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what should i do... feel like self harming...

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
i need help, i feel terrible, my dad is abusing me and i feel like i have nowhere to turn to, my friends don't seem to understand (except for andy) i have just split up with my boyfriend, he is with another girl and they are saying they are in love, i miss him so much. i am so stressed with school work i just feel like cutting myself. i used to do it before but i found the will power to stop when i met my ex, things seemed to be gettin better and everything seemed to be ok, then he cheated on me and now i feel shit and i just want to start hurting myself again. i feel like he is playing me for the fool and i still keep running after him. he used to tell me he loved me but now i don't know. i find that cutting myself is the only way out. i used to always turn to it and now i feel like it again. please help me someone what do i do (please don't tell me to get councelling (sp? becasue i don't want to and it would mean telling my parents.) are there any other ways please help me i don't think i can hold back any longer <IMG SRC="frown.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">


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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I seriously recomend professional help from a doctor or similar. You don't have to tell your parents, you will have complete confidentality with the Doctor and your parents need never know.

    Individually I think it would be best if you took a step back from it all. Stop seeing your ex and don't worry about the school work, your health is far more important.

    Why not try alternative therapies like meditation? Voulantry work may take focus of your own problems while you help others with theirs. There are pleanty of options open to you.

    Look after yourself. As an old chinese (?) proverb goes:

    Take a glass. You fill the glass with large stones, this represents family and friends. Next pebbles are poured in, they mould around the larger stones. These represent your work. Lastly sand is poured in, this represents material possesions.

    If you filled the glass with sand or pebbles first, there would be no room for the stones which are clearly the most important.

    As for your Father, I don't know.
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    hey tek-ila. Im sorry to hear that you feel like this and from looking at some of the things posted on the site this looks like quite a common problem. Maybe if you dont want to see a doctor (which is probably a wise idea) then maybe try talking to someone else here on the site because everyone on here is here to help each other and they may know what you are going through.

    I feel for you because you seem like a nice girl (i put you as my friend in the 'if...' thread in anything goes <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon"> ) and although i cant relate to what you are going through i'm here to help and chat if you like? I had a friend a while ago that used to self harm and i know how destressing and frustrating it is to watch someone you care about doing this.

    Do you watch Hollyoaks by any chance? i know that at the end of the probgramme they normally put up a number of a 'self-harming' help line because of lisa who self harms herself so maybe trying something like that could help?

    Im also concerned that you say that your dad is abusing you and this leads me to believe that this is quite a serious problem. I don't know what kind of abuse this involves but i think maybe a call to child line or something simular could help you and also they would be able to discuss your options with you.

    my msn messenger address is mc_olos@hotmail.com if you wanna chat anytime about this or anything else you fancy <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    ive found you some sites that may be helpful;

    this looks like a good site- www.childline.org.uk
    www.famvi.com www.stopsexualabuse.com www.cyberinfo.com/selfharm.htm www.bbc.co.uk/so/agony/factfile/selfharm.shtml

    There were a lot more on a Yahoo! search so maybe do that if these are not much help

    take care <IMG SRC="biggrin.gif" border="0" ALT="icon">

    [ 07-05-2002: Message edited by: Schnap me Baby ]
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Sorry to hear that you are having such a tough time. If you are being abused, the most important thing is to get help for this situation.

    We have some helplines here: http://www.thesite.org/info/helplines/

    And some factsheets: http://www.thesite.org/info/legal/abuse/abusive_parents.html http://www.thesite.org/info/legal/abuse/domestic_violence.html http://www.thesite.org/info/legal/abuse/sexual_abuse.html http://www.thesite.org/info/health/other_mental_health/self_harm.html (helpline and more resources)
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    Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Hey there

    I'm sorry to hear that you are going through a bad time again. Doesn't it always just seem like when one thing goes wrong, then everything else just follows? Well, let's just break down everything and deal with each problem one at a time.

    It sounds like life at home for you is really awful. I know that you don't want to have to report your Dad for what he is doing but it seems unlikely that this is going to stop unless you make a stand. I know that it is easier said than done and you really don't want to have to report a member of your own family but it's the only way any of this is gong to get sorted out. There are many people that you can turn to ... as has been pointed out Childline is a freephone number and doesn't show up on phone bills and they can tell you the best way for you to go.

    As for your (ex-)boyfriend he just seems like a complete knob. I'm assuming that he knows the problems that you are having yet he's still rubbing it in your face that he's with this other girl. Sounds like a twat to me. You're strong enough without him and don't need him. He's the least of your worries at the moment.

    I'm sure you know but cutting yourself is not a way out. In fact it's just a vicious circle ... it may make you feel better for a while but then afterwards you have to deal with the whole guilt thing that comes with it plummeting you back to square one (if not somewhere even lower than that). As has been suggested go for a HARD walk or a run or something that gives you that same feeling of punishing yourself but without really doing you any harm.

    You mentioned in previous posts that there is only one person that really understands you and knows what is going on. Talk to that person ... and keep talking to us. It's clear that you know that cutting yourself isn't the best think to do so keep that in your mind. Nobody can force you to get counselling ... however if you could get it without your parents knowing then would that be better?!? There are many different ways that counsellors can be contacted ... through your GP (so therefore it is confidential), through a church, through your school, etc, etc.

    There are a lot of people on this site that can not only empathise with you but have literally been in your position before. We're all willing to listen to you though. You're a great person and we're all here for you. I notice that your post was made yesterday and so I hope that this isn't too late.

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