL THEM or at least TALK to them. you only live once and dont get many opputunitys to talk to people you really want to talk to. I completely regret not talking to her, knowing my luck she probably lives near me and we would be great together but i wont know because i didnt do what i had to do and that was just to say "hi" or something.

well said, i've had the same experience as you once, totally regretted not talking to a certain girl, it's more annoying when you know that she was also interested in you, anyway, it's always worth the effort to say hi, you never know what could happen from there.

Former Member

The worst thing they can say is no. If it is no.. who cares? Not like it's the end of the world. Ego maybe a little damaged but no real harm done. If at first you don't succeed, try & try again.

Former Member

That is well said. Makes perfect sense. My only problem is this, as a shy person, who finds it hard to do just what you've said. Someone tell me why its so hard to approach girls and talk to them. Sure you only live once but sometimes, when ive had the chance to tell someone ive been to afraid to tell them just like you did RudeBwoy. Being shy really is shitty.

Former Member

Originally posted by Richeh
That is well said. Makes perfect sense. My only problem is this, as a shy person, who finds it hard to do just what you've said. Someone tell me why its so hard to approach girls and talk to them. Sure you only live once but sometimes, when ive had the chance to tell someone ive been to afraid to tell them just like you did RudeBwoy. Being shy really is shitty.

i think alot of it is about self esteem and fear of rejection, but what is the worst that can happen, 99% of girls who reject you just smile and say you're not her type or something along those lines, shy people fear the worst, usually a drink or two helps overcome this problem, not a suggestion though

Former Member

I get what your saying. I've always been very shy, though over teh last couple of years have become outwardly a little mor econfident but not when it comes to liking and then talking so someone. Im not really a drinker, in fact im pretty much tee total but i recently found an acoholic drink so might just loosen me up if im ever out.

I would agree in that it is fear of rejection and also the self esteem, thats something i lack big time.

Former Member

Hi there are some interesting replys here, looks like a lot of guys suffer from this "Female Fear" thing where sometimes we just cannot talk to women even if we know we are fully capable of being able to talk.
I didnt want to bring back any bad memories for anyone i.e. stargalaxy so im sorry for that.

One thing i have noticed recently is that a lot of blokes lack self esteem and confidence because its true that we fear the worst but other times we can be pretty confident with ourselves and others.

Richeh, i think the reason why its so hard to approach girls these days is because if we approach them, they are in full control of the situation and the pressure is on them to say "yes" or "no" therefor we place ourselves in their hands.

Indrid Cold

That's well and good, but only when there's someone who shows any indication she's interested in you. For some, no such person exists.

Former Member

Don't worry. The memory of Kim isn't a bad one, not in any way! I just simply regret talking to her. As for "female fear", I think I'm suffering from it. Nearly every woman I've ever met has been a lot more assertive and confident than me. While that's no bad thing, it does mean that talking to them is pretty difficult. Some have tried to talk to me, but that sometimes makes it even more difficult! Kim was so confident in herself that she sometimes scared me away!

Former Member

Originally posted by stargalaxy
Don't worry. The memory of Kim isn't a bad one, not in any way! I just simply regret talking to her. As for "female fear", I think I'm suffering from it. Nearly every woman I've ever met has been a lot more assertive and confident than me. While that's no bad thing, it does mean that talking to them is pretty difficult. Some have tried to talk to me, but that sometimes makes it even more difficult! Kim was so confident in herself that she sometimes scared me away!

In my opinion most girls are very confident, most of the time too confident.

Former Member

Some are confident, some are just downright intimidating. That said, I like confident girls. I think they could teach me a thing or two. (no pun intended)

Former Member

Hehe... I'd like a girl who'd like me for my shyness and find it cute. That's exactly what would break all my fears

A huge problem is when you don't get to fall in love for long periods of time, and when you do, you don't fall out easily either. If i got to like a girl in a few months from now, i'd really be happy, and i'd definetly (please correct my spelling) go for it.

Former Member

Women have said to me in the past they find my shyness rather appealing. One even said it was "cute". I suspect it could take a little while to fall in love with someone for me. But I often don't have the guts to act on my thoughts.

Former Member

The thing is though, you can usually, when out, pick up on whether a person is going to be approachable or not. Eye contact, smiling, body language usually give people away so i always find that you know who is going to be easier to talk to. I always talk to people as i would a friend and then i find it relaxes them and me. I don't bother going in for the full chat them up approach, it's pretty cheesy half the time.

I think i probably am pretty aloof and unapproachable, i've been called intimidating more than once by a bloke who risked it But i have to admit that i'm one of those people who doesn't really think shyness is cute. I've always gone for blokes with confidence or easy going ways as i used to be really shy and it always helps me if the bloke is chatty/outgoing as it puts me at ease. That said i'm a pretty confident person who's at ease with herself so maybe my tastes will change as i get older.

Well done rudebwoy by the way :thumb:

Former Member

Originally posted by Carolina
The thing is though, you can usually, when out, pick up on whether a person is going to be approachable or not. Eye contact, smiling, body language usually give people away so i always find that you know who is going to be easier to talk to. I always talk to people as i would a friend and then i find it relaxes them and me. I don't bother going in for the full chat them up approach, it's pretty cheesy half the time.

I think i probably am pretty aloof and unapproachable, i've been called intimidating more than once by a bloke who risked it But i have to admit that i'm one of those people who doesn't really think shyness is cute. I've always gone for blokes with confidence or easy going ways as i used to be really shy and it always helps me if the bloke is chatty/outgoing as it puts me at ease. That said i'm a pretty confident person who's at ease with herself so maybe my tastes will change as i get older.

Well done rudebwoy by the way :thumb:

I gotta admit there its so much easier to talk to people when they are showing the signs, she was showing the signs.

Also in my opinion its way so much easier for a girl to pull a guy than it is for a guy to pull a girl. I think most blokes will agree there.

Also im glad people appreciate what iv said in the first post, hopefully it will help a few people in the future so they can learn from my mistake