worried about a friend

Former Member

At school the other week I noticed that a friend had loads of cuts on the upper sude of her arm. I wan't sure what they were, and thjoughtn they she could of done them at the chipshop where she works- as they looked like burns...n e way, i asked her about them and she had a big stress at me- and acted really protective. This week I saw them again and they were worse- and her best friend told me that she had found a knife in her bedroom. I'm psotive that she is cutting herself.

I dont see her out of school- shes just a school mate- but I know that she is really unhappy with herself...but i never realised she was this unhappy...

I asked about them again, but she stormed off and told me to mind my own business

I really dont know what to do

Anybody help?

Former Member

Dont, whatever you do, pressure her into telling you whats the matter, shell tell you if and when she is ready. It sound slike she is harming herself, but being accusative about it willnot work..shell resent you for it.

Just be suppportive and let her know that you care about her and are there for her. It is really all you can do.

Im a self-harmer too, so if you want some more advice email or PM me. Im not quite sure what you want to know, so ask me <IMG alt="image" alt="image" SRC="smile.gif" border="0">

Former Member

This may sound a bit stupid, but don't jump to conclusions here. It does sound like she is self-harming, but there are other explanations too.

If you are barking up the wrong tree then it isn't helpful to constantly go on about it.

Kermit has very sensible advice to offer here, and I generally agree. She'll talk about it in her own time. By all means make an effort to be friendly to her and build her up, but not to the point of interference.

Best of luck.

Former Member

Self-harming isnt attention-seeking though, although sometimes you do hope that someone notices, just to see if anyone does actually care. Dont think ur friend is just after attention, because she very probably isnt.

As for your friend at college Melissa, its not something thats easy to mention. If she was trying to hide it, then you pointing it out wont make her feel good. Maybe try and tactfully ask if everything is ok, and just try and be supportive. It sounds really bad, but there really is very little you can do to help someone who is self-harming. They will get help when they are ready, or, more accurately, they will be more likely to talk to you when they are ready. Being accusative just drives them away.
Read this about self-harm and also do some searches on things like Google, its very useful to understand how people are feeling.

Yes the subject is shocking, but the last thing you need to be around a self-harmer is shocked.