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Bulimia again!!
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Hi there <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
I only discovered this site today and everyone seems dead nice and so am about to pour out my heart to yous all. <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
I know that there have previously been conversations about bulimia but it would appear that the last one ended up in a conversation about cum and spinach .... very entertaining but somewhat off the subject!! <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
Anyway, I wouldn't describe myself as bulimic but ever since I was 16 I have had a tendency to throw up after meals or skip them and excercise a lot .... the usual things. I've never been thin (minimum of size 10) and I would usually describe myself as a person of larger size. When things don't seem to be going well for me I start to watch what I eat more closely and stuff. I have a few friends that know about this but most of them aren't around anymore or I just tell them that I've stopped.
For as long as I remember I have suffered with sore throats and stomach cramps which I used to put down to just general viruses and period pain and stuff. However, having read the other bulimia discussions I'm wondering if this could be a side effect.
Anyway, maybe I am bulimic. Fuck, I'm confused now. I started out saying that I wasn't but not all that sure anymore. I don't always do the whole throwing up thing and I generally do it with an aim in mind ... i.e lose weight ... and I'm good about it. When I achieve my aim I stop doing it.
Well, whatever I am the question is could the stomach aches be something to do with it? Surely my stomach would have healed up by now as I've not thrown up on a regular basis in over year. <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="rolleyes.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="confused.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
I only discovered this site today and everyone seems dead nice and so am about to pour out my heart to yous all. <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
I know that there have previously been conversations about bulimia but it would appear that the last one ended up in a conversation about cum and spinach .... very entertaining but somewhat off the subject!! <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
Anyway, I wouldn't describe myself as bulimic but ever since I was 16 I have had a tendency to throw up after meals or skip them and excercise a lot .... the usual things. I've never been thin (minimum of size 10) and I would usually describe myself as a person of larger size. When things don't seem to be going well for me I start to watch what I eat more closely and stuff. I have a few friends that know about this but most of them aren't around anymore or I just tell them that I've stopped.
For as long as I remember I have suffered with sore throats and stomach cramps which I used to put down to just general viruses and period pain and stuff. However, having read the other bulimia discussions I'm wondering if this could be a side effect.
Anyway, maybe I am bulimic. Fuck, I'm confused now. I started out saying that I wasn't but not all that sure anymore. I don't always do the whole throwing up thing and I generally do it with an aim in mind ... i.e lose weight ... and I'm good about it. When I achieve my aim I stop doing it.
Well, whatever I am the question is could the stomach aches be something to do with it? Surely my stomach would have healed up by now as I've not thrown up on a regular basis in over year. <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="rolleyes.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> <IMG SRC="confused.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
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Comments
You may go through periods of now throwing up etc. but then as soon as something minor happens, you're back to where you're started.
Go and have a chat with your GP, and tell her what you've told us.
You won't be made to do anything you don't want to. You're still relatively young so it makes sense to get it sorted now as the longer it goes on the harder it can be to get over.
There are different ways to go about getting over these things that there is no point me going into here, but bulimia is not the end of the world. You are not the only one and you can get over it.
Keep that in mind, and get yourself sorted.
It's not easy, but it's worth it.
I have absolutely no idea why I have so little self-confidence about myself because when it comes down to it, I do have friends and a good social life and all the usual stuff. In fact I tend to be quite a loud and bubbly person and only a few close friends know .. or should I say ... have pointed out to me that this is just a facade that I put on.
The fact that you have friends and a social life is great, life does not revolve around what you eat. Don't alienate yourself, it's an eating disorder, not a disease so you're not some kind of special case.
You just need some support to get over a difficult stage in your life, it's not a personal failing.
Thanks again. xxx
Some useful info hereanorexia and bulimia
A bulimic's story
An anorexic's tale
Exercise dependency
Our whole body image special
More on counselling here
Hope that helps a little
Susie <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
Edited for lack of spaces!
[ 15-04-2002: Message edited by: Susie ]
I feel really fat lately, and this last week ive not been eatting till about 6pm, then when i have ive been sticking my fingers down my throat & throwing up <IMG SRC="confused.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> theres a boy i got close 2 on the net & started telling everything 2 & he chats to my mates & sed that if i havent stopped by next friday hes gonna tell my mum, i no that she will go mental! im so scared, all i wanna do is be thin (im size 12/14) i look really fat!! <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
i dunno where to go from here, i wanntedsupport from a friend & all she had 2 say was "oh Well" i felt really hurt! im scared to talk 2 a doctor incase they tell my mum!
Its all abit of a mess really!
