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Little Billy...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
LITTLE BILLY ON GETTING OLDER

Little BILLY was sitting on a park bench munching on one candy bar after another.

After the 6th one, a man on the bench across from him said, "Son, you know eating all that candy isn't good for you. It will give you acne, rot your teeth, and make you fat."

Little BILLY replied, "My grandfather lived to be 107 years old."

"Oh?" replied the man. " Did your grandfather eat 6 candy bars at a time?"

"No" replied Little Billy, "he minded his own fucking business!!"



LITTLE BILLY ON...PHILOSOPHY

A teacher asks her class, "If there are 5 birds sitting on a fence and you shoot one of them, how many will be left?"

She calls on little BILLY. He replies, "None, they will all fly away with the first gunshot."

The teacher replies, "The correct answer is 4, but I like your thinking."

Then little BILLY says, "I have a question for YOU. There are 3 women sitting on a bench having ice cream: One is delicately licking the sides of the triple scoop of ice cream.
The second is gobbling down the top and sucking the cone. The third
is biting off the top of the ice cream. Which one is married?"

The teacher, blushing a great deal, replies, "Well, I suppose the one
that's gobbled down the top and sucked the cone."

To which Little BILLY replied, "The correct answer is 'the one with the
wedding ring on,' but I like your thinking."


LITTLE BILLY ON... MATH


Little BILLY returns home from school and says he got an F in arithmetic.

"Why?" asks the father."

"The teacher asked, 'How much is 2x3?' I said 6," replied BILLY.

"But that's right!" says his dad.

"Yeah, but then she asked me, 'How much is 3x2?'"

"What's the fucking difference?" asks the father?

"That's what I said!"


LITTLE BILLY ON...ENGLISH


Little BILLY goes to school, and the teacher says, "Today we are going to
learn multi-syllable words, class. Does anybody have an example of a multi-syllable word?"

BILLY says " Mas-tur-bate."

Miss Rogers smiles and says, "Wow, little BILLY, that's a mouthful."

Little BILLY says, "No, Miss Rogers, you're thinking of a blowjob."


LITTLE BILLY ON...GRAMMAR

One day, during lessons on proper grammar, the teacher asked for a show
hands from those who could use the word "beautiful" in the same sentence
twice.

First she called on little Suzie, who responded with, "My father bought my
mother a beautiful dress and she looked beautiful in it."


"Very good, Suzie," replied the teacher. She then called on little Michael.

"My mommy planned a beautiful banquet and it turned out
beautifully."

The teacher responded, "Excellent, Michael!" Then, she reluctantly called
on little BILLY.

"Last night, at the dinner table, my sister told my father that she was
pregnant, and he said "Beautiful, just fucking beautiful."

Comments

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol::lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Little billy with a grin
    guzzled all hiss daddys gin
    said his dad when he was plastered
    go to bed ur pissed

    sorry i know that was pointless
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    :thumb:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I thought they were quite good :)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    As much as I'd love to take all the credit. It was Docter Lurve that sent them to me. And it had me in stitches so just had to share it with you lot.

    I'm owning up now; cause I know when he eventually brings his butt back on here... he'll some how find this and claim it was him that found it. :rolleyes: haha
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Loved them :lol:
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    Funny enough jokes...
    I'm noticing that I don't laugh easily.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Awk well; can't win them all.
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    Originally posted by Cruel2BKind
    Awk well; can't win them all.
    The jokes were good, it would just take something extraordinarily funny to make me laugh.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    What would usually make ya laugh? I'm always easily amused. Brings out my innocence.
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    Originally posted by Cruel2BKind
    What would usually make ya laugh? I'm always easily amused. Brings out my innocence.
    Well, I have a strange sense of humour... "Billy" just made me smile, but if someone around me said (for example) "Give me the river" instead of "the pencil" by mistake, I'd be on the floor.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Zalbor
    Well, I have a strange sense of humour... "Billy" just made me smile, but if someone around me said (for example) "Give me the river" instead of "the pencil" by mistake, I'd be on the floor.

    I thought my brother was bad... Hmmm Stephen? :-/
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    Originally posted by Cruel2BKind
    I thought my brother was bad... Hmmm Stephen? :-/
    Sorry? :confused:

    ...A wild guess, but are you saying I might be your brother? lol
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Zalbor
    Sorry? :confused:

    ...A wild guess, but are you saying I might be your brother? lol

    Aye :p
    Sorry. Got a little paranoid there. haha
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Cruel2BKind
    As much as I'd love to take all the credit. It was Docter Lurve that sent them to me. And it had me in stitches so just had to share it with you lot.

    I'm owning up now; cause I know when he eventually brings his butt back on here... he'll some how find this and claim it was him that found it. :rolleyes: haha

    Right you are my dear mwa ha ha ;)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Zalbor
    Well, I have a strange sense of humour... "Billy" just made me smile, but if someone around me said (for example) "Give me the river" instead of "the pencil" by mistake, I'd be on the floor.

    that generally made me almost fall to the floor.....:lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Our Billy is brilliant :lol:
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