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Laugh.

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
What's the best laugh you've had all day?

Mine was this morning when a group of about 7 of us were talking and one guy bought a recent problem of his into the subject. Lately, he's been getting up early in the morning and for some odd reason, old fashioned phrases/statements have just been popping into his head. The other night it was "By Joe, I need more sleep", and last night in accordance to his tale (after looking at the time) he said aloud "I pity the poor fellow who has to get up at this time". This actually reduced me to tears. Not only the fact that he thought it but the fact that he said it out loud; that and he did a bloody good impression of how it should be said. He's not posh, either.

So funny.

Anyone else had a big laugh today? Don't post anything shit, and thank me for adding an, IMHO, interesting thread to the forum. ;[

Comments

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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    well i'll go to the foot of our stairs!
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    JsTJsT Posts: 18,268 Skive's The Limit
    At work earlier I transfered a caller to EasyJ*t (as they rang us by mistake). Instead of transfering the call I confrenced it so I can hear what was being said. I kept randomly pressing numbers on the phone so it beeped on the line, and the customer and the dude from EasyJ*t were arguing over who was pressing the buttons and then the guy from EasyJ*t swore and hung up. I was in stitches.

    (perhaps you had to hear it)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I can actually see how that'd be quite funny. ;o
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Scared the hell outta somebody today by jumping out at them... I'm not a big one for laughter tho.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Was discussing with a lad from college the increased amounts of tennants super cans, white lightning bottles and drunkards that seemed to be around town, when he reminded me that it was giro day. We got into a very funny conversation about securicor men working around the clock to ensure there was an adequate amount of aformentioned alcoholic beverages in the shops.

    Suppose you had to be there, but it was fucking funny.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My mate always leans on two legs of his chair, and always says "oh i wont fall off" thinking he's it lol and today he went flying! :D
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Minnie Driver was described as being "shield-faced" in the Metro. That made me laugh.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Me and my friends were discussing sun tans in the Sixth Form room this morning, whilst parents were being shown around the school, and just as some parents were walking through, one of the girls practically shouted, 'I'ld rather have my tits out, than my ass', not realising that there were several parents with young children right behind her. One father burst out laughing, turned around and said 'Don't mind us love, just carry on', she was so embarrassed, but you probably had to be there. :lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    DISCLAIMER: I am not racist

    In religion we were talking about the meetings between cultures, and we saw this shirt movie about immigrants in Denmark etc (it has gotten pretty good reviews and won awards). Well in the movie the man pouring drinks at the bar (he wasn't exactly a bartender, as it is the same as your pubs, and bartenders is a word reserved for hot guys working at clubs... either way) told the two men who were sitting and drinking beer "you know an atombomb sprung in Pakistan". One of the customers replies "No, really?" To get the answer "Yeah. And do you know how many were killed? None. They were all up here busy colleting benefits".

    It left the class in stitches. And before people go off on one, both of my parents are immigrants and I have blach hair and brown eyes.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Myself and four other mates were driving into town before a big night out, when we started a conversation up about STI's.
    My mate, whos name shall not be disclosed; who thinks himself to be the stud of the group, abruptly interupts the conversation with the statement: "I have never had an sexualy transmitted infection, and I've slept with more women than all of you!"
    We all looked at him shocked at the mans blatant audacity, before I cooly replied: "What about that time you caught crabs, and kept them because you thought they were money spiders?"
    He never had actually caught crabs, but it stopped my other mates giving him a good twatting for his cheek.
    I gotta add that the joke was originally a Jeffro classic.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    And today, my mate did his impression of the KoRn lead guitarist singer bloke. Made them seem talentless for just a second. Was so funny. ;<
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    None. I am ill. Please give generously.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I appreciate that it's not every day something so funny happens. Just wait 'til it does. And, stop trying to get sympathy and go buy a Lepsip omg. ;p
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Capacity
    And, stop trying to get sympathy and go buy a Lepsip omg. ;p

    Fuck Lemsip, have a hot toddy. ;)
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    Indrid ColdIndrid Cold Posts: 16,688 Skive's The Limit
    Originally posted by BritJames
    shit, or short? or just purely fabricated? *smirk*
    Or maybe it was projected on a shirt?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    The 'final warning' I got today.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    A whit for?
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Guy I used to work with works in The Sports Cafe now. He was telling me a story about this new start he works with called Larry.

