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Stupid family members

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
argh! I hate those stupid people you are forced to live with. (The younger(older) bro is not included though)

Why can't they leave me alone? One day I'll go to the stables and refuse to come home >=/
I got those great days when everything is jsut great, then I come home just to have those shitty people all around me.

I'm going to stop trying to convince myself about my greatness, in the end I feel mentally beaten. Just want to disappear, go away, be somewhere else.

The worst thing is that I'm "throwing people away" without really wanting to do it. I guess it's just how I react to my problems. I have been avoiding the school counsellor, am afraid of talking to her, family members (the same one as above not included here either) ask me questions and if I feel they are blaming me for something I almost hiss at them back, it takes me seconds to wind myself up and 'counter attack' them before "running" away.

I feel so good for some time, then something happens and I feel so lonely... so pityful...

Wish I could see Andrá now... <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/frown.gif"&gt;

Sorry for this being so long... Just wanted to write it down.

-MM

Brennt barn forðast eldinn

Comments

  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    Fáf, dont ever apologise for making long posts, if you need to say something, say it. if people complain about the lenght of your post, then they're not worth worrying about anyway, their problem they have a short concentration span, not yours <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    i know what you mean abotu parents, mine have been totally pissing me off lately, particularly today. ive spent most of the past few days in my room feeling really ill. i go down for one small thing today and they all seem determined to have a go at me for everything possible and act like everything's my fault! i only wanted to change the sky digital channel, one min my mum says its fine, the next shes yelling saying she was watchign it. and my dad starts cycling through the lisitngs so fast i cant read, along with mum yelling, and then he gets all defensive, chucks the remote at me, i ask how to doo it and he yells "but thats what i was DOING!!!! give it back!!" and goes mental over the smallest thing and always makes me feel as if its my fault, and that im imagining any fault on the part of anyone else.

    when i was growing up i often blamed everyone else and didnt like to admit i was wrong. my dad especially has always said about this and how i should stop blaming others for my mistakes, usally in a VERY hurtful way. now it seems as though hes trying to make out everythings now my fault, as if hes makign up for all the times i said things werent my fault. i get the feeling that doent make sense. my dad seems determined to make me as insecure as possible, i dont understand him mot of the tiem and i dont want to, i just wanna leave home, only 9 months then i can go to uni.

    sorry if this hasnt been much help to you, i just know how you feel. you get home and everythign starts to go wrong, just when you think you're gonna have a good day.

    all i can suggest is surround yourself with friends and tell them all about it, people on thesite or friends of yours in iceland if they will listen. thats how i've always got through these problems with my parents, mainly talking to my friends on the net i have made. my boyfriend was my biggest ally, now i just have to learn to manage without him always there.

    (((((((((((((((((Fáf))))))))))))))))))

    that was partly for you and partly because i need one!!

    If you don't know where you're going, you'll probably end up somewhere else.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    I thank thee for your allmighty reply *bows to GFM*

    I read it before leaving yesterday, and it made me feel alot better. Thanks for your reply! =)))
    A "rare" net-friend showed up yesterday nite also, one of the few ones I feel like telling things.
    Without a doubt made me feel better about the day today.

    Today was better than I had hoped for and I went to meet Andrá and get wet... It's so nice to get soaked from time to time <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    I'm feeling alot better today, still trying to figure how to react to my nasstyness though. I'll have to think it through, and as long as I got the horses on my side I will manage to keep finding the energy to get up in the mornings and be around people. Oh well... another weekend to find the strength, I believe I can figure myself out... just need to figure out 'how' first <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;

    Anyway, I'm going to find some food before doing anything more than I already have (as if I ever do something) =)

    -Faf
  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    im glad i could help Fáf <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

    hope it all gets better for you soon.

    If you don't know where you're going, you'll probably end up somewhere else.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    My old horse was great i used to run away and sleep in her rug in the stable with her when i was upset, but my baby one is a pig,

    i go to the farm and sit in the stable with him on the straw and pour my heart out to him while he rips clumps of my hair out, lol.

    Dont worry bout being nasty we're all nasty sometimes, its human nature to lash out when u are feeling hurt and upset about something, we cant be calm and objective about things all the time now can we, <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt;

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Fáfnir VII:
    I believe I can figure myself out... just need to figure out 'how' first <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/wink.gif"&gt;

    -Faf


    A good counsellor should be able to help you with that one Fáf, why don't you like your school counsellor, if she/he no good?

    j9
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by j9:

    A good counsellor should be able to help you with that one Fáf, why don't you like your school counsellor, if she/he no good?

    j9

    She did ask me if I would allow her to call my mum and tell her about this, I didn't say really say no but she said she wouldn't do it. The same day I go to the stables and when I come home she calls my name and wants me to come... I was soooo scared that she had called my mum and she would snap. I was being scared of nothing though.

    Anyway, I've just been so scared lately, being alone with someone increases the rate of my heartbeat and I feel like I'll lose emotional control of myself. That's why I don't dare telling anyone, I remember that I wanted to master my feelings, control them as if they were my puppets.
    I believe I've partly been experiencing the failure of those actions.

    Lately I've slowly been discovering a new friend, I am more respected than she is, she can "insult" one of my "friends" because of it and I get mental support to do things I'm not used to do. ;)

    I'm feeling great today btw. Got soooo wet and my hair is still looking kinda bad... ;) But when you come back home, wet, tired and cold, you realise it was all worth it :)))) (as long as your family members don't start talking crap to you)

    -Faf

    Brennt barn forðast eldinn
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Ermm faf, i know ur female and i think i know what you mean but im sorry i have to ask cos im not too sure,

    *clears her throat*

    hahem,

    what do you mean you got wet??

  • Girl-From-MarsGirl-From-Mars Posts: 2,822 Boards Guru
    rain you idiot spirit! lol

    If you don't know where you're going, you'll probably end up somewhere else.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Originally posted by Spirit II:
    Ermm faf, i know ur female and i think i know what you mean but im sorry i have to ask cos im not too sure,

    *clears her throat*

    hahem,

    what do you mean you got wet??


    hehehe, it's been raining hard here, and since I've been outside all day long it's hard to avoid getting wet. *grins*

    -Faf
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