omg typical confusing women

Former Member

Hi this aint a rant, its more of a call for advice really.

Well heres the scenario:
Since september 2002 when i met this girl we instantly fell for eachother, it didnt quite work out and life went on blah blah blah. Well for about 6 months now we have been the best of mates and if we got any closer we would be on top of eachother basically. We can talk to eachother about absolutely everything for example i know when her peroid is and she knows when i masturbate etc etc (not that everyone wanted to know that :rolleyes: ).
Well since we met weve kinda been on and off as to liking eachother and its been an ongoing thing since 2002 really. Weve got hold of eachother a few time, slept in the same bed and "things" happened (foreplay).

Thats the background...

Problem is, lately weve been getting extremely close and talking about things more and we act as if were going out with eachother (hugging, holding hands etc) but we dont do all the kissing and stuff. Well the thing is the other day i said i liked a girl from work and she got very upset about it. She also thinks she likes me and i think i like her too.

Shes coming round my house this saturday night and staying because i have a free house. Shes been hinting about making a move on eachother but i dont wanna get hurt AGAIN. Shes also been hinting about us as a relationship saying "we would be great as a couple" and things like that.

Sorry if some of that made no sence at all, just ask me and il explain to ya .

Can anyone give me some feedback please? Im not sure what advice im after but any replies would be helpful. We are the best of friends and i dont wanna do anything that will ruin it.

Thank you

Former Member

what were the reasons it didn't work out in 2002? People change, maybe now you're both older it could work out!

Former Member

Well, i can tell you from a girls point of view that girls dont do that kind of thing if she doesnt like someone. How can she hold hands n cuddle someone that she doesnt like and find attractive?! I certainly couldnt i can tell u that! I cringe if somone does it to me im like LET GO OF MY HAND! CHEERS! I think she does like you again and the fact that you went out in the past adds to it that she obviously likes u n finds u attractive. It sounds as thought u both really like eachother, and that she is definately jealous that u sed u liked this girl from work, thats a sign that shes pissed off cus she likes u, and she doesnt want u liking anyone else. From your situation that uve given she definately likes u so get in there mate!

Former Member

Hey!:wave:
It seems to me that you both want the same things. It might be just me but is sounds weird to me that you both hold hands etc but dont do the 'kissing' thing?! Dont know why, I suppose the holding hands is more romantic but then you sed u've dun stuff? So you've not kissed eachother or wat?

I think it sounds as if you both really like eachother so just see how it goes. Ive been in the situation where I felt like I was goin out with sum1 and now its suddenly stopped. The thing is my situation is slightly different cos hes prob leavin the country with a job!!:( So im sure things will work out with you both. If you think its what you both want then go for it. Try not to be too full on if your not sure. Think you should just see how things develop and try and both discuss how you feel.
Good luck!:)

Former Member

You should lay it out and say that you don't wanna get hurt again but that you're ready to give it another go if she is. Life's too short to miss out on things that COULD make you happy, you just gotta risk it. It's better to regret what you've done rather than what you didn't do. Like that you've done it, and you can always learn from your experiences. Life is a lesson.

Wow..so deep

Former Member

Originally posted by natos
what were the reasons it didn't work out in 2002? People change, maybe now you're both older it could work out!

Well we liked eachother and everything, i liked her more than she liked me. Then her feelings were all muddled up, she couldnt decide so she decided not to do anything with me. We stayed as good friends after that.

Former Member

Originally posted by angel_2004

Hey!:wave:
It seems to me that you both want the same things. It might be just me but is sounds weird to me that you both hold hands etc but dont do the 'kissing' thing?! Dont know why, I suppose the holding hands is more romantic but then you sed u've dun stuff? So you've not kissed eachother or wat?

I think it sounds as if you both really like eachother so just see how it goes. Ive been in the situation where I felt like I was goin out with sum1 and now its suddenly stopped. The thing is my situation is slightly different cos hes prob leavin the country with a job!!:( So im sure things will work out with you both. If you think its what you both want then go for it. Try not to be too full on if your not sure. Think you should just see how things develop and try and both discuss how you feel.
Good luck!:)

Yep weve kissed a few times and once we even got to forplay.

We hold hands and stuff now but we dont randomly kiss eachother like a couple would. We act like were going out though.

Former Member

omg these replies are sooooo nice, i cant begin to tell you all how grateful i am

I might speak to her and ask her how she feels, also see how we can develop if she does like me. It wont be a problem because we can talk about anything.

I like her but at the same time i dont fancy her, i think that might be just because im scared of getting hurt again maybe?

Shes really looking forward to coming round mine this saturday and we will more than likely end up kissing (or more as last time we was alone we done more). But im not interested in the action, im interested in her. That sounds corny lol

Im still grateful for the replys Also sorry for the 3 posts, i dont know how to put more than one quote in one post.

Former Member

ah just keep an open mind and see what happens, cant be upset then

Former Member

If I were you I'd seriously start asking myself why it didn't work the first time and what's changed? If it was all about her and she wasn't ready for it then by all means, try again. If it was both of you then you need to accept that there's nothing to stop it not working again and in order for it to work you may have to try harder than you expect.

In my experience, girls who say that kind of thing when you're really good friend can really mean nothing by it. That probably wasn't what you wanted to hear. A lot of girls just love having a guy as one of their best mates. Guys generally love having girls as their best mates but it's generally the guys who make the mistake of getting too attached to the girl. this is probably not the problem with you because as you say, you've already been a couple in the past.

Next time she does some of these subtle hints, maybe you'd like to do one back. "We'd make a great couple" - "We were, but you fucked it up", that kind of thing; only not so direct. An option that most guys wouldn't want to choose would be to actually talk about it. If she makes it clear that she wants to give it another go, ask her what happened last time and if she's sure. Tell her that last time you were hurt and you don't want it again.

Some girls take satisfaction in knowing that guys want them and play on it for as long as they can. I'm not sayin this is the case, but I'd hate for you or anyone to be misinterpretating all of these signals if really they don't mean anything. I hope that isn't the case and hope it works out.

Let us know how it goes.

Tom.

Former Member

The first time she wasnt ready for a relationship but now she is. Also with the subtle hints i do give them back and usually they end up in some in some deep conversation about what we would be like if we were together.

I should ask how she feels, it would make life so easier and she will want me to ask. Were great as mates but would be better as more i think and i rekon she will agree.

Thanx for the reply