    Their boss regularly plays practical jokes on the new starts and did with Larry - this is his tale.

    The Sports Cafe shares the same DJ with The Shack - Student night club across the road from the Sports Cafe - so Larry got the job of running the errand of handing the DJ his pay cheque in an envelope.

    So Larry walks out the Sports Cafe, up to the door man - who'd been told prior to Larry's arrival to make him wait in the queue to piss him off a bit. So Larry waits in the queue only to be told he has to pay in regardless if he's on an errand or not.

    Larry gets a bit annoyed and tries to persuade the girl at the cashdesk to let the Sports Cafe deal with the entry fee. After much pleading for around 20 minutes, Larry gets in.

    Spotting the DJ in his wee booth, Larry shimmies past all the wee studenty folk and hands the DJ the envelope.

    DJ opens the envelope to begin to laugh quite loud.

    "You Larry?" He asks.
    "Yeah, why?" Larry replies.
    "Read this!"

    The DJ hands the envelope with a letter back to Larry which reads:

    "Hi, I'm Larry.

    I think you're super sexy. I'm seriously single, have a small penis waiting for you and wish to love you long time.

    Fancy going for a swally? If ya know what I mean.

    Love and kisses,

    Larry.
    xxxxxxxxxxx"

    So Larry, mortified, storms back to the Sports Cafe to a warm welcome.

    The end.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i havent laughed once yet, someone give us a laugh
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When my friends were telling me about someone coming over to theirs, and he said he would be there in 5 or 8 minutes. Not sure why it was so funny, but it really was.

    Either that, or someones TV aerial-its so big its funny.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BritJames
    http://britjames.has-a-small-penis.com/ :rolleyes:

    take a look :p
    haha funny as fook!! poor u :(
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    GAWD!!! That's not work safe!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    This wasn't today but it still makes me laugh when I think about it. My mates and I play this game called "Who am I"? Where you have to guess a person by asking your friend yes or no questions. One of my friends can be really dumb sometimes, bless her heart, and this is how the game went:

    Jon: Is he english?
    Ian: Yes.
    Dumb friend: Is it Bruce Springsteen?
    My boyfriend: Ever heard of "Born in the U.S.A"?

    We were all in stitches, except for the poor girl. Hehe I'm laughing now.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    When my friend's sister found a new name for all the wollahs: martyrs...
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Today, I told this guy who was totally ghetto, that he had funny potential. We all laughed. Except for him :p I think he was gonna pop a cap in my ass after that. hahahahadklafj;sdjfap oq902385r0q394
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My mate Scott said at the pub on Friday night "If Micheal Jackson could go back in time, d'you think he'd touch himself?"

    I was crying for about half an hour.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    best laugh i had yesterday was my grandma trying to engineer a wedding between my 21-year-old cousin and his girlfriend of 2 weeks.

    the look of fear was priceless.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by JsT
    At work earlier I transfered a caller to EasyJ*t (as they rang us by mistake). Instead of transfering the call I confrenced it so I can hear what was being said. I kept randomly pressing numbers on the phone so it beeped on the line, and the customer and the dude from EasyJ*t were arguing over who was pressing the buttons and then the guy from EasyJ*t swore and hung up. I was in stitches.

    (perhaps you had to hear it)

    I think that sounds hilarious. :lol:
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by BritJames
    http://britjames.has-a-small-penis.com/ :rolleyes:

    take a look :p


    That is seriously scary.
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