condoms

Former Member

Right, I need a bit of advice here guys. I have never been on the pill before and am very reluctant to do so because I am unsure of the risks and I don’t want to get fat. Therefore, any sex I have has to involve condoms, but I am a bit worried about the risk of getting pregnant. Can anyone please tell me what my chances are of getting pregnant? I’m safe as long as it doesn’t split or slide off aren’t I?
I’ve heard that the morning after pill is now available without perscription. Does that mean I can get it over the counter in boots just by asking for it? I could really do with some advice, as things often get extra hot and steamy over the festive season, especially with new year at the weekend. So please reassure me!
Love and peace to you all <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

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i'm not denying that women are stupid; God made them to match the men.

Former Member

I think condoms r the safest. Yeah u gotta make sure it dont split and make sure it stays secure. U gotta make sure u dont rip it when opening it, and make sure its in date and has the CE mark (or kite logo thingy) on it. Think thats it, lol. Hope this has been some help

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Keep the Vibe!

Former Member

Dont forget condoms arent just to prevent pregnancy thier to prevent sexually transmitted diseases too you know.

Getting HIV is a lot worse than being pregnant, you can have the morning after pill i fyou dont want a baby or you can have an abortion but you can get rid of some things.

Former Member

As well as spliting & falling off, don't forget the effect of lubricants like vaseline & baby oil!!! Try it, pour some baby oil into a condom & see how long it holds it lol.

check out http://www.thesite.org/sex/pregnancy/condoms.html

j9

Girl-From-Mars

i am an expert on the pill. only makes u put on a couple of pounds in weight, if ur in a relationship where u have sex, go on pill! aslong as u remember to take it within 12 hrs of the right time every day you're fiiiiine. but yes,use condoms to prevent STDs. as long as it doesnt split.

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It's better to regret things you've done than things you haven't.

Former Member

Originally posted by j9j9:
As well as spliting & falling off, don't forget the effect of lubricants like vaseline & baby oil!!! Try it, pour some baby oil into a condom & see how long it holds it lol.


j9

Good point oil based lubricant will rot a condom ( I assume femidoms are also latex)
like a maggot in an apple.

reminds me, found out tonight I was a dad for a few days / weeks

Luk

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The river is wide and oh so deep. I've been walking around in tears, No answers arethere to get. Cause between this world and eternity there is a face I hope to see

Former Member

Found out you were a dad for a short period of time? Care to explain that one to us Luka...even my great mind can't work that out! :-)

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I didn't lose my mind, it was mine to give away.

Former Member

Originally posted by Girl-From-Mars:
only makes u put on a couple of pounds in weight,

Thats lucky for you GFM, but it made both my sister & I gain weight! I think it's listed as one of the possible side effects.

j9

Former Member

Originally posted by LUKA:
reminds me, found out tonight I was a dad for a few days / weeks

Luk

More input required.
j9

Former Member

Check the Health section, j9.

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I didn't lose my mind, it was mine to give away.

Former Member

can i go into a chemist and just ask for the morning after pill? and they'll just give it to me without asking any questions???

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i'm not denying that women are stupid; God made them to match the men.

Former Member

No offence Whizzy, but I'm kinda dumbfounded that you would need to ask "condom or pill" in this day and age.

There is no "or" involved here. Condoms, while not 100% efective, are your ONLY OPTION if you want to reduce your risk of sexually transmitted diseases. Condoms are not particularly effective for birth control, so you should research the method that will work for you.

This is a generation that has grown up under the shadow of HIV/AIDS and ought to know better. The only reason I ever hear given for not using condom is that is doesn't feel as good and it isn't spontaneous. If you really feel that the extra feeling is worth going bareback, I invite you to come and visit my best friend with me.

She didn't lose her virginity until age 20. Didn't use a condom that night. That was both the first and last time she had sex. She was infected with HIV her first time, by a guy from her high school. You know what? She's not much different than anyone here. If you think that only gay men, IV drug users, and prostitutes are at risk, think again.

