Cling-ons

Former Member

one of mine+my b/f's mates is being very very clingy recently and its driving us both nuts!! :banghead: i mean, i dont mind hanging around with this guy, and he's a nice guy and all, but it can get VERY frustrating when he finishes work at 5:30 (same time as my boyfriend) and comes straight round to his house before he even goes home every night without fail!!
My guy's only just got in and wants to eat his tea+have a shower, then relax+cuddle up with me for abit, but we cant cos of this guy!! It doesnt seem like he has any other close mates - at least he's never mentioned any, but its beginning to feel like he's stalking us!!
I dont feel like i can relax until he's gone home, example: he turned up last night and i suggested we went and sat upstairs whilst my b.f ate his tea+watched tv. so off we went, and he went into my b.f's room+sat down on the chair while the 2 of us sat on the bed! After he'd finished his tea i gave him a kiss (little peck on the lips) and his mate went "uhhh, public displays of affection, get a room!!!"
He always does this+im now starting to feel bad for holding my b.f's hand, etc - which i dont think i should feel :mad:
He turns up outside my b.f's work on fridays and saturdays, bcos he finishes b4 he does, and then follows him home+doesnt leave until late - sometimes 12midnight!!!
What can we do, or say to this guy?? I dont want to talk to him about it, cos he's very easily hurt, but its like he's becomming part of our relationship!!
Has anybody else ever acted this way...and if so, why??
Anybody ever had a cling-on mate???
thanx
SBG
p.s. sorry for the rant, just had to get it off my chest!!!

Former Member

I think maybe your boyfriend should have words. I mean, I was gonna suggest doing it together but you don't want to seem like you're ganging up on this guy. I mean your bf could just say "look mate, I do enjoy spending time with you and it's good seeing you and stuff, but sometimes I just want to go home and wind down with my gf for a couple hours, and just get a bit of peace and quiet, so it's not that it's not great seeing you and having you over, but could would make it a little less often so I can get some time to myself" and then maybe he could make a thing of going out with this guy to the pub one night a week so it doesn't feel like he's so close and in your personal space so much

Former Member

that sounds like a good idea, but its not so much the amount of time the guy spends with us, its more the fact that he just turns up+outstays his welcome. if only he'd text before he turned up and ASK if he could come around!!!

Former Member

A little talk with him is the only way to get him to see what he is doing.... i have been clingy to my friends before during hard times but i knew when i werent welcome and understood that my friends need some breathing space.... he may not even be aware that he is doing this. If he did he may change his behaviour.

Former Member

My ex's mate was like this. He did both our heads in. Me and my fella booked a holiday and he wanted to come. We talked to him, and said we want some space, we didnt mind him coming round, just to let us know. But he didnt take notice, so I got my fella to have a word with him...... say like look mate, we and the missus want some time together. It worked.

Just tell your fella to have a word with him. If you have a word on your own he might think your being funny, trying to stop your fella seeing his mates kinda thing!

Former Member

reminds me of donkey at the start of shrek two when fiona and shrek are looking to shag. hehe i love that film

Former Member

Originally posted by evil_dave
reminds me of donkey at the start of shrek two when fiona and shrek are looking to shag. hehe i love that film

uh hu :yes: thats wot its like - we're both horny as we aint seen each other all day, but cant do anything bcos we just no this guy will turn up+interrupt :banghead:
Ive asked my boyfriend to ask him to text us/ring us in future, to check we're in b4 he comes around! he turned up again last night, while my boyfriend was trying to set up his new pc :mad:
Briony - good point about him thinking its me being a controlling g.f, but i know my boy feels the same so he's going to have a word!
il let u know how it goes, cos he'll probably turn up again 2nite :rolleyes:

Former Member

Ive gota mate whos pretty clingy, freaks u out after a while cos every decision you make seems to match theirs exactly i.e. same pub, same bus..:mad: although hes still a good mate, u jus need that personal space! has anyone ever had the experience of phone calls frequently when your with your partner..especially when your with them, from clingys?

Former Member

Originally posted by shamonmofo
Ive gota mate whos pretty clingy, freaks u out after a while cos every decision you make seems to match theirs exactly i.e. same pub, same bus..:mad: although hes still a good mate, u jus need that personal space! has anyone ever had the experience of phone calls frequently when your with your partner..especially when your with them, from clingys?

Well he turned up again last night, but amazingly not until 9pm, and he only stayed for about 2 hours!!!
Shamonmofo; he doesnt call us at all, just stalks us!! it is freaky when me+my guy wana go somewhere+he conincidentaly (sp) is going there aswell :rolleyes:

Former Member

Clingy people are often lonely... take him out with you some time to expand his circle of friends

Former Member

Originally posted by spongebobsgirl
Well he turned up again last night, but amazingly not until 9pm, and he only stayed for about 2 hours!!!
Shamonmofo; he doesnt call us at all, just stalks us!! it is freaky when me+my guy wana go somewhere+he conincidentaly (sp) is going there aswell :rolleyes:

Well just tell him that you still like and respect him, but you and your boyfriend need time alone too!

Former Member

Originally posted by MoonRat
Clingy people are often lonely... take him out with you some time to expand his circle of friends

we've tried this, but to no avail!! alls that happened was he came my house+was flirty+creepy to my sister (who's 3 1/2 yrs younger than him+has a b.f)
:mad:

Former Member

Originally posted by spongebobsgirl
we've tried this, but to no avail!! alls that happened was he came my house+was flirty+creepy to my sister (who's 3 1/2 yrs younger than him+has a b.f)
:mad:

hmmm i thought age differences dont matter

Former Member

Originally posted by wheresmyplacebo
hmmm i thought age differences dont matter

yeah, well its different when its your younger sis whos 15, and this lad is vitually 19 and acts like a major perve!! Also, she is taken!! Age tends to matter more when you're younger (and also im being the big over-protective sis, lol)!! Anyways, she'd made it clear she wasnt interested but he carried on!! And my point was more being made bcos how many 19yr old lads try to hang round with 15yr old girls??
my boyfriends nan's said that unless this lad is more polite to her, he wont be allowed to come round in future - he can be very rude :yes:

Former Member

i think u just need to be blunt.or change the locks+pretend not to be in.