need advice

Former Member

I'm this really shy guy in year 11 (I'm 15 now but will soons be 16), I have never been out with a girl before or kissed. I feel isolated from other people as most people seem to have been out/have a girlfriend/go to partys every weekend and pull.

I find it difficult even just to talk to girls, let along find the courage to ask one out. I did fancy this girl, also very quiet. I think she fancyed me too but she never said anything and I was too shy to say anything either. I don't feel like I have a chance of getting a gf as every girl in my year thinks I'm really quiet and shy and different.

It makes me feel really depressed, I just want to sort out my life.

Former Member

if u like a girl get one of your mates to get her mobile number and then just start txtin her and get freindly. Its easy to txt as youre not face to face. Try it! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/biggrin.gif"&gt;

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Love is the answer,but while you're waiting for the answer,sex raises some pretty good questions.Woodey Allen.

Former Member

ok you say that they think you are different, well wouldnt we all be boring if we were all the same? i can remember when i was at school (it wasnt that long ago!!) that i liked the blokes that were quiet & possibly "different" but thats cool. i dont think you should worry about the fact you havent had a g/f or a kiss girls will respect you for that. Try just saying a few words here & there & the look is most important. if you catch her eye just try & keep that gaze just for a while. she will know that you like her. just add a little smile at the end....it says everything.
i have come to the conclusion of "what have i got to lose" but it takes time to gain confidence, just take one step at a time. its wont always be like this. i was MEGA shy but im no way near now.
i hope this helps a bit
good luck & dont worry.

Former Member

I know how you feel, i'm in a similar situation to you. But these things take time...you can't expect to change overnight. Just try to become braver over time, put yourself into new situations that you may find 'scary' in some way, and try to develop more confidence. I know it's hard, but I know you can do it!

Former Member

I really feel 4 u, trance_mastaz!!

I'm quite easy-going w guys, don't find it hard to talk to them etc - but some of my friends are really shy around them, and they're in the same situation as you.

I think, from my experience of my friends, if u c what I mean, that u shouldn't worry about it - chances are, a lot of girls think you're really sweet but they don't think you're interested!

Try to relax and just treat them as friends - as you would other guys - and they'll appreciate the friendliness. If you can learn to feel more comfortable around girls and more confident, in time you'll prob find it easier to have fun and flirt...

...and believe me it's not all hard work - it's fun too :P !

Hope I helped,

x
Baby

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I used to be schizophrenic, but we're OK now...

Former Member

Thanks 4 your support everyone
much appriciated

Former Member

i am exactly the same yr 11 nearly 16 never had a g/f never kissed n e 1 i can talk 2 girls ok apart from the 1 girl i really like i just seem 2 freeze in her presence.

i realy feel life sucks at the moment but i know i'll get over it.

Former Member

Hey guys, have u ever considered the possibility that some girls actually might like shy lads?
I'd rather go out with someone shy, than someone who 'goes out every weekened to parties and pulls!'
The hardest thing is actually telling a girl u like that u like them... but if she's worth it u gotta do something! Anyway GIrls neva throw ur affections back in ur face, even if they're not returned she's not gonna be mean about it! I promise (unless u go for the loud, flirty type, in which case she might).
It gets easier from there, i doubt u'd be shy around people u knew really well, so u have to get to know the girl u like -really well, even if it's as a friend first!
xxxxxs

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Love looks not with the eyes, but with the mind-
Shakespeare

Former Member

You don't know what a person is really! like until you get to know them. don't have preconceptions. I, for various reasons, didn't know properly what my gf was like for a while, but one thing that we did do, is get to know each other properly. My gf, although she probably doesn't know it, konws me better than I know myself. I can and like giving advice to her, she often gives it to me but its best coming from her - cos I never listen to my own advice. And thats landed me in it a few times. She's the best person in the world, the lovliest. But make that move. The only advice is !!be yourself!!
Cos it wont work if ur not as ur being different people. Relationships only work in the long run if the 2 people r themselves.

Former Member

Well, I can certainly sympathize: I never kissed a lass until I was just past 18. :: Shrugs ::

As for being nervous around ladies, I tend to be quieter around ladies than gents - they tend to have a calming effect on me.

I really in no position to lecture here, 'cause I don't have a huge amount of experience, but my one piece of advice would be this: To thine own self be true. You can't act the part of someone else for your entire life; you have to be yourself and roll with it.

Not much help, I know. Sorry.

Former Member

Hi folks,

Just in case anyone is interested there is a good book called 'Dare to connect' by Susan Jeffers that is really helpful in teaching folks how to make friends etc.

I used to be a right weed when it came to blokes but I gained confidence with time. Like they've all said- be yourself and just make friends to start with-the rest will follow.
Good Luck xx