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Lost a friend stupidly anyone?

Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
I had this friend once we were good friends, i could talk to her about anything, we could be serious, have a gigle, or just plain chat. I trusted her and i think she trusted me, i met her over the net so it was a friendship earned by talking. She even asked for me to meet her (and no it wasnt closer than friends) and i was goin to, also she gave me her mobile no. Then she got this bf which i was happy for her greatly but she kinda changed..we stopped talking as much, and i was bored one evening so i sent a text saying hi (i hadnt used the number up until now) purely saying hi, and the next day she asked me why i sent a text and that i never text her which was true up until now and i said i dont really know i just thought i would. Then she said her and her bf had had an arguement over this (had an argument of me saying hi on a stupid text) i was so shocked and stunned, and apparently my friend and her bf shared a view that ppl they meet over the net should never be taken off the net (make sense?) like they dont want texts from ppl off the net and they dont want to meet ppl from the net. But if my friend did have this view then why

1. did she give me the number in the first place
2. why did she ask to meet me
3 and this is the most wierd one thats got me shocked, she met her bf from the net and they met up and got on really well (which is fair enough) so they have definatly passed the rule there i know its different i mean she obviously felt alot for him and made an exception, but to me it doesnt make sense

So anyway i went stupid and got into a bit of an argument which i dont normally do but i didnt want to lose the possiblity of meeting a really good friend in real life (i was scared of losing a good friend and annoyed that they didnt trust me enough to meet me) and to be honest i thought the view point they had was stupid and them arugin over a text from a friend saying hi was very childish. So as a result shes blocked me on every email and chat thing that we ever talked on.

I tried saying sorry many times, i wrote a lengthy email saying sorry. But i dont even know if she read them. Anyway that happened about 1-2 months ago, and i still think about how stupid i was, and how i should never have sent that stupid text, i feel ive lost a real good friend and i miss her and i keep thinking of it all the time!!! i want her back as a friend but i dont know what to do.

Sorry it was sooo long but i needed to get it out, if you have any advice of how i could possibly get my friend back then plz tell me, or any experiences of losing good friends can you also post as well, cheers.


  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Well I believe I can try to help you. I have been having a gf for six months through the net and we plan on meeting very soon. We live 3000 miles away. A similar situation happened to me too, when my gf found an email of another girl who I chatted with, and who told me she had feelings for me one day, and turns out that my gf read about this and she got very mad (she thought I was cheating on her with this other girl. I understand this, but anyways, I really was not cheating on her, and she knows it today so there is no problem at all). It caused a huge fight that lasted for days and days. However I have no feelings for this other girl and now my gf understands this, and fortunately I kept in touch and never ever let this incident ruin my friendship with the other girl in question who sent me this email that my gf read. Sorry if it sounds confusing...

    I analyze your story! And I can conclude that it all comes down to one word : possessiveness. When two people are together sometimes the guy or the girl tends to be possessive and jealous. That's exactly what happened in your case. The guy doesnt want to lose his gf (which is your former friend) and therefore he caused a huge jealousy shit fight when he read your hi message. The fight was totally pointless, yes. But she decided not to admit that it was pointless, and she decided to stay with the possessive guy and not try to change the way he thinks. Well that's her problem dude, she will get a lot of shit if she stays with this guy in the future. If they break up, I can predict she'll write back to you and say sorry for everything, and that she realizes stopping communication with you for a possessive and jealous lad was a stupid thing. In any circumstances, don't try too hard. That's the thing with distance relationships. Sometimes there are just elements on which you have absolutely no control especially when there is a big distance involved. Try and leave another hi message and see what happens. Or, send her another email and see what happens. If nothing happens then I suggest that you forget about this for a while, and you try again in a few weeks or in a few months, when you can't stand the waiting. Sorry I can't give you better advice.... Anyone has other ideas?

    ~There are three types of people in this world : those who can count, and those who can't.~

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    thanx for replyin dude, i might try emailing her again, lets hope she aint changed email addys.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    Welcome! <IMG alt="image" SRC="http://www.thesite.org/ubb/smile.gif"&gt; But it is just my opinion... you might want to have someone else's too and maybe some other folks here have better ideas...

    ~There are three types of people in this world : those who can count, and those who can't.~

  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    TBH, I think you should give it a rest for a while. Dont keep sending emails, shell have received them and just ignored them.

    Sometimes bfs (or gfs) put pressure on people, so she could be reacting like this so she doesnt look 'sad' for having net friends. You sent a text beacuse you got teh impression that she liked you; she probably did, but doesnt want to look stupid in front of her bf. If youve said sorry thats all you can do, its her problem not yours.

    Sorry mate, but dont beat yourself up about it. Just send an email saying 'hi' if you want, but dont say sorry any more.

    It matters not who won or lost, but how you place the blame.
  • Former MemberFormer Member Posts: 1,876,323 The Mix Honorary Guru
    i think that's pathetic!

    1. I hate possesive boyfriends- and to go crazy over a message that just says hi is plain pathetic.

    2. She had no right to go off on one and have a go at you- you did nothing wrong.

    3. She makes one rule for her and another for the rest of the world and thats stupid.

    Say hi if you've not spoken to her for a while- she could be sorry about what she said but think you wont want to hear from her.

    If that fails then just leave it- shes not worth your friendship if shes gonna act like that.

    Good luck- me xx
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