Ways to tell if a lesbian is in a committed relationship without asking?

Former Member

I was just wondering if there are any ways to tell if a lesbian is in a committed relationship without asking her? Do lesbians wear like rings on their hands? If so, is there a certain finger that they wear them on so that others know they have a significant other or are in a committed relationship?

Former Member

what difference does it make if they are gay or straight? surely the signs of telling if theyre in a relationship or not are the same...?:eek2:

Former Member

I think they ment more along the lines of wedding ring engagement ring etc.

And to answer the question i don't know, you could just casually drop it into conversation or something though?

Former Member

It makes a difference if they are gay or straight because I think I'm bi-sexual and have feelings for an older woman and I don't know if she's in a committed relationship, is all. I'm not out so she wouldn't be inclined to mention it to me. Sometimes she wears rings on her fingers and I had heard that that can be a sign that someone is committed to someone else.

And, yes, I did mean like an engagement ring.

Former Member

So if the signs for telling are the same as for anyone in a relationship, then that means that they do, in fact, wear a wedding or engagment ring?

Former Member

Well I think I'm right in saying that gay marriage is illegal in Fl, right? So the vast majority won't have wedding or engagement rings unless as a sign of commitment. But it's the same as unmarried, committed straight couples really. The chances are that if she is then she'll have mentioned her partner if you've known her for a while. Why not just ask? It's not so hard, really, it's a fairly normal question to ask. I don't think she'll read too much into it.

Former Member

Yes, gay marriage is illegal in FL and she lives in another state. I know for a fact that she's not married at all. I have known her for a while. She's never been married at all, I know that much, but she talks about this friend that comes over for dinner sometimes. I don't know the name of this friend or if it's a significant other. I'm just trying to find out if she has a significant other because if she does I know it's not a man. I probably should just ask her more about this friend and ask if it's a significant other. I just don't want to probe and appear nosy. I'm trying to respect her boundaries, esp. if she doesn't want me to know.

Former Member

Ask her... Or brin it up discreetly in conversation. For example, talk about relationships and ask for her opinion reguarding her experience.

Former Member

shes not tense?

Former Member

Ballys - I noticed that you have opened up other threads relating to this 50 yr old woman you may have feeling for, you just need to ask her babes, clearly its really buggin you alot so please just ask her, just be like "have you ever kissed a woman before?" she'll smile when she answers (if over the phone) that way you'll know if she's a lesbian, also my mates are gay and they dont wear any rings, i think most lesbian's are quite plain, i have nothing against them as i think i am bi-sexual myself (just aint got round to it yet) but in my experience of gay clubs they dont wear any jewerlly but some might so dont just go by my saying.

xxxx

Former Member

Yes, they have a sign on their head that reads. LESBIAN.TAKEN.

That's how they are round here.

Former Member

Re: Ways to tell if a lesbian is in a committed relationship without asking?

Originally posted by Ballys
I was just wondering if there are any ways to tell if a lesbian is in a committed relationship without asking her? Do lesbians wear like rings on their hands? If so, is there a certain finger that they wear them on so that others know they have a significant other or are in a committed relationship?

What the shit are you chatting?

You can't always tell that straight people are in relationships!

Maybe if you see two dykes walking on the pavement holding hands, you'd realise they're probably lovers!! :rolleyes: :cool:

Former Member

Re: Re: Ways to tell if a lesbian is in a committed relationship without asking?

Originally posted by kaptin pikarrrd
dykes

I wanna shoot you. Ohhh yes.

Former Member

Thanks for all of your replies. Some have been more helpful than others. I didn't quite like the "I'll shoot you" response. Of course I know that lesbians don't wear signs on their heads saying they are taken. The woman I'm curious about is older and she did tell me her longest relationship was 8 yrs so I didn't know if that was up to date or what. Thank you Aimz - that was my other post and I think I'm just going to hang out at some lesbian bar or restaurant and try to meet other bi women and maybe some les to befriend and maybe one will kiss me or take me on a date. Then I can tell this woman that I'm curious about that I went on a date with a woman and she kissed me, etc. then see what she says. That was a great idea. I am in the early stages of realizing what I am.

Former Member

Is the woman quite a good friend? Is she someone that you would usually talk quite openly to? Maybe you could try speaking to her about how confused you are at the moment about everything (just don't bring her name into it) and see what she says about it. That way she might open up to you about her own experiences and maybe that way you would get a near enough straight answer about her own state of play.

