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Gareth Keenan from The Office - what to do?
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
in General Chat
In my place of work there's a guy who chats to anyone, is a Christian (I am too) and certainly is not a nasty person.
The problem?
He irritates the crap outta me. In fact there is no-one on my team who he has not annoyed on a regular basis.
He is 35 but can be VERY immature (on a recent team training session our team leader gave us 2 bag of those 'fun sized' chocolates, we all managed to salvage about one bar each, whereas he helped himself to ALL the rest which amounted to about three quarters of each bag. In fact whenever sweets or chocolates are given out, he always ensures he gets a BIG pile of them for himself) is VERY VERY boring and selfish, for example if he is with a group of people who are approaching a door, he'll push his way through instead of maybe occasionally allowing others to go first.
We could all be having a conversation about something and he'll come out with a completely random and obscure sentence, effectively killing off the chain of discussion.
Another example, we were discussing the recent Windows XP sp2 patch. He was telling us he installed it recently and I asked him how long it took to download it and in his reply, his exact words were "One meg".
This kind of puzzled me, I assumed he was trying to tell me the size of the file (it can be different sizes for people, depending on what's already installed) so I replied "Surely it's bigger than that? It was about 75Mb for me" and his reply was "No, I meant I'm on One meg connection".
But what the **** did that have to do with what I asked him???
You can see, he's not being nasty or spiteful (if he was then I could take action at work) he's just, well, irritating.
Let me be clear that I'm aware that I'm far from perfect and quite possibly I annoy other people. But he's so bad that many people at work avoid him where possible and some would rather take the stairs than share a lift with him him (we work on the 6th floor, that should give you some idea).
The question is, what do I do? It could be called a 'clash of personalities' as he not been nasty or conventionally offensive. The best way I can describe him is like Gareth Keenan. Only not as charming or charismatic. You see where I'm going with that.
It's now at the point where I avoid him whenever I can but seeing he is on my team it's getting more and more difficult. We all have IM at work and if we're doing a project or assignment, he'll send a message around the team asking how we're doing. Is he doing that out of interest? No, not at all as he will then send a message to us all telling us how well he's doing and how fast he completed them etc - as if we give a flying ****.
I avoid him but he always actively tries to seek me out - I've never been the type of person to tell someone to **** off if they've not been nasty to me. As a Christian I know I'm to forgive but what can I do? I'm at the end of my tether!!
The problem?
He irritates the crap outta me. In fact there is no-one on my team who he has not annoyed on a regular basis.
He is 35 but can be VERY immature (on a recent team training session our team leader gave us 2 bag of those 'fun sized' chocolates, we all managed to salvage about one bar each, whereas he helped himself to ALL the rest which amounted to about three quarters of each bag. In fact whenever sweets or chocolates are given out, he always ensures he gets a BIG pile of them for himself) is VERY VERY boring and selfish, for example if he is with a group of people who are approaching a door, he'll push his way through instead of maybe occasionally allowing others to go first.
We could all be having a conversation about something and he'll come out with a completely random and obscure sentence, effectively killing off the chain of discussion.
Another example, we were discussing the recent Windows XP sp2 patch. He was telling us he installed it recently and I asked him how long it took to download it and in his reply, his exact words were "One meg".
This kind of puzzled me, I assumed he was trying to tell me the size of the file (it can be different sizes for people, depending on what's already installed) so I replied "Surely it's bigger than that? It was about 75Mb for me" and his reply was "No, I meant I'm on One meg connection".
But what the **** did that have to do with what I asked him???
You can see, he's not being nasty or spiteful (if he was then I could take action at work) he's just, well, irritating.
Let me be clear that I'm aware that I'm far from perfect and quite possibly I annoy other people. But he's so bad that many people at work avoid him where possible and some would rather take the stairs than share a lift with him him (we work on the 6th floor, that should give you some idea).
The question is, what do I do? It could be called a 'clash of personalities' as he not been nasty or conventionally offensive. The best way I can describe him is like Gareth Keenan. Only not as charming or charismatic. You see where I'm going with that.
It's now at the point where I avoid him whenever I can but seeing he is on my team it's getting more and more difficult. We all have IM at work and if we're doing a project or assignment, he'll send a message around the team asking how we're doing. Is he doing that out of interest? No, not at all as he will then send a message to us all telling us how well he's doing and how fast he completed them etc - as if we give a flying ****.
I avoid him but he always actively tries to seek me out - I've never been the type of person to tell someone to **** off if they've not been nasty to me. As a Christian I know I'm to forgive but what can I do? I'm at the end of my tether!!
0
Comments
You can always do what Tim does, play pranks and take the piss out of him! I don't mean spitefully, just make light of the situation.
And remember, it's unlikely you'll both be working together forever. You could be offered a job somewhere else, then you'll wonder what all the fuss was about.
LOL
I've had experience of those kinds of people, the problem with them is that they don't takr subtle hints, so I say blank him cold turkey or everytime he irrates you say 'stop being such an annoying twat' and turn away from him.:)
soz Russ T Bitz, erm maybe you could explain to him kindly that some people may find his actions offensive.
no seriously, that sounds like a really tough situation, and I dont have much constructive to say, just offering sympathy. Could you have a word with your manager? He/she must have noticed that this person isnt really working as a team. Maybe if other people have noticed it too then they could move him or just have a word?
Another thought is something my aunt told me, shes a deputy head in a primary school, and she says that every year there is always at least one child who its difficult to like, theyve probably had it their whole life. She makes a point of treating this child as the favourite, however hard that may be at first. It boosts the childs self esteem, because chances are, theyve never been anyones favourite before then. It makes them a lot easier to deal with, and they usually start acting a bit nicer too.
Don't know HOW you're going to do it, that's for you to figure out.
Being a Christian doesn't mean you don't still get annoyed, or people wind you up. It's about having the love to tolerate them, which is what is happening now.
But I'm really at the end of my tether, a man can only take so much!
I don't doubt it, although it's interesting I've never seen the bit in the Bible where Jesus says "Tolerate your neighbour if you can."
Leaving isn't an option I'm afraid - I've waited a long time for this opportunity!
Although I'm sure you'll find many instances where it says we are all sinners and fall short of God's standards, and that none is perfect enough to be completely sin-free
But you knew that
Anyway, I don't want this turning in to a thread on Christianity - anyone got any more suggestions??
Well this is it - how do approach him on the subject?
If you challenge (in a nice way) individual incidents, it might make him think what is and what isnt an acceptable behavior or comment.
When I say challenge him in a nice way, I mean maybe saying "why did you say that" or "why did you say it like that".
You could make it a mission to try and get him to be less annoying by gradual teaching of new ways and challenging his old ways.
The only way I can think of to get rid of the guy without hurting his feelings is to play him at his own game. Irritate the Hell outta him so he can't stand to be around you.
Personally though, I'd just tell him to fuck off :razz:
We've tried to be friends with him, in fact I tried to strike a conversation up with him the day we met to no avail. He seems to be very much lacking in social skills. This is then making it difficult for anyone to find a common interest with him.
That sort of situation then makes it hard for anyone to be able to feel comfortable enough to bring these things to his attention.
The autistic spectrum is huge and a lot of people go indiagnosed for years, people just think theyre weird.
Jus' have a quiet word with him? I mean next time he does something annoying tell him that he's being annoying.