Sorry for getting so upset about this, but it does hit close to home. Put it this way...if you like a guy enough to have sex with him, you should have enough repsect to demand he use a condom to protect his health and yours.

As for the birth contral issue, go and see your doctor about it and do some research. You should probably concentrate more on factors such as the the way the pill puts you at higher risk for stroke and blood clots, rather than worrying about gaining 2 pounds. Also, the morning after pill is not a form of birth control. It is for accidents, but shouldn't be relied regularly. It is also not very effective (about 70%), and makes you feel really ill. Use it if you have to, but avoid it if you can.

Again, I'm sorry if I'm coming across as if I'm lecturing. I just don't see why young people should be dying from this disease when we know how to keep ourselves safe and it's something so simple.

Let us know what you decide on.

Former Member

Originally posted by Burnout_Girl:

If you really feel that the extra feeling is worth going bareback, I invite you to come and visit my best friend with me.

She didn't lose her virginity until age 20. Didn't use a condom that night. That was both the first and last time she had sex. She was infected with HIV her first time, by a guy from her high school. You know what? She's not much different than anyone here. If you think that only gay men, IV drug users, and prostitutes are at risk, think again.

Sorry for getting so upset about this, but it does hit close to home. Put it this way...if you like a guy enough to have sex with him, you should have enough repsect to demand he use a condom to protect his health and yours.

Thanks for that Burnout, do you know what I think? I think that your friend should write her story & submit it to Dom or Karla for inclusion in the main part of TheSite Website. It is a very important & poignant lesson.

j9

Girl-From-Mars

i could have written a more informative post if i wasnt suffering from alcohol intoxication at the time.. ok so i put on a bit more than a couple of pounds, but i thought that was worth it and outweighed the disasvantages of getting pregnant!! there is not a high risk of high blood pressure, blood clots etc if you are under 20 and a non smoker, like neglibible i was told. obviously you should use condoms, unless you KNOW you're in a monogamous relationship and that he hasnt had any other partners or has been tested for STDs. so basically use both, if you want to be safe on every front.

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It's better to regret things you've done than things you haven't.

Former Member

Originally posted by Girl-From-Mars:
so basically use both, if you want to be safe on every front.

That is exactly right!

Until you are in a stable relationship (and even then, it's worth the added precaution), condoms MUST be part of your sex life - mainly for STDs/ HIV etc - and the pill for avoiding pregnancy. But a condom should be the absolute minimum.

I hope you make the correct choice for yourself and stay healthy and happy!

Former Member

burnout girl do not think you're being a bit patronizing here? i am not some 14 year old virgin in a sex education class for crying out loud.
i know the risks so always use a condom, but my worry was the pregnancy issue not the STD issue. i am relying on a condom to protect me not just from STDs but from pregnancy as well and i was just asking how likely it is that i will get pregnant. this is not a pill or condom situation. your lecture whilst being correct was totally misguided, and yeah i am kind of offended.
also i have to say that putting on weight is actually a big deal for me - i know people who have gone from a size 10 to a 14 in weeks by taking the pill. i have had enough brushes with eating disorders in my life to know that becoming a 14 could ruin my life. it may sound shallow but my self esteem is not exactly high to start with, putting on weight might just send me over the edge.

sorry if it sounds like i'm having a go burnout girl, but these are touchy issues for me.

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i'm not denying that women are stupid; God made them to match the men.

Former Member

whizzygirl, you are absolutely right, and I apologize unreservedly. I misread your post. I truly did think you were asking a "pill-or-condom" question, and I reacted that way because of my understanding of your question. I'm pretty embarrassed about making you feel patronized and upsetting you. Please don't feel offended...obviously the things I said don't apply to you. I feel very stongly about the issue, and I certainly would not take back what I said if someone did ask the "pill-or-condom". But you didn't, and I am really sorry that you were on the receiving and of a lecture you didn't need. As you said, "correct, but totally misguided". I'm very sorry.

