decision time..

Former Member

..im not sure if looking for advice or i just want to see this all in writing to make things clearer ..but anyway........

ive been with my boyfriend for a while now and we're both really in love. However, we seem to be arguing more and more lately, ive been quite stressed with my A levels, home situation and the fact i no longer have any close friends (cue the violins lol)
Anyway , after our arguments we always make up and then we're back to how it was before as if it never happened. Last night we had an argument, and this morning he tells me he was walking around in the rain all night to think about things, firstly i told him how stupid he was for doing that and then ANOTHER argument sparked.

I know i keep hurting him with the things i do and say, and ive said before that im going to try and work on it , and i have tried so hard but im thinking maybe its time to call it a day because he'd be better off without the hurt im causing him. I said to him id rather see him happy than sad with me, but he says he loves me too much to let me go, and also that hes never loved anyone else as much. I feel the same, but i know its for the best that we split. He refuses to stay friends with me if we split as he said it will hurt too much to see me again. thats not something i want.

Tonight we are meeting up to talk about this face to face , and it will be decision time. Part of me wants to do it and knows it will be better for him, but obviously i will still love him and may end up totally regretting it.

Im kind of confuzzled to say the least. Any words of advice will be very muchly appreciated, i do apologise for the length of this post too.
x

Former Member

How about having a short break from each other so you can see how you really feel about each other? If you do want to be together then look at the problems logically - what do you argue about, how can you avoid arguing about these things? Maybe knowing when to bite your tongue and just saying nothing in some situations can avoid conflict. You could try putting more effort into your relationship - sorry if this sounds patronising, but make an extra effort to do things that you enjoy together.

Former Member

thanks for your advice Koenigsegg

i suggested a short break before, but he refused saying that theres no way he wants to go through that- then the ultimatum of we either stay together and work it out or we just end it- came up. so its something i wanted to do ( the short break) but hes not going to comply.

Maybe knowing when to bite your tongue and just saying nothing in some situations can avoid conflict

very true, and it is something i want to work on, as i have a very bad tendancy to say things in the heat of the moment.

Former Member

a break is another way of being able to go out with other people without the guilt, i would be completely against it myself. that sort of measure is the same as breaking up in my own opinion.

Former Member

My understanding of a break is where you are still monogamous but don't see each other for a while to give yourself some time to reflect on your feelings and where the relationship is going, if anywhere.

Former Member

Yeh- i agree with your definition, and i clearly defined what i ment when i suggested to him before about trying that. My bf pretty much said what grohl said hence saying we either stay and work it out or break up because a 'break' is as good as-apparently.

ive had a thought though, hes going on holiday for 10days on monday - 10 days where we obviously wont see each other. that itself is a sort of break isnt it? the timing couldnt be better....

Former Member

If you love someone that much, then stick together and try your best to work it out. You're lucky that you've found someone that loves as much as you love him. Do not throw that away in any case. I can't stress how lucky you are You'll end up regretting it if you guyz brake up and it wont be the solution, you'll both probably hurt more than if you try and work through it.