Someone please help! <IMG SRC="redface.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
It should be dealt with ASAP before it develops into an eating disorder. You can't keep running away from it, you'll have to sort it sooner or later. Later will be 10 times harder.
There has been advice given in this thread already, you'd be doing well to take it into account.
Click on Susie's links too - there may well be some useful info for you.
Also, and without wanting to appear insensitive, making yourself sick is not at all good for your body. The acid of the stomach is not supposed to come up the throat, and if this happens regularly enough, it can cause permanent damage. Also, when you are sick, you lose a lot a fluid and get dehydrated without realising at the time. That's not good on a long term basis. Also, stomach acid rots teeth.
It is also important to remember that at your age, your body is still growing and developing - you may find that what you consider to be fat is perfectly normal.
HTH & good luck <IMG SRC="smile.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
I mean I am not happy that you have those problems, but it reminds me that you can be perfectly happy, even if you are not skinny.
Just wanted to wish you good luck, and that it will turn out all right.
I know that having your parents find out what you've been doing is a bit of a nightmare but will probably be better for you in the long run. The more people that know the less chance there is of you getting away with it. It's horrible thinking that everyone is watching your every move but these people do so because they care and worry about you.
If you truly think that you are fat then try to lose weight sensibly. From what you've said you're not actually fat though. It sounds more like a self-esteem problem than anything. Whatever drives you to throw up though, you need to deal with it because it will not go away on its own.
Good luck and feel free to email me again if you need to talk ... although I'm possibly not gonna be the most helpful person at the mo.
Loopi. xxx
I SUPOSE THIS IS 1 THAT I GOTTA SORT OUT 4 MYSELF, I NO THAT IT AINT GONNA B EASY!
<IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
Anyway, baby angel, check your PMs cos I've left you a more worthwhile message there.
I'm a recovered (recovering ??) anorexic. I've been a healthy weight for almost 3 years and my body is still knackered.
thanks to my disorder, i now have two lovely incurable conditions...
it's not something i'd recommend...
<IMG SRC="tongue.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> so that has gotta b a start aint it?? im not intending 2 harm myself, i just wanna b thin 4 my holiday in july!! <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">
You openly admit that you haven't put on as much weight as you feel that you have and I'm sure that you look great anyway. My friend once wrote me a story (about her own experiences with anorexia and bulimia from which she nearly died) entitled 'The Girl in the Glass' all about the way in which women see themselves as sooo much bigger than they actually are. What you see is what you want to see rather than what you are. If you have an image of fatness (word?) in your head then that is what will stare back at you when you look in the mirror.
Anorexia and bulimia are vicious diseases and so you need to try and sort this out as soon as possible rather than putting it off until you start getting down about yourself again. Legal Junkie and others have already pointed out the dangers of starving and/or vomiting and they're really not pleasant. At the moment you have a psychological problem but if you're not careful then it could develop into a physical one and I'm sure that you do not want that to happen.
Good luck to both of you (too lazy to go back and find out your names) and if you want to talk privately then email me. I'm great at dishing out the advice ..... but ...
Haven't I been good? Dishing out the right advice to everyone else .... taking it though is an entirely different matter.
Not really sure what I want to post tonight but just feel that I need to talk and get a few things out of my system. I do completely expect to get yelled at for what I'm about to say and really don't want this to seem like a pro-anorexic/pro-bulimia post cos it's not supposed to be like that. As I said I just feel that I need to talk and it's either you lot .... who'll be honest with me ... or the Samaritans who just tell me what they're trained to say.
According to you lot, I have an eating disorder, but at what point does obsessive dieting (crash dieting) become an eating disorder? It sounds silly but I don't personally think that I have one ... in fact I actually feel like I'm trying to develop one. I eat too much to be an anorexic and I don't throw up enough to be a bulimic and I don't excercise enough to be an excercise-mad type person. I'm just me, I have problems with my weight but surely so does everyone. Let me put this in a little more perspective for you all ....
- Sometimes I can go for about 24 hours without eating ... in my opinion, that's pretty crap. I'd really be shite at the whole anorexia thing.
- Generally when I eat, I try to throw it back up (unless I'm out in a public place, hence I try not to go out for meals with friends). I feel really disgusted with myself and sometimes it all comes back up and other times it doesn't. Usually after I do it, I just want to go back to bed because I am either so disgusted with myself for what I have done OR I am so annoyed with myself for not having managed it.
- As for excercise, well I try to do at least two classes a week plus I do trampolining. If I miss an excercise class I feel really guilty about doing so and so tend to either make up for it by not eating at all OR by eating loads of shite because I figure that I've already let myself down anyway.