Anyway, hopefully I can help with your questions. The official stat for condoms is that they are between 88 and 97% effective in preventing pregnancy. I say official because the numbers are based on using the method perfectly, which doesn't happen in real life. If you don't want to get pregnant, you really should use a back-up method.

As for the pill, I didn't mean to sound flippant about the weight gain issue and I wasn't clear about what I meant. With your history of eating disorders, weight gain is a big concern, but I don't think you need to worry much. Although the pill has a reputation for making you gain weight, it isn't really true. Less than 5% of women gain weight, and it is normally only 2-3 pounds due to fluid retention. Another 5% of women lose weight on the pill, but the vast majority don't have any change at all.

One thing I should mention in case it affects you: I don't know if your eating disorders and self-esteem issues have any link with depression, because if so, you may want to steer clear of the pill. One of the more common side effects if that it can cause or worsen depression. I had to stop taking the pill because it was so bad.

Again whizzygirl, I'm really sorry about the mistake. I'm gonna go and enroll in reading comprehension classes in the morning! Am I forgiven?

Burnout_Girl

Former Member

of course you're forgiven burnout girl! i'm still very unsure about the pill though. my past anorexia/depression might come back, mighten it? i'm really scared of that happening. its just i really don't wanna get pregnant, so its seems the pill is my only option. i'll let you know when i make a decision.
luv and peace guys xxx

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i'm not denying that women are stupid; God made them to match the men.

[This message has been edited by whizzygirl (edited 30-12-2000).]

Former Member

ok i just have to interrupt my topic to tell you all: I'M A CRAZY POSTER YAY!!!!

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i'm not denying that women are stupid; God made them to match the men.

Former Member

Originally posted by whizzygirl:
ok i just have to interrupt my topic to tell you all: I'M A CRAZY POSTER YAY!!!!

Way to go whizzy girl, congrats

j9

Former Member

I'd like to add my bit if I can.
I posted on here a few weeks ago with my dilemna about my ex-gf and her pregnancy that she didnt tell me about. Anyway, don't use condoms on their own. They are ok for "random meetings" with strangers, but if you are in a relationship and only using condoms then you are playing the odds. There maynot be a great risk the first or second time, but each time you do it the risk increases. That's why I learnt from my mistake and now use 2 forms of protection. That way there is under 1% chance of me getting my gf pregnant. As for the weight gain, which is better, being a couple of pounds overweight or having to carry the extra weight of baby?!?!?

Former Member

whowhere, you're a guy right? you look at women and think "ahhh shes fit" or "eeww shes fat". thats what guys do, they like a women with a gorgeous body so they can show her off to their friends. if they go out with a woman who is overweight they feel ashamed of her and the woman picks up on this and feels bad about herself. this eventually causes the relationship to break down coz both parties feel resentment - him, that he can't show her off, like shes letting him down; and her, that she feels unloved. weight is a much bigger issue than people try to kid them it is. in our heart of hearts we all know it is.
i hope that made sense.

Former Member

Originally posted by whizzygirl:
whowhere, you're a guy right? you look at women and think "ahhh shes fit" or "eeww shes fat". thats what guys do, they like a women with a gorgeous body so they can show her off to their friends. if they go out with a woman who is overweight they feel ashamed of her and the woman picks up on this and feels bad about herself. this eventually causes the relationship to break down coz both parties feel resentment - him, that he can't show her off, like shes letting him down; and her, that she feels unloved. weight is a much bigger issue than people try to kid them it is. in our heart of hearts we all know it is.
i hope that made sense.

This may hold true for some lads but it is a generalisation. Lads may sometimes think "ahhh shes fit" or "eeww shes fat". But are you denying that women dont do the same??
All I was saying was which you would prefer, to be only slightly overwieght, or to be grossly overwieght due to you carrying a baby? If you'd rather look desirable than play it safe then that is up to you, but personally, and my gf thinks this to, a little weight gain is worth it.

