Divorce Proceedings

Former Member

My mum and her first husband (well her only husband) broke up about 17 years ago and he went off and got a girlfriend and they had a girl (who is now 17 so it was pretty damn quick)

My mum, a few years later tried to divorce him to marry my dad but he contested it and for some reason the divorce wasn't granted. Now he is split up with this woman he has moved on to another and is petitioning for divorce again. His lawyer is an imbecile. She writes like a 4 years old and every letter that has been sent has had different variations of my mothers name (which hasn't changed since he married her nearly 30 years ago )

One thing he has been warned not to do is send letters to my brother and grandad (mum's dad) especially now my gran has just passed away. But he has and now everyone is in a right state. My mum's been crying and her sister in law has been raging at her brother for sending the letters. Is this harassment as he has been warned not to?

My mum will go through with the divorce but she says she is entitled to something out of it as she has been married to him for so long and as he didn't let her divorce him years ago.

Former Member

i wouldnt say it's harrasment as its one letter.
harrasment would all depend on the nature of the letters as well, if they are threatening or malicious then i would say you have reason to go to the police but if they are'nt then (ok, not a law expert) i would say you have nothing to go on.
i would say that your mum is entitled to some of his property though as they have officially been married for a long time now so i think she stands a good chance of getting something

Former Member

The standard split is half, but that can be wiggled either way, this is only if they don't have a pre-nuptial agreement. Which has to be kept to.

Former Member

I don't really understand what he was writing to your brother and your grandad for, were they threatening letters? Reading between the lines, is he a bit of a tosser?

As for the divorce, the trouble is that they've been separated so long, so there's more than likely no joint property as such (although I could be wrong). The fact that he stopped them getting divorced all those years ago won't count for anything. If the truth be known you can get a divorce without your spouse's agreement. It takes longer but you can still do it. I looked into it all when I was getting divorced.

Former Member

Originally posted by Miffy
If the truth be known you can get a divorce without your spouse's agreement. It takes longer but you can still do it.

you have to have been seperated 5 years, i think, to not need consent (i read too much).


so yeah, if this guy won't divorce your mum, and his solicitor's a numpty, i'd tell her to look into divorcing him, if you can do without consent.

Former Member

Yes, he is a tosser. The letters were issued by his lawyer. Dated March last year for some reason. But going by the names printed on the last few letters I'm not syrprised. If he can't even spell his own wife's name what's the chance of him knowing what date it is? He's sent a fair few to my mum and he's come up to the house before but she's sent him packing. He says he doesn't have money but by the way he's living and the job he's got tells a different story.

Former Member

Originally posted by Jazza Bing
Yes, he is a tosser. The letters were issued by his lawyer. Dated March last year for some reason.

Well that's down to the legal secretary. My ex's solicitor was a muppet as well, my solicitor had a good laugh at the way some of his letters had been worded, very colloquial.

He's sent a fair few to my mum and he's come up to the house before but she's sent him packing. He says he doesn't have money but by the way he's living and the job he's got tells a different story.

Well his solicitor would have to send her letters if he's filing for divorce. That doesn't mean she has to see him at her house though. What on earth were the letters to your brother and grandad for though?! That I don't get. The letters I used to get had a really snotty tone to them and they always try it on but then that's what they're getting paid for I suppose. Take most of it with a pinch of salt.

I am seriously dubious about her getting much off him in the divorce though, because they've been separated for so long and they (presumably) don't have any children who are still minors or own a house or anything together. She can hardly say she's dependant on him either. A solicitor might tell you different though, I dunno.

Former Member

Originally posted by Miffy

The lettes that were sent didn't even make much sense. It was just like the date of the marriage, seperation and just information. It wasn't of any importance but he was still warned not to send anything out. There's supposed to be a part of his danger money or something thatin the event of his death my mum will get money but I'm not sure how that works.

Former Member

Originally posted by Jazza Bing
The lettes that were sent didn't even make much sense. It was just like the date of the marriage, seperation and just information. It wasn't of any importance but he was still warned not to send anything out. There's supposed to be a part of his danger money or something thatin the event of his death my mum will get money but I'm not sure how that works.

Well that makes sense because they're still legally married, so in the event of his death your mum is still his next of kin and gets everything from his estate up to a certain value, then it starts to go to the kids and all that. But if they get a divorce it might be different.

Former Member

Divorce solicitors are morons because there isn't the money in it.

Pre-nuptial agreements have no legal standing in the United Kingdom. You might as well wipe your arse with one for all the difference they make.

If I was your mum I would be taking legal advice about this case, and about the possible harrassment.