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Sexual Abuse
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
A couple of months ago a friend (who shall here be known as Bob) had charges made against him for sexual abuse on his 12 year old cousin. Now at first I couldn't believe that he'd do such a thing, but something that happened today and yesterday has made me think otherwise.
My 15 year old friend (who shall be known as Bill) was giving him blowbacks (they were smoking weed) and then they kissed. The went to a more quiet area and kissed some more, before going to a public car pack, where Bob tossed off Bill and made him climax, then swallowed.
This makes me feel fucking sick. Having spoken to Bill, trying to pry some truth, he will not tell me anything, as Bob told me and said that I cannot tell Bill I know.
I seriously don't know what the hell to do...someone help!!
My 15 year old friend (who shall be known as Bill) was giving him blowbacks (they were smoking weed) and then they kissed. The went to a more quiet area and kissed some more, before going to a public car pack, where Bob tossed off Bill and made him climax, then swallowed.
This makes me feel fucking sick. Having spoken to Bill, trying to pry some truth, he will not tell me anything, as Bob told me and said that I cannot tell Bill I know.
I seriously don't know what the hell to do...someone help!!
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Comments
I really don't know what you can do in this situation, if Bill refuses to admit that anything has happened then it is difficult to know what to do, is Bill aware of the accusations that have been made against Bob? Perhaps there are some helplines you could ring that could give you advice on which course of action to take?
Sorry I haven't been of much help, but I think you're right in being concerned.
Edited to say, you didnt actually say how old Bob was here, as this may affect things if he is also under 16
I really don't know what to do. By the way, the 15 year old looks about 12.
Bob is 21. Bill does know about the accusations yes. This is such a hard thing to deal with, I don't know if I should go to the police. I mean it's not like Bill looks 16/17 or anything, he looks about 12. Bob has been buying drinks for Bill in college time when he has lessons, and I already told him not to do that, but he just won't listen.
:chin:
- I think because both the 15 year old Bill and the 12 year old cousin, are legally underage for homosexual sexual acts - so legally, it could be termed as Bob sexually abused both the 12 year old cousin and Bill.
- if your friend Bill doesn't want to talk about it, there is not a lot you can do. And even though in the eyes of the law Bill couldn't have consented; that does not mean he was forced into it.
Try telling your friend Bill that if he wants to talk about anything you'll be there to listen to him and support him if he ever wanted to take it further - but I think it's his decision to make.
Yes, well done. You'll note that the age of bob wasn't posted until I asked.
If the lass was 15 would you?
Er no, didn't think so.
Don't do anything or say anything. It really isn't worth it- if Bill is being abused I doubt they'd be so open about it, and whilst that age gap is distasteful, it proves nothing.
As for the other issue, well, wait and see.
If he was already a suspect for messing with under age people yeah.
He's digging his own grave IMO.
The key word there is "suspect". It has happened before many times where kids have said someone has sexually abused them just to "teach them a lesson". I think of a case about three years ago, where three bullies said their victim had tried to rape them.
I aren't saying anything by that, except in terms of sexual crimes I wait until judgement time before supposing anything.
ETA: I'd just turned 16.
Though, for the record, this Bob sounds like a wad of spunked on kleenex, and you'd be better off without.
I knew who you meant.
But seriously, if you had been made out to have sexually abused people then wouldnt you go out your way to make sure everyone you done sexual things with was of age? I know I sure as hell would.
I agree. He says he just doesn't care anymore and that he's suicidal. My mum and sister take a little pity on him because he has aspurges, they think that he could have done it but not known that it was wrong. When he told me I made sure he knew it was wrong. :-\
Aye, definitely.
He sounds dubious at best, to be quite honest, even if everything he's done is perfectly legal and above board.
Well, thats why I said I'd have his knee caps broken. Sorry, I probably should have explained myself
Heh, that's alright then;)
It sounds like you're having a really tough time at the moment and you must feel like you're faced with some really confusing and tough decisions and emotions.