Former Member

i'm afraid i disagree. there is nothing in this world i would risk gaining weight for. my size ten body is just about ok the way it is, i'm not ruining that.

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i'm not denying that women are stupid; God made them to match the men.

Former Member

Originally posted by whizzygirl:
i'm afraid i disagree. there is nothing in this world i would risk gaining weight for. my size ten body is just about ok the way it is, i'm not ruining that.

So you would rather have a baby all because you are concerned about the way you look???
What makes you think you'll still be a size 10 after you have had a baby anyway? If you go on the pill you will go up maybe one size at most, if that. And Im sure a lot of people will agree there is nothing wrong with being a size 12....
But if all you are concerned about are your looks then don't be surprised when you wake up one day to find you are pregnant because your only form of contraception failed.

Former Member

Who where I do understand what you are saying because my friend is at home as I type this doing a home pregnancy test (even though she used a condom) she may not be pregnant but there is the chance like you say,

but i think your being a little insensitive to whizzgirls eating disorders.

Former Member

Originally posted by Spirit:
Who where I do understand what you are saying because my friend is at home as I type this doing a home pregnancy test (even though she used a condom) she may not be pregnant but there is the chance like you say,

but i think your being a little insensitive to whizzgirls eating disorders.

I wasnt aware that she had any eating disorders. I am sorry if I have caused offence. However I feel that the best sort of advice is the blunt kind. The truth is always the best form even if it hurts. The good thing about these boards is that we are allowed to remain objective in our views and how we give that advice. All I am doing is showing Whizzy girl what the conscequences of vanity are, and that is pregnancy. If you don't want to get pregnant you have 2 options, sterilisation or using at least 2 forms of contraception. The choice is yours, and I hope in the end that your common sense wins over your vanity.

Former Member

Originally posted by Whowhere:
I wasnt aware that she had any eating disorders.

Then read the posts better, skimming over post & answering to what you think has been said is the quickest way to get your head bitten off here.

here is what you missed -

Originally posted by Whizzygirl at 00:10 on the 30th Dec:
also i have to say that putting on weight is actually a big deal for me - i know people who have gone from a size 10 to a 14 in weeks by taking the pill. i have had enough brushes with eating disorders in my life to know that becoming a 14 could ruin my life. it may sound shallow but my self esteem is not exactly high to start with, putting on weight might just send me over the edge.

and

Originally posted by Whizzygirl at 19:18 on the 30th Dec:
my past anorexia/depression might come back, mighten it? i'm really scared of that happening.

so you see, it's not a question of her vanity, far more deap seated and a rational concern.

j9

Former Member

Originally posted by Whowhere:

Originally posted by whizzygirl:
i'm afraid i disagree. there is nothing in this world i would risk gaining weight for. my size ten body is just about ok the way it is, i'm not ruining that.

So you would rather have a baby all because you are concerned about the way you look???
What makes you think you'll still be a size 10 after you have had a baby anyway? If you go on the pill you will go up maybe one size at most, if that. And Im sure a lot of people will agree there is nothing wrong with being a size 12....
But if all you are concerned about are your looks then don't be surprised when you wake up one day to find you are pregnant because your only form of contraception failed.

Let me just point out that eating disorders rarly have anything to do with vanity!!!!

Former Member

Originally posted by lolly:
Let me just point out that eating disorders rarly have anything to do with vanity!!!!

I have already said that I was not aware that she had any eating disorders Lolly!

Former Member

please read the thread before you answer it.
i am not VAIN ok?
you do not know what its like having to get up every morning and make yourself eat. when every bite makes you wanna throw up but you know if you don't force it down you'll easily fall back into not eating at all. if you'd been through what i've been through you would not call me vain coz i am fucking well NOT.

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i'm not denying that women are stupid; God made them to match the men.