I did understand the question though as a friend of mine who got engaged to their other half started wearing silver bands on their wedding finger but on their right hand instead of left. They said it was pretty common practice to wear it this way. *shrugs* but maybe that was just their way of seeing it as concrete.

Former Member

Originally posted by Ballys
I didn't quite like the "I'll shoot you" response.

I think she was replying to kaptin pikarrrd....

Former Member

Originally posted by Ballys
I didn't quite like the "I'll shoot you" response.

LMAO! Sorry, as Icey says, it was for that kaptain pikaard dude. He's always disrespectful to anything, really.

Former Member

The woman is someone whom I can talk to. That's the problem...she always asks me a ton of questions about myself and I'm the one usually talking. She never gives me much of an opportunity to ask her about herself. She told me that her life is really boring and that mine is much more interesting. She is quite reserved, but alcohol opens her up a bit. I wouldn't say I'm really confused...I'm just realizing maybe that I've been in the closet. I really have a crush on her and I guess she's not my first woman crush ever. If I tell her that I'm confused then it would seem like I'm going to her because she's older. I need to figure things out on my own and then talk to her about how I got there.

Former Member

I'm glad you weren't all wanting to shoot me. I'm not an idiot...I'm actually quite educated. I just wanted to know if gays and lesbians wore committed rings is all.

Former Member

The reason I'm having such a hard time asking my friend if she's a lesbian is because I feel like if she wanted me to know she would have told me. That's why in my post, "Older friend, but not sure of her orientation..." I was asking how to find out. I'm just going to have to talk about my dating experiences with women with her and see what her response is. That is the best solution, I think. Does anyone think if I start telling her about my dating women, etc. and then in the same conversation telling her that I'm crazy about her that that would be too much too soon? I don't want to give the woman a coronary --maybe during lovemaking! Should I tell her about my dating experiences with women in one conversation and give her time to think about it and me time to email this website and ask for advice and then the next time I see her tell her how I feel about her? This is so hard and scary. I've never told a woman that I'm crazy about her before.

Former Member

just hint about you like women or slept with woman, gauge her reaction, leave it like that. if she does have attraction to you she will more than likely show interest in you and flirt with you more.

then you could take it further

Former Member

Originally posted by 1983
LMAO! Sorry, as Icey says, it was for that kaptain pikaard dude. He's always disrespectful to anything, really.

Heh, respect is earned!

Former Member

Originally posted by 1983
LMAO! Sorry, as Icey says, it was for that kaptain pikaard dude. He's always disrespectful to anything, really.

YUp, seemingly the sad type who gets kicks out of winding people up on web forums because it's safer to shoot their mouth off online and not get a smack than it is in the real world.

Former Member

That is a good idea David Grohl. I think next time I meet with her I will tell her about a date I went on with a woman and how much I liked it...just to see her response. Then maybe if she is les she will be more likely to tell me or if she has a gf, or maybe even flirt with me. That's safe and then hopefully I can still keep her as a friend without her thinking I'm going to jump her bones.

Former Member

Originally posted by MoonRat
YUp, seemingly the sad type who gets kicks out of winding people up on web forums because it's safer to shoot their mouth off online and not get a smack than it is in the real world.

Oh really??

Former Member

Originally posted by Ballys
That is a good idea David Grohl. I think next time I meet with her I will tell her about a date I went on with a woman and how much I liked it...just to see her response. Then maybe if she is les she will be more likely to tell me or if she has a gf, or maybe even flirt with me. That's safe and then hopefully I can still keep her as a friend without her thinking I'm going to jump her bones.

hope everything works out for you

Former Member

I kinda know what it's like to be attracted to women and scared... I mean I've felt attracted to both ever since I was in my earlier teens and it's nothing to be ashamed about. I'd say that you should meet some new gay people, go to clubs... or visit the GaydarGirls website (which I think covers outside the UK) to talk to them. I think I got over my whole sexuality issues by changing my way of thinking.

I guess in retrospect I can see why people believing themself to be swinging whatever way can be scary... But now... Well I don't understand why people feel there have to be certain groupings... Pigeonholes. One thing I hate with a passion is when people come up to me and say "so what are you? Gay, bi or straight?" because at the end of the day, why is a label to do with who you like such an essential part of who you are?

Obviously don't jump to too many conclusions about her own sexuality yet (unless she sports Doc Martins, no bra and a crew cut) because not everybody likes to scream it from the rooftops and she may just be straight anyway.

May I ask how old you are? Ok ok... I ain't gonna give the whole "fancying female friends is a part of growing up" shite because it's patronising. Just do what feels right and if it's meant to be then it's meant to be.