It may help you to talk to someone who's experienced in dealing with this sort of thing so you might want to talk to SupportLine on 020 8554 9004. They'll be able to talk through your situation with you and help you work out what to do next.
I hope this helps some,
*hugs*,
CB
Also, if you don't want him to do anything to you, then stop sitting on his lap and confusing him with text messages saying "I'm lonely" and being all deep with him. You're leading him on man! Stop letting him buy you things, stop hanging out with him and cuddling him. He has difficulty with social situations and body language as it is.
As for Bill and Bob... The problem is that one of the things they tried to pressurise Bob in to saying when he was down the police station was about his sexuality. They asked him which way he swung and he said "I'm straight", they said "what the hell is that supposed to mean?" and he said "it means I like women, what else would it mean?" and they said "well, some men in same sex relationships consider themselves straight."
Don't know why the cops asked him that, but if he were to be caught with another man he'd go down for sure because that's what the police are like. I personally don't believe he is a pedophile, but then it seems in my experience that things work on statistics and not on justice. -shrug-
He didn't abuse anybody though
:rolleyes:
I sat on his lap once or twice, because he grabbed me and physically pulled me onto his lap, or wouldn't shut the fuck up about it till I did. I sent him one message saying I was lonely and he turned up at my house, I assure you every other message has been telling him to stop stroking my arms and having physical contact with me. I am not leading him on. He won't stop buying me things, even though I tell him not to, it's called "grooming", classic paedophile trait I'm afraid. I don't cuddle him, he grabs me or asks me for a hug 500 times till I reluctantly say yes then try to get it over with, but not before he tries to feel my arse or nibble my ear.
If he were caught with another man who was of age they couldn't say shit. He could say he's gay, he could say he has a boyfriend and they couldn't use that as bias because it's HOMOPHOBIC, something the police are trying to stop. You have this warped view of the police, because you meet one bad police man every now and then? Get over the fact that the police can in fact help, and that people who go down are 99% of the time in fact guilty.
I must apologise for this comment. My sense of anger got ahead of the reality here, and I can't apologise enough for my reckless comment. Sorry.
I agree with you. And because Bill is illegal it is concidered sexual abuse, though Bill wanted it, so in Bob and Bill's eyes it was not.
Sorry, carry on.
Actually he bought me a tobacco tin back from Cardiff... Oooh dear he's trying to groom me! :eek:
If you don't like somebody you don't hang around with them or text them. You cut them off, stop being a pussy.
He told the police he was straight and yes there is homophobia in the Wrexham police force. They asked him if he was gay, that's illegal... as is invading somebody's personal space. It's all about knowing boundaries. I know other people who've experienced homophobia from the local police.
First time I've heard you say this, you're usually bitching about them because they didn't help when you were robbed. Or when Shaggy was attacked by a hammer, or when I was attacked as a child, or when my friend was raped...
The whole pedophile idea gets outta hand. A group of people who live a naturist lifestyle were done because they photographed the family and there just happened to be naked children in the photo.
I don't dislike the police, but the matter is that their behaviour in the interview was illegal. They had no right to ask his sexuality and act the way they did. If he was caught with another guy of any age it would only prove that he was lying in an interview and would thus go against him.
For the record Aspergers is difficult, heck, I don't understand it 100%. But one of the symptoms is a social dyslexia and behavioural problems. Sure he's attracted to men, but it doesn't make him attracted to children. He knows it's wrong to ever touch a child in that way and even if he did ciddle him, or have him on his lap it doesn't mean he was getting off on it (talkin about the little guy now, who he was accused of molestering).
And again... this kid made those allegations about Bob made similar allegations about his mother. He said she beat him up, yet didn't have any bruises. It is a difficult case, but I've known Bob for years and he's always been open about his sexuality to me and about what's happening. The thing is he doesn't lie, he's horribly honest all the time. In fact I don't think it's in his mentality to lie.