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Men
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in General Chat
Sorry if this has been done before but I just got it through an e-mail and I thought it was quite funny although some were a bit cheesy.
***MEN!!!***
-He Said She Said-
He said . . . 'I don't now why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it.'
She said .. . . 'You wear pants don't you?'
He said... 'Shall we try swapping positions tonight?'
She said . . . 'That's a good idea, you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa.'
He said . . . 'What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?'
She said . . 'Turn sideways and look in the mirror!'
On a wall in a ladies room . .. . "My husband follows me everywhere"
Written just below it . .. . "I do not"
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.
Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer.
Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds mature.
Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.
Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don't know, it has never happened.
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.
Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married.
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God..." ,the man says, "Why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
***MEN!!!***
-He Said She Said-
He said . . . 'I don't now why you wear a bra, you've got nothing to put in it.'
She said .. . . 'You wear pants don't you?'
He said... 'Shall we try swapping positions tonight?'
She said . . . 'That's a good idea, you stand by the ironing board while I sit on the sofa.'
He said . . . 'What have you been doing with all the grocery money I gave you?'
She said . . 'Turn sideways and look in the mirror!'
On a wall in a ladies room . .. . "My husband follows me everywhere"
Written just below it . .. . "I do not"
Q. How many honest, intelligent, caring men in the world does it take to do the dishes?
A. Both of them.
Q. How does a man show that he is planning for the future?
A. He buys two cases of beer.
Q. What is the difference between men and government bonds?
A. The bonds mature.
Q. Why are blonde jokes so short?
A. So men can remember them.
Q. How many men does it take to change a roll of toilet paper?
A. We don't know, it has never happened.
Q. Why is it difficult to find men who are sensitive, caring and good-looking?
A. They already have boyfriends.
Q. What do you call a woman who knows where her husband is every night?
A. A widow.
Q. Why are married women heavier than single women?
A. Single women come home, see what's in the fridge and go to bed. Married women come home, see what's in bed and go to the fridge.
Q. What is the one thing that all men at singles bars have in common?
A. They're married.
Man says to God: "God, why did you make woman so beautiful?"
God says: "So you would love her."
"But God..." ,the man says, "Why did you make her so dumb?"
God says: "So she would love you."
0
Comments
Real answer to this is that,
A, theyve been rejected by women so much they realise there better off being bastards
A: none, It should be open when the bitch brings it you!
that shouldnt have made me laugh quite as much as it did
And that be the truth :thumb:
Oi; sooo sexiest you
Walks off innocently
I can do the washing up, change the loo roll, scrub pans, iron and all those thing sexist men think woman should do
and ................actually im not painting a good picture of myself am i
Some good 'uns there.
Good wee lad!
I can't even iron... haha
I'd be a terrible housewife.
I just delegate.
i was on the phone to her once and she said the sounds were you hoovering in the background
A likely story.
GWST doth lie.
i can see you in a pink frilly pinny and marigolds, being a domestic goddess :yes:
Harsh.
Marigolds irritate my skin.
But apart from that;)
Ahh!! Kermit be a wench!!11 :nervous:
Yarr, but GWST be such a fine specimen she needs to be preserved Yarr..
really is a dark head with a wig