I made my first post on this site about 2 weeks ago I believe. At the time I was worried because I noticed that I was becoming a little obsessive about my weight but to tell the truth I think that I just wanted some attention. I wanted people to 'think' that there was something wrong with me. Since then, I've just got worse but I've made a conscious decision to do so. I want all the attention that goes with having a 'problem' but I don't really want it to be cured .... well not yet anyway. I would say that I want to be thin but I want to be thinner than thin ... I want to be a supermodel. I want people to look at me and say 'hmmmm, she's too thin but I'd kill to have her figure'!!! I know that's shallow but I can't help it.
On Thursday night I went to a ball. I paid £26 for a bloody ticket and hardly touched my three course meal. Now I was pissed on this occasion and so did end up talking to a friend about all this ....
It all started when someone told me that I looked nice. At the time I didn't think that I looked nice (still don't in fact) and tried to explain this. Everyone assumed that I was just fishing for compliments and so continued to dish them out but I just became more and more irate trying to explain that I didn't want compliments. If I thought that I looked good then I'd take the compliment but as it was, I didn't feel good about myself. Eventually one guy (who'd been sitting next to me and noticed my lack of appetite and hasty disappearance to the toilet after each course) realised that maybe there was some truth in what I was saying and so sat me down and we had a wee chat. Since sobering up I am mortified about the whole scenario. The guy that I spoke to has said to feel free to talk to him anytime but I can tell that now he's sober he feels a little awkward about the whole thing. On the other hand some people keep bringing up the fact that I developed a strange body image obsession when I was pissed and they're finding it all highly amusing. Oh the mortification of it all.
As I was saying earlier, I don't even know why I'm making this post. I just feel like I need to talk. (Mods, if this sounds like a pro-eating problems rant then feel free to remove it.) I've just looked at all the stuff on the Site about eating, depression and anxiety stuff and did the body-image quiz which predicatably put me in the 'get a life, you're Shreks twin' category (and yes I know that it doesn't actually say that). I don't seem to fit into any of the categories however.
Aaaaarrgghhh, think I'm waffling now and I'm really sorry if I've just bored you all to death. If there's anyone on this evening that fancies a chat or would just like to comment on what I've said, please do so. I expect to be yelled at so feel free.
I think that's all for now anyway.
Loopi. xxx
But your last letter sure touched something. I don't feel ace about my body myself, and I hate getting compliments, as I feel that people are lying sometimes.
And yes I am planning going on a diet, not something drastic, just cutting all the junk out, to feel better about myself. And your and the others posts have made sure that, that is all I will do. I don’t need to go over the top, and your posts reminded me of that.
If you want to talk, you can PM me or add me to MSN Messenger if you have it…
I really wish you good luck with getting rid of your thoughts. I know it is hard, cause we all judge ourselves way harder than we judge others. But the sad fact is, that very few people are a 100% happy with what they have.
a few of my mates from college are also trying to lose weight and they take fat mataboliser tablets. they help your body get rid of the fat quicker and the instructions give you a healthy diet to follow.i don't know how effective they are but it's worth looking at all the different ways.
I apologise if this sounds like shite but I'm pissed as a pissed person!! I've tried dieting sensibly ... in fact if you've read what I've written you'll see that I do all the sensible things like go to the gym and not eat fattening foods and stuff but do I get any smaller? NO!!!!! I'm just a fat cow who will never be any different and so should just deal with it. No-one will ever want me the way that I am so I should just get used to it. *think should save typing until am sober again*
sorry for the shite
Edited to say that one really shouldn't type when under the influene of copious amounts of guinness ... plus one shouldn't really drink when one doesn't have very good self-esteem anyway. Think was just being a drunken misery-guts when I got in last night so I'm sorry about his post.
Sexy little thing ... let me try answering your question again in a slightly more coherent way this time. If I went to the doctor about all this then yes he would probably give me a nice sensible diet .. alternatively he might just turn round and say you're a size 10/12 and 5ft 2in so what's your problem? It might sound weird to you but when I manage to skip a meal or do a really hard excercise class then I feel really good about myself. In fact I'm probably at my most cheerful when all around me people are eating and I get to feel smug safe in the knowledge that I can go without.
[ 03-05-2002: Message edited by: Loopi ]
thing is i always heard about it and thought that the sufferer of the disorder said "oh im starving but i really cant face food because i dont want to eat". but for me i found out the hard way. there wasnt any sense of knoledge of what i was doing it was like id come home really hungry and as soon as i see munch i wouldnt feel hungry. even now i suffer with sore throats etc which i didnt know were a part of eating problems till i read the posts on this thread.
i hope it works out for you (im currently working on my problems too *good luck thumbs up*
~dappa