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Sex with new parter/insecurities
Former Member
Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I'm dying to sleep with my boyfriend, but I find it so hard to relax because I'm so insecure.
We haven't really had the chance to get 'physical' yet, but when we kiss, its uber passionate and we get so turned on! Which is dangerous when in the pub methinks
But anyway, I'm dreadfully insecure, and this has caused problems in the past. First time sex (er, only time sex seeing as he dumped me a while later) with my Ex was awful. I just wanted to be perfect for him. I'm hardly a size 12 (well an 18 to be precise) and I am doing something about it, although there are other issues I dont like. For instance, I hate my boobs, I hate my stretch marks. I wouldn't dare leave the light on in case I made his eyes melt.
I know almost everyone has these issues, but I find it SO hard to deal with until I lose weight (this is going to take a long time!).
From a guys point of view....do you actually SEE all these imperfections? Or is it the general feel of the female body during sex and foreplay thats more of a turn on? Are you disgusted by stretch marks/cellulite?
I've always wanted the perfect body, and to be perfect for my partner, but I don't and never will. Hence my insecurity rating is sky high. Being told that I'd look better if I lost weight (by an ex) didn't help matters either, which lead to slight depression and self harming.
Men do prefer the slimmer woman, of course. I have curves...just far too many! Other than getting stoned and paraletic drunk, I'm not quite sure how to deal with this. I really want to enjoy making love but its so hard
*silences self with gag*
We haven't really had the chance to get 'physical' yet, but when we kiss, its uber passionate and we get so turned on! Which is dangerous when in the pub methinks
But anyway, I'm dreadfully insecure, and this has caused problems in the past. First time sex (er, only time sex seeing as he dumped me a while later) with my Ex was awful. I just wanted to be perfect for him. I'm hardly a size 12 (well an 18 to be precise) and I am doing something about it, although there are other issues I dont like. For instance, I hate my boobs, I hate my stretch marks. I wouldn't dare leave the light on in case I made his eyes melt.
I know almost everyone has these issues, but I find it SO hard to deal with until I lose weight (this is going to take a long time!).
From a guys point of view....do you actually SEE all these imperfections? Or is it the general feel of the female body during sex and foreplay thats more of a turn on? Are you disgusted by stretch marks/cellulite?
I've always wanted the perfect body, and to be perfect for my partner, but I don't and never will. Hence my insecurity rating is sky high. Being told that I'd look better if I lost weight (by an ex) didn't help matters either, which lead to slight depression and self harming.
Men do prefer the slimmer woman, of course. I have curves...just far too many! Other than getting stoned and paraletic drunk, I'm not quite sure how to deal with this. I really want to enjoy making love but its so hard
*silences self with gag*
0
Comments
Sure what the hell lose a few pounds get a figure your happy with, but dont do it for him, do it for your self.
Doing things like looseing weight for other people dosent really work. The only way it worls is if you really want it yourself.
And now for some tips on dieting.
Yes the atkins deit might be your best bet right now if you want to loose wieght fast there are loads of things on it on the net, I would find it for you but im lazy. If you feel like you want to snack, have a snack. Just dont have chrips, have some fruit or sone vege. My fav snacks at the mo are olives and spinage....not together of course lol. If im pecish all I have to do is put some frozen spinage in the microwave and 2 mins later I have a nice bowl of yummyness (yes im aware of how weird i am)
In stead of having a bowl of ceral mid meal, have a bowl of salad. Fills you up just the same.
Drink plently of water or friut juice and get off the bus a couple of stop early and walk the rest to get some gental exersice.
yep i agree with that snack when you want to, but eat something actually better for you, and not something less bad for you like "diet" crisps
if he didnt find you attractive he wouldnt want to go out with you, but he is so take comfort in that
and is that an almost frudian slip with genital at the end zella
Losing weight would prolly benefit your health, and make you happier with yourself by being less self concious but nobody is perfect and everyone has things they hate about the way they look (theres loads of things i hate but its the way i am so its tough luck really)
Put it like this if u were a skinny and bony he would probably loose u or snap u in half! Being larger gives him more of you to like
um...if this guy is your boyfriend then he must find you attractive, there for he obviously isnt repulsed by all these bad things you saya bout yourself. Personally, i tend not to go out with girls im repulsed by phsyically, i think that stands for all men...
...the perfect body? whats one of those? you really shouldnt listen to what anyone else has to say about your body...i mean it is YOUR body after all....
Men prefer slimmer women....um....No. lol. I know a lot of guys, me included, who prefer curvier girls. I mean, who wants a stick insect in bed with them? ...no but seriously, where ever this "gotta be slim to be beautiful" thing comes from, your boyfriend obviously doesnt subscribe to it, cuz he wants you the way you are....surely that must make you think that maybe your not so bad....? i dont know...you decide.
Hope it works out for you
-x-
...awwwww shucks
In fact bless you all.
I have tried the Atkins diet, but I realised it was shite and not good in the long term, so I'm back to eating right and gymming it 3/4 times a week. Its gonna take time, but I'll get there I guess.
I want to lose weight for myself and no one else, I just want to be comfortable with him and myself thats all. I'm not saying you've got to be slim to be beautiful, but I'm sure anyone would favour a nice flatter stomach to rolls of fat if they had the choice!
I know he finds me attractive, and he says that I have a nice figure, but urgh, I can't help it!
Damn my womanly ways!
But thank you guys, you rawk
The atinks diet is a terrible, terrible diet! It fucks your body up so bad, it's not even worth it, and that weight will just come flying right back!
You're right, girls are pretty whether they're rakey or curvey, you're all lovely, and yes, boobs are fucking fantastic.
Ok, I'm not a guy, but I have gone out with someone who was rather big...and to be honest, when you really like or love someone, it doesn't matter to you. For example, I usually find hairy chests not nice.... but with my ex I just loved everything about him, and he was quite hairy, but I loved his hair, cos it was part of him.
It sounds like you're both really into each other, so yu've got to try and look at the situation in a positive way- if he likes you, then he likes you for who you are, and it shouldn't be an issue. I hope that helps hun!
Yeah I do. Its not the size, its the shape and everything. They're sagging way before schedule and it does my head in. If I could afford a tit lift, I'd bloody get one! Theyre covered in blemishes and little scars too. I hate everything about my body, and its really starting to get me down again. I'm really *really* trying to change but tis sooo hard.
*sobs*
People have posted some really helpful thoughts/opinions and there are also some good articles on TheSite that may help too. Have a look at this article and this one too for the sex stuff. And you might want to look at the Food and diet section for tips on healthy ways to lose weight.
Hope this helps,
CB