it's probably just the exams, but..

Former Member

I feel stressed and have a headache that painkillers wont get rid of, I cant sleep, I havent purged (trying to be healthy, hard) since last Sunday which just makes me feel shit, panicky and horrible, I've withdrawn from everyone, I dont feel like I belong anywhere, i cant talk to anyone about it because it's stupid because everyone has exams, i'm getting hot/cold flushed, my mum said I looked pale.. i dont know what's wrong, as i said maybe it's just exams, but i hate it. how can you make it stop? or do i just have to wait it out?
i used to cut, but after having to go to a&e about a month or two ago, i havent done it.. but over the last few days ive been wanting too so badly and crying for no reason, or for something stupid like because something didnt go exactly to plan, and a few months ago i cut badly, was depressed, purging 4x a day..i dont know, i dont really remember why or what i was doing (shit memory) but i know i dont want to go back to it and i can feel myself going that way and i dont want to.

(im sorry by the way.i just need to do something and dont know what)

Former Member

It is probably the exams that's making you like that.... I'm doing mine too and I've been a bit under the weather too (cold, nose bleeds, hair coming out). I know it's hard but just really try your fucking hardest not to cut - it won't make it better, it'll add to the stress and it'll affect how you do in your exams.

Just look for other ways of relieving the stress... there's some info here and here

And remember, they're gonna be over really soon!

Former Member

Originally posted by Psycho_Smurf
And remember, they're gonna be over really soon!

that's what's been getting me through!

just take some time each day to do something that makes you feel really happy, even if it's stupid stuff like painting your toenails!
and try to sleep more etc.

hang in there!

Former Member

*hugs* thanks guys.
i havent cut and im damn glad..i looked under my sweatband just know and got the shock of my life.. it's paler than the rest of my arm because it's not tanned, it had white crisscrosses all over it, and dark red and dark purple scars on top of that..shit it looks horrible..must not add to it..
i did throw up though..after 7.5 days of managing not to, ive done it twice....i dont get it..the stress is lessening..exams are finishing..so why????? dammit.

Former Member

Originally posted by burningwings
i havent cut and im damn glad..

well done

i did throw up though..after 7.5 days of managing not to, ive done it twice....

try to focus on the fact that you held off for 7 days instead of the more recent 2 - everyone has slip-ups and 7 days is really good.

Former Member

thanks.
but yeah. it wasnt exams. it's just gotten worse and worse and im hating it. and started throwing up again but still havent cut.

Former Member

Hi burningwings
First off, *big hugs* to you - exam stress is a horrible thing and it affects everyone differently. Just because the exams are finishing it doesn't mean that the stress they've caused will automatically go away. You need to readjust back to 'normal' life and that takes time. You've been really strong not to give in to your urges to cut, you've just got to keep focused on staying strong.

If you feel you need to talk to someone about your problems with self harm, there are many people who can help. Try the Self harm Alliance
http://www.selfharmalliance.org/
Tel: 01242 578820

The problems you are having with eating/ being sick can also be helped by talking to your GP or an organisation like the Eating Disorders Association - it's often really hard to talk about these things, but if you speak to people here they will understand what you are going through without judging you.
http://www.edauk.com/
Helpline (over 18s): 0845 634 1414 (8.30am-8.30pm weekdays, 1-4.30pm Saturday). Email: helpmail@edauk.com
Youth helpline (under 18s): 0845 634 7650_(4pm-6.30pm weekdays, 1-4.30pm Saturday). Email:_talkback@edauk.com

Hope some of this helps, take care

Hannah Spanner x