Can't make a decision

Former Member

I need to make a decision, but no matter how hard I try I can't do it. I've been with my fella for 2 years and we have had our ups and downs, even split up for a few months last years because I was in a mess. We are having a few problems and arguing a bit more often than usual. Thing is last week I spoke to an 'old flame' and he said he still interested in me. He knows I'm with someone, but says if I'm ever interested to get in touch. I'm so tempting, cos I still like him, but I'm with someone, what do I do?! Half of me wants to split up with my fella and get with the other guy and one part of me doesn't cos I love my guy! I just can't decide!

Former Member

Personally I fail to see how you can love your current guy if you are even contemplating getting together with someone else. Once you start to consider straying or splitting up with someone then I reckon the relationship is over.

Sometimes 'what if?' thoughts can be normal, but when you're actually really contemplating it with someonem particulalry an old flame, then to me it is a sign you're not in love.

Be fair on your current boyfriend. How would you feel if it was him thinking the way you feel now?

Former Member

Think I'm only considering it cos of the problems we are having and the fact he doesn't want to talk about them and sort them out. But yeah I guess I obviously don't love him, but I feel I do, and my feelings for him haven't changed. Think I'm at a low point.

Former Member

Originally posted by BrainyFlower
Think I'm only considering it cos of the problems we are having and the fact he doesn't want to talk about them and sort them out. But yeah I guess I obviously don't love him, but I feel I do, and my feelings for him haven't changed. Think I'm at a low point.

He probably is too. Have you sat down together and tried to work though things in a calm, rational and mature manner or do you end up screaming at one another? If it is the latter then you need to do the former.

Former Member

I tried to talk to him last night, I told him how I feeling and what I thought the problems were. He says I'm talking a load of rubbish and there's nothing wrong. We didn't get anyway I don't understand how he thinks everything is fine and I'm not happy?!

Former Member

look sit him down and tell him to fuck up, if he doesnt listen to you then tell him how it is. after a quick word he'll hopefully listen to you and get the relationship back together.