My mate told me her aunty was dead but she isnt

Former Member

my mate always wants attention. I cant beleive she made it up. She's always goin on about how stessed she is and how bad her life is when its perfectly ok. She lives in the nicest estate in town, her dad has 2 very succesful businesses. Then she makes stuff like that up when she feels like it. She's freaking me out and i dont know what to do. Plz help.
luv tisha

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Love is the answer,but while you're waiting for the answer,sex raises some pretty good questions.Woodey Allen.

Former Member

some people suffer from it and it can be a disorder called compulsive lying. I guess its not harmful its just people who might be a bit insecure or feel less noticed who feel that if they exaggerate or make up lies they will be more noticed and get more attention. Without sounding like a complete boff if i were you if you think that she might be telling a white lie then dont react so much that she is enjoying you being sympathetic and perhaps she'll begin to calm it with the knowledge it doesnt always work...i dont know if that will help but i hope everything is ok.xxx.

Former Member

If your friend is lying about stuff, then it could be a sign of deeper problems of insecurity. People who are attention-seekers are often those who need attention the most, but get it the least. You say she lives in a nice part of town and has a rich, successful dad- money doesnt buy you happiness.

Ignore her when she makes things up, but dont completely ignore her. If you give her attention normally, but not when she lies, she will learn that lying doesnt get the attention she needs. Dont hate her for it; if she says her life is shit, try and find out why she says that. Dont assume that because shes got a nice house shes happy- it often does not work like that.

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It matters not who won or lost, but how you place the blame.

Former Member

I tryed ignoring her lies but she just goes in a mood with me. I cant figure her out. I'll try what u said and not react as much,thanx for the advice.
luvya <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/tongue.gif"&gt;

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Love is the answer,but while you're waiting for the answer,sex raises some pretty good questions.Woodey Allen.

Former Member

When you know she is lying, make her know that you know. If everyone starts telling her that this is pathetic she'll soon stop doing it. By giving her simperthetic attention you are only making her more likely to lie again.

Outline her as the charlatan (how bad is my spelling?) she is!

Former Member

Originally posted by Captain Kirk:
When you know she is lying, make her know that you know. If everyone starts telling her that this is pathetic she'll soon stop doing it.

Trouble with this situation is it is the "boy who cried wolf question". What happens if she really is telling the truth but no one believes her?
I think you have to be careful sexylaydee as you are treading a fine line with people like your friend.

Former Member

Hey! I just wanted to say that I completely understand where you're coming from. My girlfriend is a compulsive liar. She lies about the smallest things all the way up to things that jeopardizes our relationship. She tells me that she lies because she's afraid of losing the people so close to her. She has no family so she clings on to her friends for dear life with continual lies. Bottom line, she's afraid of abandonment. I call her on her lies everytime. I think that that's something you should consider. Make her aware that you know. She may get in a funky mood with you like you mentioned, but that's because she's been caught. If it is such a problem that she can't control and that you can no longer tolerate, perhaps suggest seeking professional help. There's probably a deep underlying issue as to why she feels the need to constantly lie. I hope this helps you out.

Former Member

Hi just a quick thought, altough she wants attention does she actually get any from you and your friends?

When you an your friends go out do you invite her and is she always last to no things. Although you dont have to do it 2 obviously just do little things like ringing her up out of the blue to see if all is ok.