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Breaking up
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
Ok I've bored you all with how much I'm in love with Asa before now. Well trouble is we broke up nearly 2 weeks ago now. I still love him to pieces, am missing him loads and really want him back.
It doesn't help that I don't have a reason for us breaking up. It was some pathetic little arguement that brought it all to ahead, he walked out never to come back. But when I ask him for a proper reason he doens't have one. I just don't understand it. All feels like a huge mistake and waste of happiness.
I know we've got our differences and they cause problems at times, but certainly nothing that I didn't think could be worked out. But these do make me a little doubtful of pushing to get back together completely. Plus the fact this is the 3rd time we've split now. Seems same thing happens, I say one thing perhaps a little too far which hits a nerve and he walks away, no trying to cool off and then talk about it, just leaves.
Anyway down to the bottom line of it all. Last night I sort of told him I couldn't be friends which we were trying cos it hurt too much and everytime I spoke to him I wanted him back more and more. So I said I was cutting all contact. Now that hasn't really happened today cos of other circumstances, but it's more been argueing about a mate than anything why we've talked today. I just feel really bad, I've lost my best friend, love of my life and I really don't know what to do about it.
Any advice really. I know you'll all say plenty more fish in the sea etc. I know that but I really don't want any one else. I've never felt like this about anyone before and I don't even have my normal wish for a rebound relationship. The thought of even a hug of someone else feels wrong and upsets me.
It doesn't help that I don't have a reason for us breaking up. It was some pathetic little arguement that brought it all to ahead, he walked out never to come back. But when I ask him for a proper reason he doens't have one. I just don't understand it. All feels like a huge mistake and waste of happiness.
I know we've got our differences and they cause problems at times, but certainly nothing that I didn't think could be worked out. But these do make me a little doubtful of pushing to get back together completely. Plus the fact this is the 3rd time we've split now. Seems same thing happens, I say one thing perhaps a little too far which hits a nerve and he walks away, no trying to cool off and then talk about it, just leaves.
Anyway down to the bottom line of it all. Last night I sort of told him I couldn't be friends which we were trying cos it hurt too much and everytime I spoke to him I wanted him back more and more. So I said I was cutting all contact. Now that hasn't really happened today cos of other circumstances, but it's more been argueing about a mate than anything why we've talked today. I just feel really bad, I've lost my best friend, love of my life and I really don't know what to do about it.
Any advice really. I know you'll all say plenty more fish in the sea etc. I know that but I really don't want any one else. I've never felt like this about anyone before and I don't even have my normal wish for a rebound relationship. The thought of even a hug of someone else feels wrong and upsets me.
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Comments
No one else can either. It's really up to you. You can decide whether you want fight to get him back and to work things and ask him whether he is ready to do that to, and if you're both ready to work TOGETHER.
Otherwise, maybe it is time to move on, as much as it will hurt. But think of it this way - staying together just for the sake of it and being miserable will make you just as unhappy as if you separated. You gotta think in the longterm what is best for you and perhaps the answer is moving on.
I feel really bad for you, and I hope that helped a bit.
I know exactly how you feel, when my boyfriend of a year dumped me in January, I just missed him sooooo much, and was still in love with him for ages, but he didn't love me anymore. We'd been best friends for three years...I thought he was the perfect guy for me.
We tried being friends too, but at first it just upset me and confused me too much. Then I just decided to sorta not talk to him for a while, and go through a sort of 'i hate you' phase (although really i was just denying that i still loved him :rolleyes: )
umm yeah, but after that we chatted n said this is ridiculous. It's only been recently that we've gone back to being best friends, it's so hard though!!
i really would try and have a break, it'll let you clear up your head and get over him, without him being in your face the whole time confusing you!
i hope that helped...
You said it was one small argument that brouhgt it all to a head, but that one small argument must've set up a whole chain of arguments, issues, niggles, and problems. You've broken up a couple of times already, so things can't be running completely smoothly.
It sounds like there's something bigger, and that he has some problem that he just doesn't want to discuss properly.
You're right not to even stay friends. Seeing and speaking to him all the time will just keep on making you want him, and if it isn't going to work out, then it's pointless to keep on making yourself feel bad about him by constantly seeing and talking to him.
Sounds like you need to move on, and you know you do, so keeping in contact with him is a bad idea.
Now is the time that you'll need your friends to lean on, talk with, etc, not your ex.
What else can I say - plenty more fish in the sea, etc, etc, etc, blah, blah, blah, waffle waffle waffle. You know the rest. Eventually you'll meet someone else.
Hope you pull through.